Wienermobile follies

I wish I was an Oscar Meyer wiener…

Holy Wienermobile Batman! As Y’all (painfully) know by now, my Confuzer has been outta action the past several weeks, which may be was due to the carelessness of a Rookie Wienermobile Piloto, eh?

Wienermobile crashes into Wisconsin home

And I certainly hope that the fine folks at Oscar Meyer didn’t call the errant Tow Truck Operator who just managed to crash his way into somebody’s Swimming pool after playing pinball with another Motorist while too busy talking on one cell phone while texting on another…

Tow Truck driver crashes into pool while texting

Now what was that tag line about They Plump when yuhs Cooks ‘dem? Somebody stops me now… Can it be the HEAT?

Broken record

So apparently inquiring minds wanna know? Did we break the ALL time temperature record or what?

As you may be aware of, we're having our own little NASTY HEAT WAVE up here right now... (Minus AC) Which means it’s BLOODY HOT up here as I'm glad I don't have a talking thermometer to register what the temp is inside my Domicile, eh?

And as Meesh would say… We broke the F%%KING Record!
103 Deg F was new ALL time record set yesterday, with the Eastside hitting an unprecedented 107; aye Karumba! And today it’s only supposed to be 101 before we dip back into the high 80's/Low 90's by the end of this weekend, as some much needed moist ‘N COOL Marine air blows our way and pushes that NASTY, STAGNANT Californian air easterly.

And this concludes your Tomaso weather update, now back to your *somewhat) regular broadcasting... Next up, Cat talk, may be?

Schumacher returning!

Holy Blogosphere Batman! Talk about your riveting news cycle, eh?

Having taken a dip in the Kiddies’ pool, after a sweltering walk in 95 degrees temperature at 12:30PM today. (Otay, I’ll stop with the weather reporting, may be?)

So what to do now? Yeah, I succumbed to surfing the internets and was floored to discover on James Allen’s F1 Blog the title screaming Schumacher to return to Formula 1…

As ironically, Seven times World Champion Michael Schumacher’s decision to return to the cockpit after an enforced three year sabbatical comes on the heels of his manager Willi Weber 200% categorically denying that his charge, Herr Schumacher… Or as David Hobbs enjoys putting it, Ralph Schumacher’s brother would NOT be returning to race in Formula 1 anytime soon, just 24hrs prior.

The 40yr old German will undergo an intense training regiment, prior to being given the go-ahead to stand in for Felipe Massa at next month’s European Grand Prix in Valencia, Spain. (Ah SHEISA! Where’s my G5 when I need it, eh? Having not seen the Terminator since his glorious victory, becoming the very first five time winner at Indianapolis in 2006…)

“Schuey,” who hasn’t driven competitively since 2006, nor having driven this year’s recalcitrant Ferrari F60 chassis, will most likely be given special compensation to test prior to racing in Spain, which should help the promoter’s immeasurably, if the Renault penalty stands.

Michael Schumacher:
"The most important thing first: thank God, all news concerning Felipe is positive. I wish him all the best again. I was meeting this afternoon with Stefano Domenicali and Luca di Montezemolo, and together we decided that I will prepare myself to take the place of Felipe. Though it is true that the chapter of Formula 1 has been completely closed for me for a long time, it is also true that for loyalty reasons to the team I cannot ignore that unfortunate situation. But as the competitor I am, I also very much look forward to facing this challenge."
(Source: Grandprix.com)

The HEAT is ON!

So, the movie title “Sleepless in Seattle” took on a whole new meaning last evening… As we’re not accustomed to temperatures exceeding 80 degrees up here, as the entire Pacific Northwest is in the midst of a HEAT WAVE!

Yeah Jeffey, I know that Arizona is HOTTER then most of the Country, but as I mentioned before, the majority of us, including your Humble Scribe do NOT have Air conditioning… As most meteorologists proclaim that Seattle’s weather is never below ZERO or OVER 100 degrees, and traditionally our summer doesn’t begin until July 12th.

