UOWWBA: Marco Andretti re-signs

Marco Andretti re-signed with AGR for the 2009 season a few weeks ago but this begs a question that has been asked many times: Does Marco Andretti improve or hurt his teammates at Andretti Green Racing?

I really don’t know how to answer this question... Is Marco the best driver out there currently available? Will he and Danica Patrick continue their High School shenanigans? Will Marco win another race soon? Will he challenge for this year’s championship? Should he have waited to sign with Roger Penske? Obviously only time will tell, as it’ll be interesting to see if Hideki Mutoh outperforms him or not this season, as I’d currently rate Marco as either the number 2 or 3 driver at Andretti Green Racing, with Dan-Dan-Danicker bringing up the rear... As I’d have to rate Justin Wilson, Ryan Hunter-Reay, Will Power and Oriel Servia ahead of him in driver talent, but hey, what are yuh gonna do when you’re the bosses son, eh?

Grand Am tests at Daytona

Anticipating another classic race around the clock, the majority of Grand Am teams will complete three days of testing at Daytona Beach, today, with the usual suspects towards the top of the time sheets.

As previously mentioned, Roger Penske has switched from his duo of Porsche factory backed RS Spyder’s in the ALMS to a single Riley/Porsche Daytona Prototype, which ended up fourth on the time charts during the opening days testing, with Ryan Briscoe, Timo Bernhard and Romain Dumas behind the wheel, as apparently Penske will only be fielding a single entry for this year’s contest with no sighting of Curt Busch or “Hulio Castro-nervous” on the premises, while approx. 52 challengers took part in the test session.

On Sunday, “The Captain,” a.k.a. Roger Penske showed up at Daytona and confirmed he’d only be running a single car in this year’s Rolex 24, while Dumas set the fastest time of the third session on Day 2.

Chip Ganassi’s championship winning squad is looking for an unprecedented fourth consecutive overall Rolex 24 victory, along with the victor’s matching Rolex chronograph time piece. As “The Cheepster” (Ganassi) will once again return with a Telmex Riley/ Daytona Prototype with Scott Pruett, Memo Rojas and “MAC” (Juan Pablo) Montoya at the controls, whilst TCGR’s second entry, featuring its stable of Open Wheel Racing stars Scott Dixon, Dario Franchitti and Alex Lloyd took to the track on Sunday and were fastest in the middle of three practice sessions with Dixon behind the wheel.

Indy Car driver Buddy “Hot Rod” Rice was part of the Brumos Porsche DP driving strength along with David Donohue and Darren Law who wound up third fastest on Day 1.

Meanwhile perennial title challenger Wayne Taylor has switched from Pontiac power to the ever improving Ford lumps, which Michael Shank Racing (MSR) has put to good use in the past. Thus, it shouldn’t be too surprising that Taylor’s entry Was fifth quickest on Day 1 of testing, while the MSR Daytona Prototype piloted by Michael Valiante once again headed the timesheets, with Valiante’s co-drivers including AJ Allmendinger, John Pew and Ian James. MSR’s second entry posted the third quick time during one of Sunday’s practice sessions, as “OZ;” Oswaldo Negri Jr, will be partnered with Ryan “The Dude” Hunter-Reay, Colin Braun and Mark Patterson.

Other Sunday runners included Darren “Danger Mouse” Manning, Kyle Petty & Leo Hindery Jr. aboard the Orbit Racing BMW Riley, whilst ex-Indy Car drivers Ryan Dalziel and Tomas Enge, were making hay with co-drivers Chapman Ducote and Carlos de Quesada, behind the wheel of their Alegra Motorsports BMW Riley.

Showing up fashionably late was three time RASSCAR Champ-pee-on Jimmy Johnson, who’ll once again be contesting the Rolex 24 alongside Alex Gurney, Jon Fogarty and Jimmy VASSER, ABOARD THE No. 99 GAINSCO/Bob Stallings Racing Pontiac Riley.

And wait! We cannot forget to mention Princess, who having just paid the $196 Arizona speeding ticket has apparently decided to seek some compensation by deciding to be part of the new Childress-Howard Pontiac/Crawford DP line-up, which lead driver Andy Wallace had a tire let go at 194mph during the day’s first testing session.

No word on whether or not Dan-Dan-Danicker was issued any further citations on her way to Florida...

In the GT ranks, Kevin Buckler’s TRG effort will field an armada of five Porsche 911GT3 Cup race cars, with five Porsche factory drivers including Patrick Long as part of the driving strength, while reigning GT champions Banner Engineering returns with its potent Pontiac GPXR’s and the always quick Mazda RX-8’s will be seeking a repeat GT class victory.

So who will win this year’s Rolex 24? Tune into FOX/SPEED TV on January 24th, as the race kicks off on FOX at 3PM Eastern time before switching over to SPEED for the remainder of TV coverage beginning at 4:30PM Eastern, with the Rolex’s being doled out on Jan. 25...

The Dakar returns

After being cancelled in 2008 due to fears of potential terrorists, the world’s most daunting rally event returns, albeit on a different continent, having moved from Africa to South America.

Having completed their scrutineering checks, the 710 European racing and support vehicles, (approx.) along with Administrative and Media vehicles were prepared to see a massive 820 vehicle armada loaded upon the 'Grande Benelux,' in the Le Havre harbour, on December 1st, in preparations to sail to Zarate, the Argentinean capital, where the remaining competition vehicles will ultimately undergo final scrutineering between December 31 – January 1.

The rally will start and end in Buenos Aires and includes Robby Gordon once again competing under his Team Dakar USA banner aboard his trusty Hummer, soon to possibly be a collector’s item?

