So You wanna build a Street course?

Then you may wish to check out the NY Times story below over what are just some of the items being carried out to host the inaugural Baltimore GP this upcoming weekend...

As although I’ve known about the constant Problema’s loose manhole covers can cause, as I had to search the Internetz to confirm my hazy recollections of a Porsche Panzerwagon, nee the All-mighty 962 being destroyed by said manhole cover - recalling it being a Walter Brun entry...

As this significant accident did indeed occur during the 1990 World Sports Prototype Championship round for the FIA’s Group C Sports Cars being held on Il Notre Dam, aka Circuit Gilles Villeneuve - and occurred on lap-59 when Brun’s 962C with Jesus Pareja at the Keyboard struck a portion of a loose Manhole cover that had been extricated by a competitor ahead of Pareja.

When Jesus struck the debris, it punctured his Porsche’s fuel tank which promptly caused the stricken 962C to immediately burst into flames - with the chassis ultimately being written off, although Jesus was saved by track marshals and emerged unscathed...

Adding further insult to injury, Walter Brun who was Jesuses co-driver that day saw a sister team car also damaged in the ‘Mont-royal event, of witch Brun threatened to institute legal action against the race organizers... And then for further insult - Brun’s Sports Car team was obliged to write off another chassis at the following race outing in Mexico, although NO word on whether or not Jesus was driving that day? (Hmm? Why do I feel a Larry The Cable Guy moment coming on here...)

As the name Walter Brun may ring a bell if you’re an Oldtimer F1 Aficionado like your Humble No Fenders Scribe is. As Messer Brun was half of the Minnowesqe EuroBrun Formula 1 racing team in name and partnership ‘circa 1988-90, before the F1 Constructor’s demise. As Messer Brun himself was an accomplished Sports Car driver back in-the-day - winning a few races aboard his various 956/962 entries...

But back to our be-LUV-ed Manhole covers, eh? Which have caused a number of accidents, including the still publicly unresolved incident with Sergio Perez at Sepang - at the beginning of this season; when said unidentified object destroyed his Sauber’s floor and necessitated a new monocoque tub being flown out to Shanghai... Not to mention poor ‘Rubino’s (Barrichello) contretemps at thee Principality (Monaco) last year. Or how  ‘bout ‘ANT’s (Anthony Davidson) Up Close & Personal encounter with some sorta furry critter aboard his Super Best Friends racecar during the 2007 ‘Kuhnadiun Grand Prix; ZOINKS! As Meesh would say, eh?

Canadian Beaver

And I also seem to recall manhole covers being a problema during Detroit’s Formula 1 days as well, not to mention the rare occurrence of M “N M’s (Mario Moraes) KV Racing Technology IndyCar sucking out one of  the Speedway’s famous bricks during a 2009 practice session; CRIKEYS!

So good luck Baltimore, as there’s obviously a little more involved in just lining the circuit’s public streets with Jersey barriers...

Baltimore Fixes Its Streets for 175mph Speed Limit

Thanxs to the all knowing Keith Collantine of F1 Fanatic for providing the definitive answer upon Manhole Cover STOPS race! Which you can read/check out pictures by clicking here.

Le Quintet’s ‘Tailz - Five Females on Different Career Paths...

While ‘Symona-Symona, aka Simona de Silvestro was apparently stuck in Switzerland - unable to re-enter the good ‘Ol usa - still seems like something funny’s going on there, eh? Like go home ‘N rest Simona; we’ll try ‘N get Symone Pagenoe to drive your portly ’03-spec  Dallara ride we christened “Porkchop!”

Thus, while thee Numero Uno female racing Star was busy languishing at the tail end of the Caboose ALL day long at Sonoma’s IndyCar race, as DannaWho? Finished a paltry 21^st; the following story was sent to Mwah by AZ Bureau Chief MJ - who knows of my great appreciation of Danicker; Hya! As its pretty sad what the Head Coach of the Tennessee Volunteers, the Lady Vol’s Pat Summitt is experiencing, having just gone public with her diagnosis of Early Onset Dementia, a form of the life threatening Alzheimer’s disease...

Pat Summitt's substance will outlast Danica Patrick's style

Meanwhile on a happier note - 17yr old female Motorcycle sensation Elena Myers was invited by Suzuki to test one of its MOTO GP bikes on Thursday at the Speedway, where Elena ran five Demonstration laps - with a top speed of 190mph being recorded on the front straight!

Then on Friday, Shelina Moreda was set to make some more Indianapolis Motor Speedway history by becoming the very first ever female to compete in a Motorcycle race there, where she was set to contest the AMA Pro Vance & Hines (Harley Davidson) XR1200 support race...

So wadda Yuhs know - Two more females have done Somme-thun Danica hasn’t; Hya!

AMA rider Shelina Moreda will be 1st woman to race motorcycle at IMS

CORRECTION: No Fenders Bobbles over the Two Adams

Recently I scribbled a story about whether or not The Car Show was a Pour KNOCKOFF of Top Gear... Which I still say is the case. Yet, unfortunately I didn’t manage to grasp that although both The Car Show and Top Gear USA have hosts with the first names of Adam in them... I’d not caught the fact that The Car show is hosted by Adam Carolla, whilst Top Gear USA is co-hosted by Adam Ferrara; OOPS! And in the immortal words of that horrific slang phrase: MY BAD!