Thus, after an abysmal day of record setting temperatures, with a high of 97, it was still sufficiently stuffy around 1AM, and now we’re expecting to potentially break the ALL time HIGH temperature record of 100 degrees set back on July 20, 1994… Which I seem to recall spending the day sweltering away at Randall’s Barbeque Party, resplendent with a special guest appearance by Andy and The Swans who triumphantly parachuted their way into the shin-dig… Talk ‘bout crashing a party, literally, eh?

And we’re expecting to set another record of six straight days above 90 degrees, due in large part to the stagnant weather conditions in California, so TANK’s a lot Awnie! As now, I’ve gotta go cool off and try to find a piece of the pool not infested with “Chitlen’s” Yuhs here’s? As will we hit 101 today? Somebody pass me a Cold ‘Juan! 'Cause it's too DAMN HOT to be scribbling any more stories...

HEAT WAVE puts High pressure on Weather Forecasters

BMW Sauber Quitting F1!

Holy Wienersnitzel Batman! Talk about “The Ultimate Bombshell!” As I awoke this morning from a fretful night ‘O Sleep to the AP Newswire report that BMW has decided to QUIT Formula 1 at the end of the 2009 season… SHEISA!

As the Munich Companies Management Board Chairman Dr. Norbert Reithofer, has claimed that the current Economic conditions in F1 are simply too great and that the Firm will utilize the financial resources of the team to concentrate instead on Sustainability and Environmental compatibility, as BMW re-aligns its priorities… As its awfully hard to swallow the thought that some Old Codger with an infinity for Kraut Fralein’s was correct over the possibilities that Honda’s shock withdrawal wouldn’t be the last of the big Auto Manufacturer’s, Zieg Heil!

Yet, most pundits seemed to think that Toyota was the most likely candidate to follow its Honda rival out of the sport and I for one certainly didn’t see this coming from BMW Sauber, especially with the current rumours making the rounds that Renault is potentially on the chopping block and a sell of the team to a Russian Tycoon is immanent. Albeit the team’s dismal performance this season; as obviously, this will put BMW Sauber’s lead driver, the “Krakow Kid” (Robert Kubica) to the head of the line in the 2010 Driver market, either as Felipe Massa’s or Heikki Kovalainen’s replacement, or perhaps Barrichello or Trulli’s? As you’d have to say that BRAWN, Ferrari, McLaren and Toyota are the top teams available, as Renault is a wild card at the moment.

Things probably aren’t quite as rosy for “Quick Nick” (Heidfeld) who is getting a bit long in the tooth and seems to be mostly out shadowed by Kubica. Yet, with the arrival of three new Constructors next year, an experienced F1 Piloto would be of great value.

And with the lightly reported signing of a new Concorde Agreement just concluded, how does BMW’s decision affect this, will an attempt be made to sell the team and will BMW incur any monetary repercussions? Stay tuned, as the Formula 1 landscape continues its bumpy ride.

And never fear Meesh, your man Bobby Rahal’s ALMS GT2 program isn’t affected, nor is the Formula BMW and all other Motorsports activities not associated with F1…

Budapest Bash

Obviously, I wasn’t expecting to watch “Live,” via the Memorex the Horrific looking Shunt Scuderia Ferrari’s Felipe Massa incurred during the “Q2 Qualie” session at the Hunga-Boring (Hungaroring) circuit this past Saturday; seeming quite eerie to watch the images of Massa’s Ferrari F60’s “Lump” revving away while firmly implanted into the Turn 4 Tyre barrier!

And although I either lost the video tape or failed to record it, as I’ve mentioned before that I was preoccupied in “Los Wages” that horrible weekend in Imola, referred to as “Black Sunday!” When two F1 Piloto’s lost their lives and very nearly a third, I must say that Massa’s incident immediately conjured up images of Ayrton Senna’s tragic accident, along with ex-Toyota F1 Piloto “Shorty’s” (Cristiano Da Matta) horrible testing shunt at Road America, as I silently muttered to myself that Massa’s DONE! As in his race career is kaput… (Which obviously I hope I’m completely WRONG about).