And I hope that Robby Gordoun does better then his website... As I was gonna throw in the link to Team Dakar USA, but after twice being serenaded by Safari theme music I had multiple script errors which locked up my confuzer screen, so I gave up!

While the Volkswagen “Works” team armada will flex its muscles as it tries to finally be victorious in this most demanding event, which will see competitors racing from the scorching heat of the South American summer to the frigid heights of the Andes Mountains twice, while trying to unseat the reigning Mitsubishi stalwarts. But don’t expect any TV coverage of the Dakar, which will rampage thru Argentina and Chile January 3-18 stateside, as SPEED is too busy airing mega bloc’s “O Pinks, Unique Whipes and Hot Import Nights...

Dakar Stage 1 report

F1 Launch Fever

Whale, it’s almost that time again... Although I’d assume this year’s Formula 1 Launch parties will be somewhat subdued in spite of the current economic situation, as some F1 teams will simply debut their new (interim) 2009 challengers at upcoming test sessions, while others will host traditional launches, with apparently the Heavy Hitters all launching in January, whilst others will wait until February? Thus, here’s what’s been speculated upon so far.


January 15
Ferrari: fiorano Test Track - launch
Toyota: Pictures made public

January 16
McLaren: Woking Factory - Launch

January 19
Renault: Portugal – Test Session
Williams: Portugal – Test Session

January 20
BMW Sauber: Valencia – Test Session

TBA
Force India
Red Bull Racing
Scuderia Toro Rosso

And perhaps a further team to be named later, nee Honda F1’s decision to pull out of Formula 1!

F430 Scuderia

Happy New Year

Whale Race Fans, I’m still celebrating the Holidaze somewhat... As the SNOW is finally almost all gone, with a rather bizarre thing happening late Monday night, something that’s never occurred before... As some sorta Snowplow thingy could be heard driving back ‘N forth thru the parking lot with that overly annoying claxon bell back-up beeping noise at 11PM! As there’s now piles ‘O four foot brown & white snow sitting piled on every conceivable space between parking stalls and walkways, awaiting the rain to dissipate it! And it’s even funnier trying to make out the incognito battleship grey snow banks when walking upon the still slick as snot sidewalks on which the snow banks are strategically piled in front of... But I digress...

I’ll be returning to full (scribblin’) broadcasting mode next week... As it’s almost time to feel the heat of another racing season just around the corner; which hopefully we’ll not see too many further demises ‘O Racing Teams, Star Drivers and Motorsports employees.

And thus, its time to ring in another new racing season... So, without any furter vurd botcherin,’ as the chief bottle washer & head scribe of No Fenders... May Y’all have a Happy New Year, as now its time for me to don my party hat, eh?.

Feliz Año Nuevo!
Happy New Years Y’all!
Tomaso

The sound of music

Princess makes another Boo-Boo

According to multiple sources all over le internets and the Blogosphere... No Fenders most favourite (NOT!) Indy Car star Princess Danicker has once again been caught speeding upon the public roads in Scottsdale, AZ.

As the Roscoe, IL featherweight who was too knackered to take turns alongside AGR’s “Marky Mark” (Marco Andretti) for Team USA’s A1 GP effort this season, has been popped doing 54 in a 35mph zone on Dec. 9th. And before I pile on too much (never) upon Dan-Dan-Danicker, at least she wasn’t caught pulling a Charles Barkley “I REFUSE to take a Breathalyzer” in her 2007 Gold Mercedes Benz. (Nice colour choice, eh?) As the Round Mound ‘O Rebound was caught rolling thru a stop sign in Old Scottsdale, AZ in the wee morning hours of Dec. 31st. And if you think I’m being tough on Sir Charles, well at least it wasn’t his second DUI like ex-Seattle Seahawks Hall of Fame QB & current Seahawks radio commentator Warren Moon, whom was arrested before the beginning of this year’s NFL season. Hey, wait a second, I’m starting to sense a pattern here; Oh Never Mind!

And even if the IRL’s fan darling has to go to driving school to sort out her over usage of the loud pedal... Don’t forget that F1 triple World Champion Nelson Piquet (Senior) has already been there - done that!

kudos to pressdog for his always entertaining spin and heads-up on this wrongdoing:
Daniker is gets a Speed Racer Ticket

And while reflecting upon her need for speed Danica has claimed the following upon her first run-in with the law at the tender age of Sweet 16:

"I was driving a friend home and the cop nailed me going 65 in a 45 in my Mustang."
"I told the cop that I was just using my new car's potential. He didn't think that was too funny."

Already having attended a Defensive Driving class... NO JOKE! But does anybody see any irony there? In order to get out of being nabbed for doing 57 in a 40mph zone this past year, inquiring minds wanna know:

Does she get points deducted for doing her patented stomp? Or does she have to attend extra classes for pulling off her gloves and looking for her instructors head...

Geez! I could go on all day, eh?

Danica Patric feels the need, the need for speed

Guess it’s a good thing she doesn’t own a Ferrari, although Indiana Bureau Chief Danny B has quipped that Dan-Dan-Danicker was likely going faster in Arizona then on her final lap in Motegi... OUCH!

The King is gone

After watching a ridiculously lob sided blowout on Sunday Night Football... I’m left with the song ‘N dance of one ‘Ol ex-NFL Quarterback and Monday Night Football colour commentator’s signature Tag line: “Turn out the lights, the parties’ over!”

Which unfortunately seems to be the exact same case for Petty Enterprises... As the Roundy-round’s longest CUP team has just pulled the plug on their floundering operation, after 60yrs of business. Having given pink slips to the remaining employees, as “The King,” Kyle & Co. have shut down operations at Petty Enterprises and apparently there will no longer be any #43 poundin’ the high banks ‘O Daytona come this February.