Thus, this would explain why Adam Ferrara is FUNNY and Adam Carolla is NOT! My apologies to Messer Ferrara!

Celebrity Drives: Adam Ferrara – Top Gear USA

Willy T returns to Cockpit...

According to Grizzled ‘Journo Joe Saward, Willy T. Ribbs will be making a comeback of sorts at the forthcoming Baltimore IndyCar race - where Ribbs will make a ‘One-off appearance in the Indy Lights event to help showcase his fledgling Indy Lights team in hopes of furthering primary driver Case Austin’s career...

Willy T is back!

Triple ‘S Power Play: Spa, ‘Scooters and Sonoma

Giorgio Pantano at Silverstone; GP2, 2008 (source: f1fanatic.co.uk)

Whew! What a HARD Day at the No Fenders Office; Hya! Starting off the morning by watching le Memorex - a fairly frenetic Belgian Grand Prix, which I managed to finish just one quarter hour before the “live” Moto GP race from the Speedway began... Then a lunch break followed with the afternoon’s ‘Nightcap - a nice bottle or three of Napa Valley Chardonnay from the Wine Country’s Sears Point Raceway in Sonoma...

And although there apparently was some “Argie-Bargie” goin’ on with the top teams over having to start on their blistered rubber, (Pirelli’s) the Stewards said Play On Boyz! NOT to be Cornfuzed with that much cherished Have At It Boyz! Wail that’s a major racing Battle-cry over here Stateside, eh?

Thus, it was somewhat poetic that Herr Schumacher - who a mighty fuss was  being made over this weekend started dead last after his rear tyre departed him on his very first ‘Out-lap of the Q1 ‘Qualie session... Hmm? Here’s your Sign Michael! It’s time to move along to your Senior’s Tour outing in DTM. Although Schuey did display some of his old majik by finishing fifth...

Yet there was a very scary accident that brought out the Safety Car when Louise ‘JAGUAR Hamilton clouted the tire wall with a mighty bang after having not quite cleared the lurking ‘K-SQUARED’s (Kamui Kobayashi) Sauber; to which thankfully Hamilton walked away from unscathed!

But the day once again belonged to Pole Sitter Master ‘Zebb, aka Sebastian Vettel, who becomes just the fourth driver to win from Pole the past 12-starts; joining the likes of Mika-the-Finn; (Hakkinen) 2000, M. Schumacher; 2002 and The Iceman; (Kimi Raikkonen) 2007. As Vettel stretches his virtually unassailable Points lead over second place teammate  Mark Webber  to 92 - with everybody else ‘Scrumming over third!

Next up, I enjoyed watching the ‘Scooters, nee Moto GP brigade terrorize the Brickyard - as those hand built Prototype Motorcycles are absolutely outta this world, while their respective Jockeys are FREAKIN’ INSANE! Hanging their bodies halfway off the bike to aid its direction whilst dancing with the Devil, Err brakes - from 200mph at the end of the long straight while diving into corner one; SHEISA!

And although Captain ‘kOOL, nee Ben Spies was nearly the fastest all week; Whale Ok, second quick to the ‘Aussie (Casey) Stoner - who broke the track record in qualifying... Unfortunately Spies pulled a Mark Webber-ish like start and dropped from P2 to P9 at the end of lap-1 before recovering to capture the final podium step in third place. As NOBODY could keep up with Stoner and his Honda who won by 5-seconds over teammate Dani Pedrosa enroute to becoming only the second rider ever to win both Laguna Seca and Indy in the same year - “The Doctor” (Valentino Rossi) being the first.

Then with the vino suitably chilled; Hya! It was time to switch on the IndyCar Boyz at sleepy ‘lil Sonoma, where it was a pretty somber race, with the Captain’s Men (Roger Penske) having swept the Top-3 grid positions in qualifying with Will Power on Pole, ‘HULIO (Castro-nervous) alongside in P2 and Ryan Briscoe in third place with current IndyCar Points leader Dashley LePew (Dario Franchitti) starting fourth.

And the “Toowoomba Toranadoe,” or DJ WillyP (according to Jeffie of One Lap Down...) clearly showed his Will Power this weekend by virtually leading Flag-to-Flag except for Pitstop rotations - enroute to a maximum point’s tally of 53-markers to cut Dario’s lead to 26-points. As contrary to Kevin Lee’s gaff in Victory lane, it was the first Penske 1-2-3 clean sweep of the podium since Nazareth, PA on November 28, 1994 - NOT 1944; OOPS! As perhaps ’44 is Kevin’s birth year?