Sportscenter SUCKS!
Saturday afternoon, while still without my Confuzer, Indiana Bureau Chief Danny B called at 13:43 (1:43PM) wanting to know if I’d heard the news about Felipe Massa? Yeah, I watched the whole BLOODY thing this morning… But they said he’s Ok… Well actually the ESPN “Ticker” says that Massa’s suffered Life threatening injuries but is in Stable condition; which seems like a bit of an Oxy-Moron to Mwah.

So, I did a quick scurry around the Newswires, via my very appreciated Newslind for the Blind telephone service, which enables me to listen to 250+ Newspapers from all 50 States, yet could only find reports of the initial accident, echoing SPEED’s coverage reporting that Massa was Ok after having been removed by stretcher and that Rubens Barrichello had talked to him in the infirmary… With AP News claiming that Barrichello had reported Massa’s Ok, moving his arms but is highly agitated… (To which I’m now wondering if the FIA pulled another Senna? Taking Massa away from the Hungaroring without divulging his true status?)

Next, “Mr. Carpets” (Dave) called at 16:00 (4PM) also asking if I’d seen the ESPN Ticker’s news about Massa’s condition? Aw, CRAP! Now I’m gonna have to watch ESPN’s Freakin’ Sportscenter at 8PM (Pacific)

And yeah, I know it’s a FRILLIN’ Stick ‘N Ball Channel… BUTT CRACKERS!!! I had to endure 34 minutes of their dribble before getting to the story I cared about; SHEISA!

As first we were FORCED to watch endless minutes of “ ROID BOYZ,” As the Talking Bobble-heads blathered on ‘N on ‘bout ‘dem Boyz ‘O Summer, (Baseball) the Nationwide race recap, a ditty ‘bout Mark “Old Spice” Martin’s affliction for ‘Old School WRAPPERS like Snoopy Doggy Dog. HELL! Even Lance Armstrong and Le Tour de Farce got preferential billing…

But what about Felipe-eh?

Then back to more Base-em ball tiddlywinks and a rather entertaining interview on the Brickyard’s Tarmac with “SMOKE” (Tony Stewart) and ‘Ol Super Tex, (AJ Foyt) as Foyt tossed out multiple One-liners about tony which caused him to laugh quite a bit… Before the announcer read from the Telepromter: Ferrari’s Felipe Massa sustains Life threatening injuries in crash, but is in Stable condition; SHEISA! I already knew that, as they replayed footage from Qualifying with Barrichello’s errant rear “Heave” spring circled as it hurtled towards the totally unsuspecting Massa! As later, somewhere in the multitude of reporting I heard that the force of impact against Felipe’s helmet was estimated at 1,600 pounds… Ah, SHIT! That cannot be good, eh?

And thus afterwards I jumped back on the blower and found an updated AP story giving further insight into Felipe’s tenuous condition, which he’s now making remarkable gains from, having recently heard that he’s now answering the Doctor’s in three languages and most likely will walk out of the Budapest Military Hospital in around 10 days… As obviously I hope for the best, especially since the 28yr old Brazilian has just previously announced his wife’s pregnancy as they’re expecting their first child in November.

Massa update

Brazilian Trifecta?

Perhaps Apex Brasilia will wish to rethink its overabundance of advertising after this past weekends NOT so good fortunes thrust upon three of its “Mega” Sports Stars…

As we’re all aware of, first off Felipe Massa suffered a horrific shunt eerily reminiscent of Ayrton’s, which thankfully it appears he’ll survive. Next up was “TK; Follow your Nose Super Schunaaz’s” very scary incident in Edmonton, Canada… When Tony Kanaan’s car caught on fire during a pit stop, of which ‘Ol Mad Dog TK seemingly has escaped without any serious injuries and has already stated he’ll be racing this Saturday night in Kentucky! Certainly was nice to see the Penske, Panther and TCGR Boyz all quickly come to Tony’s rescue, eh?

And then lastly, Football, Err Soccer Superstar Cristiano Ronaldo, who apparently just got a “Mega” multi-millions ($107m) 6yr deal, (which will see the 24yr old Foot baller earning 33 times more then the average Spaniard) to transfer to Real Madrid from Manchester United, broke two bones in his wrist during only his second outing with his new squad on Sunday.

And somebody’s been telling me of how bad things happen in Three’s, so hopefully Brazil’s outta the woods for awhile, eh?