And the hits just keep on comin’...

Grand Prix revisited

With the recent news that a new racing movie is in the works, centering around the 1911 Indy 500 and OWR Curmudgeon Robin Miller’s comments on how there’s only been three really great racing movies; ”Grand Prix, Winning and The Big Wheel.”

To which I beg to differ as I think Steve McQueen’s epic Le Mans should also be on this list, I thought I’d relive the ecstasy of watching Grand Prix for the very first time two years ago...

1911 Indy 500 Movie in the making

Holy Racing movies Batman! Can it really have already been two years ago?

(December, 2006)
Grand Prix: The Movie
For the past few days; including this morning) Not for the first time, nor most likely for the last (hopefully!) the Speed Channel aired the movie Grand Prix… I suppose as a true Formula 1 fan I should be chagrined to admit that I’d never watched this movie in its entirety. Although I’ve seen bits & pieces over the years, I’ve never been able to sit through the whole movie... (Especially with Speed Channel’s 4 hours, 30 minutes air time)

Yet, I did find it very entertaining to watch the first 40+ minute portion, which was totally devoted to the actual making of this epic production. It included interviews with director John Frankenheimer and the movie’s leading man James Gardner, as it was quite entertaining to hear Gardner’s comments about the movie.Originally the producers had cast Steve McQueen for the lead role, which he would have been amazing in, yet the meeting with McQueen went horribly wrong and McQueen stormed out. This left the door wide open for MGM’s golden boy; James Gardner whom the studio wanted and forced the director to take on.

To me there seems to be several ironies to this movie. Gardner’s main nemesis in the movie is named Scott Stoddart. (Obviously no relation to Paul Stoddart) The Japanese entrepreneur that Gardner ultimately drives for is named Mr. Yomura and seems eerily painted as Mr. Honda… And in one scene Mr. Yomura tells Gardner that he tried buying the Jordan-BRM team, which bears NO relation to ex-F1 boss “EJ’s” (Eddie Jordan) fledgling

Privateer team.Produced in 1966, the movie cost approx. $9 million to produce, estimated at $220 million in today’s dollars. It featured many inventions in the realm of filming a race movie. Most notably a hydrogen cannon used to shoot the race cars into the water. The cars engines were removed and a steel sleeve welded inside. This allowed the cannon to fire the cars in any direction.

And speaking of the cars, I had to chuckle, seeing ‘ol “Shel’s” (Carroll Shelby) mug on the screen. Shelby was approached to get the necessary cars built for the movie. Shelby called Jim Russell around 3 AM in the morning to offer Russel the project of converting 15-20 F3 chassis into replica BRM’s, Eagles, Ferrari’s, etc. This was possible since it was the very first year of the new 3.0 liter engine formula and the real F1 cars appearances were changing weekly. And yes, it’s the same Russell who owns the prestigious European racing school that many top flight F1 drivers graduated from.

And I especially enjoyed Frankenheimer’s story of swaying “Il Commendatore"” (Enzo Ferrari) to approve of his project. As many know there haven’t been too many realistic racing movies ever made. Just think of “Daze ‘O Blunder” and Driven to begin with…

At the start Enzo told Frankenheimer that not only could he NOT use any of his cars, he couldn’t use the name Ferrari in the movie. After shooting live footage at Monaco, Frankenheimer called Enzo to ask him to reconsider by just watching the 30 minutes he’d put together. Of course Enzo replied that he didn’t have a projector, blah-blah-blah. Frankenheimer replied: Will you watch it; Yes or No? Frankenheimer chartered a plane, took movie, projector, AV aides, etc and set it all up in Enzo’s office. According to Frankenheimer after the film finished Enzo “bear” hugged him and said you can have anything. The factory, the race team, and the cars, anything!

Gardner revealed some interesting aspects of the actual filming. They used a GT-40 as a chase car. And they had a TV inside the cockpit which they could monitor Gardner while driving around at speed to see how the shots looked?

They also used the GT-40 as a tow vehicle, along with cutting off the front of an F3 film car just in front of the windscreen and towed the chassis with driver (Actor) at 140-150mph...

Gardner enjoyed bragging about the time while filming at Monte Carlo when Jochen Rindt couldn’t keep up with him. Rindt hadn’t driven the F3 chassis before. Gardner meanwhile had taken private driving lessons from Bob Bondurant.

And the scenes from Monza are amazing. Actually all of the in-car footage is quite excellent, yet it’s just so intriguing to watch the little cars circulating around the Monza banking of the long discarded Oval track.

And as in another Speed Channel special; The Quick and the Dead, it’s quite odd to hear our national anthem being played for the race winner. Something I’ve never heard since watching Formula 1…

Merry Christmas

To all of the faithful readers of No Fenders, I hope Santa has brought Y’all everything desired... As Santa decided to bring us a white Christmas for the first time in several years, before we’ll go back to our traditional and much desired (?) dousing of the wet stuff better known as precipitation, while I’ve enjoyed furiously scribblin’ about the various guises ‘O motorsports this year... But, as the chief bottle washer & head scribe of No Fenders I’ve decided a break is needed and therefore will take the rest of the year off in order to go play in the not-so fast disappearing SNOW!

So once again, Merry Christmas everyone!
tomaso

PS:
Don’t forget to check out the Vodafone Survey, which could possibly net you a cool 200 smackeroos and ends on December 31st.

