Hopefully this weekend’s outing in Valencia; Spain will be less spectacular then the previous “Hunga-boring” race, which unfortunately was fraught with chaos… With the passing of Henry Surtees just one week earlier, Massa’s horrifying accident and Alonso’s errant tyre episode all unraveling prior to Michael Schumacher’s intended comeback…
So isn’t it ironic, how Professor (Steve) Matchett spent a considerable amount of time during Friday’s practice coverage prior to Felipe Massa’s horrifying accident in Saturday’s qualifying trying to figure out what BMW Sauber was running on the front nose section just forward of the cockpit… At first thinking it was a timing monitor stand forgotten, before guessing perhaps the team was running some sort of 2010 “Aero bits,” to which Peter Winsor agreed with, as both speculated that the Swiss-German team may be trying to get a jump upon next year’s design which will change once again with the mandatory abolishment of in-race refueling.(Of course I’d hazard to say it was something left on the car by accident, since BMW has now pulled the plug on their F1 team, which makes me doubt they’ve been spending any time or money on next year’s chassis.
As you may be aware of? During the final moments of Q3 Pole session qualifying the Timing & Scoring inexplicably malfunctioned and we along with the SPEED commentators were left wondering who’d won the Pole. As I simply laughed out loud at their quips…
Bob Varsha) At the worst possible moment we’ve lost Timing & Scoring.
David Hobbs)Oh jolly good!
Varsha: On a Dark ‘N Stormy night…
Steve Matchett) A Shot rang out in the Town’s Square… (As Varsha bursts into laughter).
Varsha: Perhaps Vettel’s on Pole? May Be? Perhaps Hamilton’s done it? Perhaps NOT! Ok, Fernando could be P1? May be Nico’s done it? Oh please Mr. Director-man.
As the session ends we’re suddenly treated to a live camera following Alonso around as he ‘N JENSE discuss their relative times according to their in-car telemetry… Before “Fredrico Suave” (Alonso) drops an F-Bomb as the audio mikes pick up Ferdi saying FUCK Man, I’ve got a 21.5…
Matchett: Sorry ‘bout that outburst, as our microphones shouldn’t have caught that.
And as we’re treated to all of the drivers standing around and being weighed, as Nico Rosberg and ‘ZEBB (Sebastian Vettel) seem to be quite amused by Alonso’s antics…
Varsha: Careful Boyz, there’s NO laughing allowed in Parc Ferme, its “Verbotten” by the FIA!
Hobbs: C’mon Bernie… Spend some of your (FRILLIN’) money on the Timing & Scoring!
Varsha: Don’t worry Boyz, drinks are on Bernie… Perhaps NOT?
And thus we finally have the top three finishers revealed, with Alonso on Pole, Vettel second and Mark Webber third, who has to be summoned to the Post-race interview…
So it was a most surreal Hunga-Boring weekend, as first qualifying was delayed by 20min due to Massa’s shunt, then Timing & Scoring was lost and ultimately Renault would be penalized for Alonso’s front tyre coming adrift and bouncing down the Tarmac, while Lewis Hamilton would go on to score McLaren’s and his first win of the year and the very first victory ever for a chassis fitted with the much ballyhooed KERS system.
And now after a month’s break can F1 return to normality? Will BRAWN GP bounce back, will Red Bull continue to close in upon the World Championships, or will a red car spoil Alonso’s party…
Now I’ve gotta go watch the Friday tape…