Renault penalized

In the wake of the past two Open Wheel accidents involving Henry surtees and Felipe Massa, Renault has been handed a one race suspension by the FIA after Hungarian GP pole sitter Fernando Alonso’s front wheel departed his R29 and went careening down the race track, after apparently not having its wheel nut attached properly during the team’s first pit stop.

The ban is to be served during the next race, the European Grand Prix in Valencia, Spain, which happens to be one of two races promoting the Spanish racing star and two time World Champion…

Talk about a race promoter’s nightmare, eh? Uhm, Mr. Ecclestone, I’d really like to be able to recoup some of the millions I’ve paid you to host your F1 circus, could you please give Maxie a ring and see if he can do something?

Of course, perhaps the Country’s sanctioning body could instruct Renault to pull a Benetton… As my memory seems to recall that a one Michael Schumacher was enabled to race in his home Grand Prix (Hockenheim) under an appeal of his previous race ban for having passed Damon Hill on the warm-up lap in Britain, some 15 years ago. As this penalty does indeed seem to be the knee jerk reaction that Ross Brawn cautioned against…

Good luck Flavur Flav (Briatore) in getting your “Home Boy” reinstated… Hmm? And rumours suggest that Renault’s number two driver Nelson Piquet Jr. is outta a ride, so who’ll be driving the “Reggie’s” cars in Valencia, eh?

Massa recovering

I’ll scribble a full story tomorrow, now that I’ve spent the past 3hrs trying to get my first two stories posted on my No Fenders site… But fortunately I can report that it appears that Felipe Massa is recovering from his Horrific shunt during “Q2” Qualifying Saturday for the Hungarian Grand Prix…

Massa recovery update

No Fenders returns

Whale sorta, somewhat, may be?

As obviously it’s been a most turbulent thirteen days since I was last able to look at ze internets… As HURRAH! Computer Boffin Hank has finally returned my CPU Unit along with its myriad of Software, reattached all of the various cables and re-established contact with those Oh-So? Important functions, i.e.; internets, email and MS Word…

And although Hank returned my unit with all of my (Whale 85% of my Desktop icons/programs intact), it returned with Paul speaking monotone, which made me wonder; “Where’s Lucy?”

Whale perhaps I should quit speaking this way in deference to the Princess’s (NO! NOT Princess Danicker’s…) Starfire Breeze Cruise liner that arrived in Vancouver BC’s Port with a DEAD Whale impelled upon the ships bow…

Cruise Ship arrives in Vancouver BC with Dead Whale

Thus, I had to re-install “Lucy” my esteemed Screen Reader, who GAWD Knows what She’s been doing on Holiday or whom she’s been cavorting about the World Wide Web thingy the past two weeks, eh?

Yet, alas, having to have my win-DOUGHs Operating System re-installed means that many of my customized screen settings, etc are now ALL thoroughly scrambled, along with having not gotten Hank to re-install my printer’s scanner icon, having a few technical issues inside Outlook Express, including missing text fonts and two thirds of my Address book… Which means it’ll take me a little time to set up everything and re-adjust to the “Confuzer” world… Along with giving Mozilla/Firefox a try out, since Hank claims that almost all of his clients whom get viruses come via micro-SOFT’s win-DOUGH’s internets EXPLODER… Which is apparently where I caught the bug that now has me trying to return to my previous settings… As I’ve just noticed another annoying feature of running Blogger thru Mozilla, as in it doesn’t read text inside the box and apparently doesn’t default to my text’s format… Which could be very DANGEROUS for my readers, eh?

Yet, when after nearly two hours of scribbling this post and fumbling my way around trying to reset my screen settings, when I hit the POST button while utilizing Mozilla, it said the Meeda function something-a-other… And would NOT publish this mesmerizing story… Then when I switched back to the EVIL micro-SOFT IE browser and opened up the post, it was completely scrambled into MONSTER MEGAVISION, Err SUPER sized font/text; all of this going on while we’re in the midst of a HEAT wave as we venture into the unusual territory of a BLISTERING stretch of 94+ (97-100?) Deg F for the next four days… And NO! WE DON’T HAVE ANY STINKIN’ Air Conditioning up here Jeffey! So it’s gonna be a real doozy tryin’ to get back up to speed, eh?