Vodafone Survey

Merry Kringle

‘Twas the day before Christmas, when through all of the paddocks.
Not a motor was idling, not even a single Cosworth “Lump” could be heard.
The garages were swept and tidied with care, In hopes that Roger Penske soon would be there; The mechanics were nestled all snug in their beds.While visions of Championship bonuses danced in their heads. (Not to mention Hulioe!)And “Princess” in her negligee, and Paul Tracy in his crash bucket, had just settled down for a quick tryst in the sack.
When out on the lawn there arose such a racket, ‘ol PT sprang from the bed to see what “TAG, Suitcase Servia, Whiney Bags and Bad Bobby D’ were groaning about.

Away to the window Tracy flew like a demon. Ran over the back markers and punted the Hamburgular clear outta the way.

The smoke from between Sea Bass’s ears. Glistened like a smoke signal, without a glow. When, what to PT’s wandering eyes should appear.But a Ferrari ENZO followed by an armada of Prancing Horses in tow.
The ENZO was piloted by an ex-Formula 1 driver, still brutally quick.That Tracy knew in an instant it must be Michael Schumacher.More rapid than a grid full of Bridgestone alternate “soft tyre” Formula 1 chassis in “Qualie Two” light fuel tanks mode. The seven times World Champion whistled and jeered, and called them by name;

Now, Mika now, Coulthard! Now, Rubinoe and Ralfanso!
On, Heinz-Harald! On Villeneuve! On Damion and Irvine!

To the front of the grid! To the head of the pack.
Now burn rubber, burn rubber baby, burn rubber quick!

As tyre tracks that leave ominous black streaks behind. While Herr Schumacher leaves another competitor far behind!

So up to the roof-top the Prancing Horses flew. With trunk loads of presents and Schuey too. And then, came a banshee wail of the ENZO, high atop the roof.

The revving and idling of each assorted Ferrari. As PT rubbed his hands. Down the chimney Schuey forlornly came. He was dressed all in Scuderia Red, from his head to his foot.And his Nomex driver’s suit was all tarnished with ashes and soot; an assortment of winning trophies, he’d stuffed into his back pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! His rosy cheeks, how they glowed.
His hair as always was perfect, his jaw like a chisel! His lips clenched in a mischievous smirk. As the smile was reminiscent of a Cheshire cat;

The remains of a Cuban cigar hung limply from his teeth. As clouds of Smoke encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a taunt face and washboard abs. that still showed his youthful physique when he laughed at the dumbfounded PT. He was strong and fit as an ox, a festive and jolly elf; Thus Tracy could only laugh when he appeared
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head. Soon gave PT nothing to fear. As Schuey spoke nary a word, but went straight to his work. Filling all of the stockings with various racing trinkets. (Such as the 2002 Borg Warner Cup, a new three year contract signed by P.L. Newman & Carl Haas along with some of the Hamburgular’s secret winning sauce…)

Before PT could wipe away his astonishment, the famous German turned Quickly, laying his finger aside of his nose. And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose; He sprang to his idling ENZO, and to his waiting minions gave a whistle. And the screeching of tortured Ferrari lumps could be heard as they burst away like rocket ships! But ‘ol PT heard him exclaim, as he power-slided out of sight;
"Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good-night."

Felice Navidad
Tomaso

UOWWBA: X-Mas wish list

This week’s question;
What's on this year's Christmas List for the IRL?

Well for starter’s;

I’d guess that EJ (Ernesto) “What Me Worry?” Viso and Princess Danicker will continue to be naughty...
And a full grid would be nice
While I’m sure ‘lil Napoleon
Is checkin’ his list ‘O potential sponsors twice...

So, in no particular order...
Fully funded season rides for Justin Wilson, Ryan Hunter-Reay, AJ Foyt IV, Oriel Servia and Will Power...

New title sponsors for Newman Haas Lanigan , KV Racing Technology and gasp! Vision Racing...

A full season two car team for Rahal Letterman Racing with the Hamburgular as their lead driver with “The Dude” back for his sophomore season with the team... (As we wanna see Sea Bass kicking ARSE for somebody besides Penske, Ganassi or AGR!)

Portland getting its FRILLIN’ race back! (Finally)

A return of a 24-26 car grid, with lots of hard working crew people getting to work the entire year...

Sarah Fisher Racing running the entire season...

Jay Howard and Alex Lloyd landing full time rides...

Milka Duno scoring her first podium...

Montezemolo loses it!

And why does The Who’s Pete Townsend come to mind while in the background I hear John Hiat’s; Smashing a perfectly good guitar! Now kids, DON’T try this at home! These are trained professionals...

As its been reported that Ferrari Supremo Luca di Montezemolo was so outraged by Lewis Hamilton’s last corner snatching of the 2008 F1 Drivers World Championship that he SMASHED his TV!

Luca smashes tellie

Ferrari wins again

While some current F1 teams must be sweating the future, the team that seems to be wearing shades, (You may wanna make those safety glasses instead, if Luca D is anywhere nearby, eh?) As the Spanish bank Santander has indeed signed a contract to sponsor Ferrari beginning in 2010, which will possibly spark the revival of Ferdi the Putz’s (Alonso) arrival at Maranello in 2010/2011?

Meanwhile, the Scuderia has been soaking up some more made for television hyperbole by inviting three young Italian Lions to test their hands behind the wheel of a current spec Ferrari F2008 chassis, after The Doctor’s (Valentino Rossi) recent media blitz.

And amidst this media hype, The Iceman has returned to the cockpit for the first time since the season finale and will spend the winter focusing upon solving his tire troubles alongside Felipe Massa, as its just been reported that the Scuderia has revamped some of its racing team’s personnel, including Kimi Raikkonen being partnered with a new race engineer...

Ferrari revises team structure

McLaren’s white doves

As previously mentioned, shockingly, (NOT!) McLaren’s Golden Boy Lewis “Jaguar” Hamilton has been making the rounds of various Awards Banquets and has just collected the Autosport International Driver of the Year award, along with the majority of the BRDC Driver Awards.

The McLaren MP4/23 was voted the racing car of the year, with Ron Dennis receiving a Gold Star award to match Hamilton’s... And while “Jaguar” and the “Ronster” were busy soaking in the glare of bright lights and Dom Paragon, the Woking based squad was busy testing 2009 components in Jerez along with several other F1 teams.

Mclaren has also announced that their 2009 challenger will be launched on January 16th.

BMW still playing third fiddle

Just-in-time for the Holidaze’s... The Bavarian backed Swiss team’s major sponsor Credit Suisse also appears to not be immune to the current global economic crisis and has just announced that it plans to lay off up to 11% of its workforce, although its not known what effect, if any it’ll have upon the team.

Meanwhile in Mexico City, the Formula BMW World Championships were held and surprisingly, BMW America series champion Alexander Rossi was victorious, ahead of Michael Christensen and “Home Boy” Esteban Gutierrez, with Team Boss Dr. Mario theisman and “The Krakow Kid,” a.k.a. Robert Kubica attending the festivities.

Kubica, “Quick Nick” (Heidfeld) and tester Christian Klien have all since taken their respective turns testing various incarnations of BMW Sauber’s next race car, the F1.09 with KERS at Jerez alongside their fellow rivals...

More bad news

Whale I suppose by now, Y’all have heard that Roger Penske has pulled the plug upon his pet project: The Raceway at Belle Isle, and therefore the 2009 IRL Labor Day event has been cancelled. This was due in large part to The Captain simply not wishing to spend anymore of his own money, along with the fact that various sponsors and race teams have departed, as Firestone has left as well as Audi and Porsche “Works” efforts from the race weekend’s supporting cast, the ALMS.

WRC teams withdraw
Adding a further blow to the global motor racing scene, comes news that both Suzuki and Subaru have decided to withdraw from the World Rally Championship and will cease their factory team’s competition immediately. This is a major blow for the WRC and now leaves only two Automobile manufacturers competing: Ford and Citroen.

And although Suzuki’s decision isn’t surprising, as they’ve generally been back markers, having only contested last season, Subaru’s whole motor sports image has long revolved around rallying, having won six WRC titles. So it will be a bitter pill for the WRC to swallow.

Will WRC’s loss be F1’s gain?
And with the departure of Subaru from rallying, whose ‘Works” efforts have long been overseen by David Richards Prodrive operation, is this a signal that Richards may be on the verge of buying the departing Honda F1 outfit? Recall that it was Richards who brought Honda its best season’s results by finishing runner-up to Ferrari in the Constructors championship in 2004, before ironically, current team boss Nick Frye sent Richards packing. So, who’ll have the last laugh? Although Richards could now have competition to buy the Brackley based squad from Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim and the Korean Auto manufacturer Hyundai?

Renault to upset the Apple cart?

Apparently Renault has reportedly been stirring the pot over the IDIOTIC Standardized engine proposal of Sir Maxxum, a.k.a. MAD Max Mosley, as an Italian newspaper claimed they were considering switching to the Cosworth spec engine...

ING Renault F1:
“Speculation that appeared this morning in the Italian press, the ING Renault F1 Team would like to state that the positions of the Team and Renault are in complete accordance to those of the FOTA. We would like to point out that neither Mr. Briatore nor Renault have spoken to the press regarding this matter before this official press release.”
(Source: Motorsport.com)

Therefore, Renault is going to keep its own lumps behind the backsides of both 2009 drivers and will not utilize the Standardized Spec engine in 2010...

Meanwhile Fernando Alonso and Nelson Piquet Jr. wrapped up testing at Jerez with “Fredrico” setting the 6th quickest time on Day 3 after amassing some 120+ laps, with “Nelson-Nelson” nipping at his heels, only 0.40 seconds behind...

Toyota still trying to catch up

The Panasonic Toyota team seems to be keeping a very low profile in regards to their Japanese rival Honda’s exit us from the sport, along with title sponsor Panasonic and parent company Toyota both feeling the squeeze from the current global economy.

Toyota has previously let it be known, albeit leaked by a team rival that it will not utilize KERS at next season’s Formula 1 opener in Melbourne, nor will it be hosting any glitzy launch parties. Yet instead letting Jarno Trulli do its talking with the Italian claiming that Toyota will be in good shape for next season.

Careful Jarno, I believe that Jense also tried drinking that Kool-Aid!

Trulli hopes to close gap

Scuderia Toro Rosso

The little team that could! As perhaps Red Bull really does give you wings? With ex-Scuderia Toro Rosso team driver Sebastian Vettel having recently been named Autosport’s Rookie of the Year, while the Faenza based team also finished ahead of its big brother Red Bull Racing in this year’s Constructor’s championship and has just swept the first three days of testing at Jerez.

New boy Sebastian (What’s with the Seb-thingy?) Buemi, who’s reportedly a schu-in for one of the two Toro Rosso race seats in ’09, topped the time sheets during the first four days; three for STR and a further day for RBR before Vettel finally beat him. And “Taku” (Takuma Sato) was only a few thousand seconds behind in P2 when testing, while The Hamburgular (S. Bourdais) was close behind as he tries to keep his drive, although I have to wonder if Taku-san will get the nod, since Team boss Deeter Majestic is keen to have his flighty drinks beverage break into the Japanese marketplace...

Snow caper

While having just made a somewhat Artic trek to the local grocery store, as we’re waitin’ out the winter storm, expected to arrive anytime now... This story just kept a smile on my face...