But Hey! I’ll take this problema ANY day over what poor Felipe Massa is enduring at the moment! Which fortunately he seems to be mending nicely…

Tech Trouble

Once again we are unfortunately experiencing technical difficulties and therefore the author of this blog, Mr. Tomaso, is without a confuzer while his is in the shop for repairs.

He will be returning to action in the very near future so check back at your leisure.

Posted by Blogmiester in Arizona.

Is Bourdais gone from F1?

Whale hopefully this afternoon I’ll finally be able to watch the rebroadcast of this weekend’s German GP from the Vunderbar Nurburgring... As it’s been BLOODY HELL! Not being able to surf that web thingy... Listen to any Sporting News, etc while awaiting the chance to watch the latest GP, although I did take several sneak peaks around the Blogosphere; Indy Car sites only...

And thus the hot topic seemed to be The Hamburgular’s unceremonious (disposal) from Scuderia Toro Rosso after another rough outing in Der Fatherland, as multiple sites reported upon 19yr old Spaniard Jaime Alguersuari, having just been promoted to STR’s Reserve Driver status,
Making Comments to the AP claiming that Sea Bass has been dumped in favour of the Spanish teenager who’ll make his Formula 1 debut at the Hunga-Boring (Hungarian GP) race in just under a Fortnight’s time...

If this is true, then I’m not impressed in the way Red Bull made its decision to not step up to the plate and make an Official announcement. Then again, is this the workings of an over imaginative Spanish press?

Yet, if the rumours are true, which I’ve not been able to peruse the F1 landscape yet as I DON’T wanna know the races winner before watching the replay... Then speculation suggests that Bore-Dais could potentially make a return to Indy Cars, a la Dario Franchitti... Albeit to a different team? As let’s recall that The Hamburgular was up against supposedly stiff competition from “Taku” (Takuma Sato) for his seat at Toro Rosso, as Taku-san reportedly had major amounts of Yen behind him, while as far as I know Mr. Bourdais had no major sponsorship backing... Yet kept his seat in the long run; thus I personally hope that NHLR will NOT punt Bad Bobby D (Doornbos) from his seat, but instead, a very savvy Jimmy Vasser would be wise to pick up the ex-multiple Champ Car Champion who could definitely teach Mario “BUTTERFINGERS” Moraes a thing or two, eh? Or Egads! Perhaps even Bobby Rahal could resurrect his dormant IRL team? Then again Sea Bass is quite intent to win the 24 Heurs du Mans for his home based Peugeot squad, so who knows where The Hamburgular will ultimately end up at, eh?

Hmm? Could he potentially become Dan-Dan-Danicker’s replacement at AGR? Or could Gil De Ferran start an all French Indy Car team next year? You make the call...

Munn-Dae the 13th

I LUV the SMELL ‘O BURNT ELECTRONS IN THE MORNING! (DON’T UZE?)

What’s that song about NOT liking Monday’s, eh?

Whale... Le Super Confuzer just keeps getting Stranger ‘N Stranger... As I’m still awaiting a call back from my supposed Super Confuzer Boffin; as we’ve now been playing telephone tag for nearly 2wks... Yet this morning I was alerted by another FRILLIN’ micro-SOFT green ERROR box that My Serious Error had been fixed... As an apparent Driver issue; NO! NOT Tomaso the esteemed “Driver” of this delectable Racing BLOB! But some sorta Driver issue inside the Super Confuzer of which of course I’m totally unaware of how to remedy... So I’m just sittin’ around waitin’ for it to come back around... As good ‘Ol Arlo Gutherie sings in Alice’s Restaurante... Yep, I’m just waitin’ for Hank’s telephone call to come around... And hopefully finally schedule a date to get the kinks worked outta der micro-SOFT Operating System Ja Volt!