As I’d chalk it up to another “Stupid Thieves” category as apparently two would be vandals didn’t realize that they were leaving their footprints in the snow, to which I’d guess you should always cover your tracks, eh?

Footprints lead cops to suspects

Is corn King?

Whale, I do have to say that the Indy Car Series decision to go with Brazilian ethanol in favour of our own Mid-western bread basket’s variety is seemingly just one more slap in the face in regards to the current economy... (I mean, couldn’t the IRL have given those farmers a bailout?)

Now obviously, I’m NOT privy to the inner sanctum of 16th & Georgetown; nor what ‘lil Napoleon, a.k.a. Tony George is thinking(?) so, I found it most bemusing that the IRL dispatched Terry Angstadt to the Autosport Radio show recently to try and explain their reason’s for cutting a deal with Brazil instead of its current American Ethanol producers.

But after having listened to Mr. Angstadt’s (woeful) explanation of how they tried to do everything(?) in their power to continue their association with EPIC and American Ethanol... Hmm? That party line sounds awfully similar to the Oz race cancellation, eh?

It seems to me that the IRL simply saw an opportunity to get into (bed) with a partner who’s a bigger market, along with another case of Outsourcing, as Brazil reportedly has a giant Indy Car fan base and TV rating shares of 4.0 – 4.5, to which Terry said wryly; I’d like to have those here... Thus, I think the IRL simply saw an opportunity and took it!

Even more ironic is that one of Donald Kay’s show sponsors is EPIC: the Ethanol Promotion and Information Council...

And while I’m all in favour of alternative energy sources, I’m not exactly sure what to think about Ethanol, having heard conflicting reports over its production vs. benefits.

Yet, I’m obviously in favour of slashing our dependency on foreign oil, i.e.; Saudi Arabia, although it’s a bit funny that actually the United States No. 1 importer comes from our neighbors Up North, Eh? “Oh-Kan-ah-duh!”

Thus, I found the following article very interesting, as it disputes the virtues of Ethanol, in favour of a little known alternative substance known as; Butanol. Of course this is from a biased source, but nevertheless it does make for an interesting thought, as now the head of DuPont has just urged the Big Three to form an alliance to produce a 75mpg vehicle that would run upon, you guessed it! Butanol.

Perhaps the switch to sugar cane based foreign Ethanol, hydrogen, corn based Ethanol, Butanol, Cellulosic based Ethanol, Bio Diesel, hybrid’s and plug-in’s will indeed enable us to solve our dependency of fossil fuels.

Then again, it’s hard to believe that the Oil Barons will be willing to let go of their monopoly, eh? I mean, have you ever noticed how many 18 wheeler’s dot the countryside? Then again, it cannot hurt us to try something different...

Adam 12, where are you?

This one is just too good to pass up, as I’m assuming a little levity is needed at the moment... As when’s the last time you’ve heard of a police battlewagon being pilfered? Apparently the Bellingham cop, who was responding to a call, left the vehicle running and when he returned it was gone!

Adam 12, do you read me? Come-in Adam 12, Breaker-breaker...

Police car stolen when officer leaves it running

Ebenezer Bernardo

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.

You really are a heel!

You're as cuddly as a cactus,You're as charming as an eel.

Mr. Grinch.

You're a bad bananaWith a greasy black peel.

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch...
(Lyrics: You’re a MEAN one Mr. Grinch; Dr. Seuss)

And continuing with our winter theme... Bah Humbug Ebenezer Bernardo! As The Penguin, a.k.a. Messer Ecclestone was less then pleasant towards Honda F1’s demise... Hmm? Perhaps Slavica will leave you a lump ‘O coal, Mr. E?

Bernie bashes Honda F1

Meanwhile, thankfully the fans are telling Emperor Bernardo he’s full of BLEEP! As according to Motorsport.com;
“A poll at manipeF1.com shows 77 percent of voters oppose Bernie Ecclestone's gold-silver-bronze medals plan for determining a world driving champion.”

So, perhaps somebody will tell Bernardo to go STUFF IT! (Besides his wife, eh?) Or better yet stick a fork in the Penguin and tell him he’s toast!

Fa-la-la-la-lah, its beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Snowed-in Seattle

(Source: SeattlePI.com)

So, I’m guessing that many people are catching up on their sleep today? As its been snowing in Seattle; although many Western “Warshingtonian’s” are still Sleepless...

Otay, so it may not be a big deal to you if you’re from someplace where inclement weather is the norm, but we’ve been having a bit of a COLD spell up here in the Pacific Northwest, which means our city comes to a complete standstill!

The week began with light snowfall and actually breaking the cold temperature mark of 44yrs when it was 20 degrees, as the thermometer sank to 19f at 4AM. Then we’ve been waiting for it and it snowed again beginning Wednesday afternoon and continuing thru Thursday morning, with the most unbelievable Thunder ‘N Lightning storm, which meteorologists are calling “Thunder snow.”

The next two days will be clear but COLD (For Us!) with temperatures in the teen’s, expected to break another cold temp. record before you guessed it! Another round ‘O snow on Sunday... But Hallelujah, I’m NOT in Hopkins, MN where it’s actually gonna be above ZERO for part of the day. And that’s all of the weather report for now...

Seattle gets Snowfall

Freak bites

Jay Howard, who won the PRI go-kart race this past Thursday was on the Speed Freaks show and once again was quite funny, just have to get use to his extremely dry wit... As apparently he pulled and Eddie “F-Bombs R-Us” Carpentier on the show when asked about Scotty “The Goose” Speed. (Otay, I’m guessing on the F-Bomb, since it seems that it was chopped via the 7 second delay...)

But, Howard has just gained a ton of respect by pointing out how un-impressed he is by all of the ranting ‘N raving over Scott “NOSE” Speed, as he just isn’t as good as everybody makes him out to be...

Good on you mate! Now, you’ve gotta listen to the Speed Freaks interview...

Jay Howard interview

And don’t think that the Indy Racing League has a popularity dilemma? As NOT one but two freakin’ fans calling in for the Santa stash give away BLEW the motorsports question... Which for Kee-wrist’s sakes was even DUMBED down to a multiple choice answer: A) RASSCAR; B) IndyCar; C) Motorcycles or D) Drag Racing?

First contestant; Ed Carpenter? Uhm? RASSCAR BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!!!!!!!!!!! (Buzzer sound effect) WRONG! Then they got a female contestant, who appalled me by divulging that she’s a Formula 1 fan, as Crash Gladys said should I say it? It’s the most OBVIOUS of all! Danica Patrick? Oh I know this “Juan!” She’s... RASSCAR!!! BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!!!!!!!!!!!

To which I burst out in laughter... No, sorry, Princess hasn’t jumped ship yet; at least I don’t think so? As Crash Gladys said later, I think that the IRLhas an identity crisis, if fans DON’T know which series Princess drives for... (I mean Edward Carpenter is a bit ‘O a stretch... Could you imagine asking ‘bout EJ Viso?) But remember kiddies’...

“7 out of 10 Danicker Patrick fans know the alphabet!”

Brickyard Inn closes

During Sunday night’s Speed Freaks show, Crash Gladys speculated that more bad news was coming henceforth from Indy Car, but she didn’t know what it was, only that Joie Chitwood had left the PRI event early and the bad news would be announced on Monday.

So, I spent the day checking the newswires, internets and blogosphere and um? Whale Nothing! And after a quick check this morning, this is the only bad news I can find regarding Indy Car...

The Brickyard Inn motel behind Turn 2 at the southeast corner of IMS is closing immediately, after 45 years of business and will be raised early next year.

According to the Indy Star report, the motel simply couldn’t keep up in these hard times, which to me isn’t surprising, having stayed there in 2007 when I went to ride around Mecca in the Indy Racing Experience’s two seater. Having guessed that the décor hadn’t been changed since the 1970’s, (Ok, so I wasn’t far off, eh?) nevertheless, I enjoyed my room as you actually had to use a real key to unlock your door and the wake-up calls were done by a real “live” person on a telephone with a rotary sounding bell tone.

Indy Celebrities

Yet, it was clean and the staff was most pleasant, even though when I asked for suggestions on where to stay, the person sheepishly mentioned the Brickyard Inn, saying... Uhm? Whale, it’s NOT exactly “State of the Art!” And there’s much nicer hotels in downtown Indiana... But the price was definitely right and it was next door to the Speedway. So perhaps a new, more modern hotel/motel will emerge in the future?

Brickyard Inn motel closes

WMSC Rubber stamps FIA proposal

As expected, the World Motor Sport Council, (WMSC) which convened in Paris on Friday, December 12th has rubber stamped the radical FIA rules revisions proposed by Max Mosley along with the unanimous agreement of the Formula One Teams Association (FOTA) which represents all of the current F1 Constructors.

These Formula 1 rule revisions are fairly substantial and aimed toward major cost reduction for the sports competitors, yet once again it appears that the employees will get the short end of the stick!

Some of the major revisions are as follows...

2009:
Engines: Mandatory three race weekend distance; 18,000RPM maximum rev limit; Maximum use of 20 engines per season.

2010:
Tire warmers and Refueling BANNED!

For a more in-depth look at the accepted changes, see: FIA Rule Changes

UOWWBA: Talent Search

Continuing on with our theme of IRL talent spotting, the current “Hot-button” issue of the moment is;

UOWWBA Question:
You have just been appointed to be the new "talent scout" for the IRL. Your first mission is to bring 5 drivers to the series. These can be former drivers from Indycar or from any other series. Which 5 would you pick and why?


Robert Wickens/James Hinchcliffe
Sentimentally; I’d pick the young “Wicky” whom I’m guessing is Oh Kan-ah-duh’s next great F1 hope, although “Hinge” is not too shabby himself and after all did bestow the moniker of Wicky upon Messer Robert’s, while Kevin Lacroix comes to mind also.

Honorable mention: Paul Tracy
Mr. Chrome Horn; as I only shied away from ‘Ol PT ‘cause Mr. 16th & G. had already picked him, but if you wanna sell tickets Up North Eh? Then Tracy’s a must!


Dillon Battistini
This young British lion seems quite capable of running towards the front in the Indy Car World Series and I just so happen to really like his last name! After having gotten off to a really fast start in the Firestone Indy Lights championship last year, his rookie campaign tailed off slightly when switching teams for reasons unknown. But I’d expect him to be a possible series winner in ’09.

Honorable mention: Alex Lloyd; Jay Howard
Both of these past Indy Pro Series champions are most deserving of rides and if the IRL is to put its money where its mouth is, then they need to start having their marquee feeder series championship (Flinstone Indy Lites) drivers racing in the big league!


John Edwards
John is an impressive racer, originally from Little Rock, AR, he was the youngest ever driver to be picked for the Red Bull driver search and spent time in Italy racing go karts. He then spent a season in the Champ Car Atlantics racing alongside James Hinchcliffe at Gerald Forsythe’s Red Bull backed operation, before earning his personal Driver’s License. John then subsequently lost his funding, and while searching for a new ride, Edwards landed in the Star Mazda series and went onto become the 2008 Champion even without contesting the entire season. For 2009, Edwards will graduate to the Atlantics Championship with Newman Wachs Racing, as part of his winning the title, not to mention a cool $750,000 Bonus!