Thus, I’ve still not begun watching the 4.5hrs of Memorex tape I recorded over the weekend prior to tomorrow’s re-airing of the German GP... Nor have I bothered yet to read Jeffrey’s Live Blog of the Toronto Indy Car race... Whale Otay! I did take a sneak peak last evening and got all the way past Hulio the Dancin’ Fool CRYING a river ‘O Crocodile Tears over being blocked in Qualifying; WHAHHHHHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! Nice try Keanu! And then I got up to Lap 1 where NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Will Power apparently has pulled off course due to a cut tyre; Aye Karumba!

So please be patient while I play Ketsup from all of my gallivanting about along with still awaiting Confuzer service, as I’ll try to wade thru all of my neglected emails shortly...

Oh yeah, just received notice that my power will be out all day Wednesday as our Utility Company will be replacing a bad power pole...

Gratzi,
Tomaso

On the Road again

I tells yuhs, this traveling’ stuff is getting a bit carried away... As I’ve been on the go nonstop the past week plus... Having stayed up nearly a whole day after returning from Jolly ‘Ol London, where to insipient ‘Ol NUTTER’s reside! As in Emperor Bernardo and his whipping boy Sir maXXum...

Then as Y’all know my Soup-er Confuzer (computer) began rearing its ugly head and mysteriously quit working altogether... Before I managed to re-power it up nearly a week later while awaiting my trek to La Conner... Before a blast down to Tacoma and now I’m off to somewhere south of Portland, Oregon for the next few dazes... Y’all recall that Portland’s the place where they used to have some fantastic CART/Champ Car races on Father’s Day weekend... As ironically I think the Portland Hystericals (Historics) are being held this weekend?

Meanwhile the Soup’er Confuzer is still working sporadically, along with having another spell of the Bleu DEATH RAY micro-SOFT ERROR screen, before coming back to life for the moment and a Computer “Boffin” (Technician) will finally arrive sometime on Monday to assess the perilous plight of Tomaso’s Super Confuzer machine...

Anyways, please forgive the sporadicness of my recent posts and not having replied to anyone’s emails as I’ve simply been unable to spend any significant time staring at the bleuish-green hue of le confUZer!

Gotta run, here comes the Ice Cream Man...

Coyne Cashes in!

Of course thanks to my COMsPAZDICK Dig It Tull coverter box and the fact that I can now only record one channel at a time on the trusty ‘Ol School VCR of which I can still read the On Screen menu for... I was forced to choose between the Watkins Glen Indy Car race or Wind Tunnel of which I was hoping for a somewhat longer segment with Robin Miller instead of just being the last call; in regards to Tony G’s ouster... And thus of course I missed the chance to see history being made as: Little Team finally makes Good! With the never quitting Dale Coyne claiming his maiden Indy Car victory after a combined 558 starts in 25 years of CART/Champ Car and Indy Car competition... As Justin “BIG UNIT” Wilson simply kicked some BLOODY ARSE! By scoring his second Indy Car victory and sixth overall Champ Car/Indy Car victory... As I’m still quite disappointed that they haven’t combined the two series statistics; albeit I suppose this didn’t occur when Championship Auto Racing Teams took over USAC’s previously held top step in Open wheel Racing, eh?

Thus as Robin Miller noted in his post race interview with Justin; He’s now won RuSport’s inaugural victory, Paul Newman’s very last win as a team owner for N/H/L/R along with garnering Dale Coyne’s debut victory in the big leagues... So Congrats to Dale coyne, Justin Wilson, Bill Papis and everybody at DCR!

Bernie, You Stink!

So after having being caught off guard recently regarding Uncle Bernaughty’s unbelievably MORONIC comments about Der Fuhrer... I’m simply shocked over this latest lack of total sense upon the part of one Mr. Bernard Ecclestone... Who I’ve become quite tired of his whimsical naughty zingers... As I’m past finding his English wit to be even somewhat amusing; as I simply find NO room whatsoever to even bring up Adolf’s name even in jest... As perhaps Uncle Bernaughty should either read the book or go watch the film; both by the same title:

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas

Of which ironically I just learned about from the Woman’s Kraft’s group held on Thursday mornings near Wimbledon while upon Holiday in London.

And thus I can only look forward to the soon(?) approaching day when Emperor Bernardo and Sir maXXum both wither off into the sunset and go live someplace quiet, preferably underneath a large bolder or three; perhaps a nice beachside Bungalow on the Falklands Isles, eh?