Honorable mention: Alexander Rossi; Connor Daly; Josef Newgarden
I know very little about these three up ‘N comers, yet; Rossi just won the BMW World Finals, Daly won the Walter Hayes trophy and Newgarden won the Formula Ford Festival.


Esteban Gutierrez
Esteban has just won the BMW European Championship quite convincingly and is regarded as a true up ‘N coming talent, and would probably compliment Mario “Boom-Boom” Dominguez nicely, as I’d guess that he could be a big draw with the South of the Border fan base.

Honorable mention: David Martinez; Memo Rojas
Both seem to be vastly underrated drivers, as Martinez performed quite admirably in his limited Champ Car drives as Tracy’s substitute at Forsythe Racing, while Rojas has just won the Daytona Prototype championship as Scott Prueet’s co-driver.


Bruno Senna
How can you go wrong with a last name like that? Although I suspect that the young nephew of the late, great triple World Champion Ayrton is completely focused upon F1, I can only guess how cool it would be to have him in the cockpit of a Marlboro Team Penske race car with that Yellow helmet, causing a flood of memories of the past. And besides his Honda F1 ride appears to be toast.

Honorable mention: Rubens Barrichello; Felipe Massa; Ana Beatriz
Rubino is probably a tad too old and Ana is still working her way up the ladder, (Although it would be fun to see Princess with some more competition. Hey I know! Milka & Bia could tag-team up against her. Yeah, that’s the ticket!) While Felipe is busy kicking ASS in F1!

Trusting Red Bull

While Red Bull Racing’s Mark Webber continues to recuperate from his broken leg, Sebastian Vettel has been busy testing at Jerez, along with several other F1 teams, and as usual has been towards the top of the time sheets.

And while it’s already been announced that Vettel has moved up from Scuderia Toro Rosso as David Coulthard’s replacement for the ’09 season, Red Bull has also just announced that Trust will become a new team sponsor and will be seen upon the driver’s chin bars. ) Whatever the HELL those are?)

You may recall that Trust previously sponsored the Minardi and Jordan F1 team’s and has been backing the Trust Team Arden in GP2, which just so happens to be owned by RBR’s Team Principal Christian Horner...

Williams still in the game

On the heels of Honda’s decision to leave the sport once again, there’s not a whole lot of good news at the moment, as we all know, the global economy isn’t exactly rosy at the moment.

Meanwhile there’s more bad news for Williams, as title sponsor AT & T has just announced impending layoffs for 12,000 company employees, while reportedly Lenovo is also set to depart the Grove based squad in 2009 and head to rival British based team McLaren.

Meanwhile, Brazilian oil concern Petrobras, who’s previously stated its leaving Sir Frank’s operation, may wish to rethink this strategy upon Honda quitting F1, if a new suitor cannot be found, which is exactly the same strategic move current F1 piloto NICO Rosberg may wish to do in regards to his latest talk of potentially quitting Williams?

Careful NICO!

Yet, on the positive side, sir Frank has just been awarded the Colin Chapman Trophy at this year’s BRDC Awards Banquet. The Colin Chapman Trophy is awarded to an individual "who has shown great team spirit, be it a driver, team owner, engineer or similar," as Sir Frank has emphatically stated.” We only exist to race.”

Swiss watch maker Oris has just announced an extension of its contract with the Williams team.

Frank Williams:
“I am delighted that Oris, together with Philips and Allianz have all recently extended their partnership agreements with the team. Oris can be assured of our best endeavours to return their confidence in the team with measurable commercial dividends next year, and I hope today’s agreement will be the first two yearstep to Oris joining team partners such as Allianz and Accenture who have sponsored us for over a decade.”
(Source: F1 Uncovered.com)

Honda quits F1

As noted last week, the Honda Motor Company dropped another bombshell on the F1 community by announcing that it will close down the Brackley based operation if a new suitor isn’t found within the next three months.

James Allen:
“This is a major moment for the sport and I imagine Bernie Ecclestone and Max Mosley will be ringing around frantically this evening (last Thursday) ensuring that the remaining teams are solid.
Toyota are the ones most are nervous about. They may use the withdrawal of their major rival as an excuse to get out, should they feel the conditions demand it.”
(Source: ITV-F1.com)

James Allen: on Honda’s F1 future

Thus, Rubens Barrichello’s revelations that former employer Ferrari did indeed instruct him to render the lead to Michael Schumacher in the 2002 Austrian Grand Prix, which led to the ridiculous “NO Team Orders in F1” rule revision, seems a bit tepid at the moment. But then again, look on the bright side Rubino, at least you didn’t just sign a contract extension with the Honda F1 team like poor “Jense” just did...

Then again, this probably won’t help his marginal chances of remaining with whoever the new concern is, if they’re “Powered by Ferrari,” eh?

Barrichello spills the beans on ’02 Austria GP

F1’s newest Hot-Schu?

Current Red Bull Racing test driver Sebastian Buemi, and soon to likely be a full fledged F1 piloto for Scuderia Toro Rosso, has been most impressive at the latest testing outing at Jerez, where Buemi led the time sheets all three days...

Jerez F1 Test

The F1 “Big Boy’s” are staying put

With Honda’s bombshell of pulling the plug upon its Formula 1 effort, and Max Mosley’s less than encouraging attitude towards the current status of the sport, many are wondering if any of the other Automobile manufacturers will be leaving the Grand Prix circus.

Thus, BMW Sauber, Ferrari, Mercedes Benz, Renault and Toyota have jointly announced that they’re all planning to continue their respective programs in Formula 1 and are disappointed over Honda’s departure...

Voices of Calm