Hitler? He got things done, says Formula One chief Bernie Ecclestone

And although I’m seriously against any further Splits, especially after how the 13yr Civil War irreparably tarnished and seriously wounded the once mighty American Open wheel Racing scene... I for one now hope that FOTA will indeed walk away from the table and leave Max ‘N Bernie in their respective dust... Leaving the two Old Sods alone to sit in some Seaside Pub walloping their mistaken ways in some expensive bottle of Scotch or whatever spirits these two LOON’s enjoy indulging in...

Hey Uncle Bernaughty! Careful Mate, you might actually manage to piss off those CVC Banking Cronies you’re in cahoots with, eh?

Texas Two-step?

While Y’all already know the outcome of the past week’s Motor racing activities, i.e.; a bless-ed Indy Car road race instead of the previous BORING Oval’s... Not to mention what else has been occurring lately, as I’ve received an email about some Cats named Hitler, Hussein and Ecclestone... Of which I’ve still not figured out the inside joke, eh? Dave... As Mary Ellen sez; aren’t you curious to know what that’s all about? As I’m not sure if this is what Dave’s alluding to?

Hitler, Mosley and other stories

As I’ve most definitely missed the interview with Emperor Bernardo and haven’t been keeping abreast of what the latest scandal in the English tabloids are... As I’m not really sure what exactly goin’ on in Ze Vurld der Motorsporten; Ja-Ja?

Thus, I’m off to hopefully watch the Telescreen’s recording of this past weekend’s Speed Report and Wind Tunnel with Ye ‘Ol Windbag extraordinaire himself... As I’m somewhat curious to see if ‘Ol Robin Miller who wasn’t wrong after all about Tony G. getting’ ze BOOT from his head honcho roles at IMS will have something clever to say? Not to mention which Red ‘N White car won Watkins Glen... Although it’d be hilarious if Mr. Chrome Horn pulled a rabbit out of his hat, eh? Some more blather to follow shortly... As it’s a veritable bonanza ‘O Family gatherings at the moment and apparently your Head Scribe Tomaso is in somewhat high demand, as most likely I’ll be off to BLOODY Tacoma tomorrow to make a brief visit at Auntie Harriet’s...

Meanwhile, here’s a little tidbit about that most amazing Texan Toranado from Austin named Lance... As in Lance Armstrong King of le Tour de France, wie-wie!

Armstrong shooting for Yellow?

The Empire Strikes again!

SO NOW I’M TOTALLY CORNFUSED! (SHUSH DANNY!) NO COMMENTS FROM THE PEANUT GALLEREY, KAPISHE!

As Y’all are aware of, hours after posting the story Strange Bedfellahs last Friday... In which I lashed out at Sir maXXum ‘N Emperor Bernardo for their efforts to dismantle the sport currently known as Formula 1... For reasons unknown my confUZer shut down completely with the ominous micro-SOFT bleu “Death Ray” ERROR message screen informing me that a problema had been detected in the win-DOUGHs Operating System and therefore the confUZer has been shut down to safeguard against any further damage to your system... If you (feel you’ve reached this message erroneously!) are receiving this warning for the first time then please contact your System Administrator... Uh, YO Mr. Wizard ‘O Oz... I am the flippin’ System Administrator, Chief Bottle Washer, Head Scribe and Lead Satirist...

Any-hoo, for humour this morning while awaiting my private limousine to La Conner, WA for 4th ‘O July festivities, (where I’ll be on Holiday thru next Monday-Tuesday...) I simply disconnected the phone line and powered up the Beast... Which wallah? WTF?!!!!!!!!!!? Is now working... Albeit there’s still quite a funny start-up procedure occurring every time I log on, so I’m totally bamboozled at the moment to the exact status of my confUZer, which I’ll most likely have checked out next week by a Computer “Boffin,” Err Technician just to make sure I can return to providing more riveting stories ‘O Yore next week, eh? Now Quick!!! Back-up all of my mesmerizing MS Word Files, Ja Volt! As its such an odd feeling to be away from ze confUZer for another week, eh?

Happy Fourth ‘O July Y’all!
Tomaso