Meanwhile Castroneves went Hollywood again during his runner-up interview with a PATHETIC cue-card Tinkle Toes tap dance of a man desperately trying to renew his Penske Racing contract... Whilst I spent the whole afternoon SHOUTIN’ ATTA BOY RYAN! For Briscoe holding off Franchitti... As its kinda funny how Mike  “Yippee-aye-Eh!” King mentioned Saturday on the IMS Radio Network broadcast how this was Target’s coming out party with 400 members on hand to see the two red cars hopefully finish 1-2; so take ‘Dat ‘Cheep; Hya! NO word if Power can apply the $10k Pole cheque to his double fisted BillyBob Brazenheartz fine? (Cymbol crash please...)

Oh, and by the way, although I was rootin’ for “Symone Pagenoe” (Simon Pagenaud) who keeps getting thrown into the DEEP END! Uh, Simon can you catch a plane Thursday night from Barcelona to fill in for ‘Simona-Simona (de Silvestro) Friday morning? Who somehow managed to not have her Visa approved for re-entry to California from Switzerland; WTF?

And thus; How ‘bout Dat Giorgio Pantano, eh? Six years since he’d been in a  very different Indy Car chassis; a ‘05-spec Panoz-Toyota, running two road courses for the recently sacked Darren “DangerMouse” Manning at TCGR. Along with reputedly being two years since he’d driven anything at all - last contesting the European Superleague series in 2009...

As Pantano did a Yeoman’s job for the injured Justin ‘BIG UNIT Wilson, even applying the coup de grâce - a signature Chrome Horn appliqué upon le Hamburgular, a.k.a. Sebastian Bourdais in the final laps to come home “Best-in-Class” (P6) behind the three Penske’s & two Ganassi’s; NICE JOB GIORGIO!

Dear Brian letter received...

Dear Tomaso,

               It is my understanding that you have been pushing for an IndyCar race at your "Home” track at Portland for several years now. Yet after careful scrutinizing we at the IZOD Indy Car Series have determined that the track conditions there are always too WET to EVER drop a green flag there again. 

Meanwhile, In this time of continuously scrutinizing IndyCar Officiating - we must also advise you that no way in HELL would we ever consider having a race there in your own state for you Washingtonian WANKERS!

Thus, just to set the record straight: Will Power of Team Penske was directing his (Double Byrd) gestures last Sunday towards you, not at me, when he was asked if he would like to race at Portland. 

Therefore, I suggest that you visit Austin, Texas instead for the upcoming Formula  1 race where dry conditions will be guaranteed...

Sincerely,

William B. Braveheartz

Chief Steward - IZOD Indy Car Series

Director of Competition - IZOD Indy Car Series

“Chairman at Large” Indy Racing League

Off to see Senna movie!

It has been a ‘Mega struggle to piece together when & where the Senna Documentary would be playing in the ‘Jet City, aka Seattle - as I’ve been waiting for this ever since it won the 2011 Sundance Film Festival’s Best Documentary award...

And I’m so jazzed ‘bout it, that I’ve had the forthcoming weekend blocked out for over 1-month now, as I’ve got tickets-for the very first screening - the Friday Matinee at Seattle’s Varsity theatre...

More Details on Senna; Lauda-Hunt movies revealed

Thus, I find it a tad bit karmic that upon Herr Schumacher’s Anniversary Party weekend - I’ll be seeing the late Ayrton Senna on the BIG screen - whale at least listening to him 17yrs after...

SENNA: Director’s Cut

DannaCarLand World Tour Commences - Take 2

Funny how the fine folks at ING & GoDaddy wanted the Spotlights ALL to themselves and hence; “Cough-Cough” Ahem, we’re having scheduling difficulties Wednesday when the Loudon RainGate debacle’s decision is being announced...

Thus, if Y’all are coming here to learn ‘bout where DannaWho will be touring in 2012 you’ve come to the WRONG blogsite, so move along ‘lil Doggies; Hya!

Ode to DannaCar

Schuey Buying a Round at Spa - 20yrs later

Whale, its certainly hard for me to fathom that it was twenty years ago today (8/25/91) that I sat in front of le Telescreen totally engrossed watching the very first Grand Prix start of DER TERMINATOR’s illustrious F1 career in arguably Juan ‘O Formula one’s BEST EVER looking chassis, the Irish Springs, Err Green Jordan 191 with 7up livery on its Airbox...

As a fresh faced 22yr old German by the name of Michael Schumacher set the World Ablaze with massive electrical BUZZ over his qualifying EJ’s mount on the fourth row of the grid in P7! Substituting for the freshly incarcerated French-Belgian Bertrand Gachot who’d assaulted a London Taxi Cab driver with CS Gas...

And although Schuey would only go some scant 100-yards before retiring with a broken clutch; to put things in perspective, ironically Ayrton Senna was on Pole in his McLaren-Honda with Alain Prost’s Ferrari alongside. Row-2 consisted of BLOODY ‘NIGE (Nigel Mansell) in the Williams-Renault and Gerhard Berger in the sister McLaren-Honda. Row-3 saw Jean Alesi in the second Ferrari with Nelson Piquet’s Benetton-Ford alongside - as FOUR World Champions (two 3-times, 1 4-timer and one Solitary plus another driver considered to be a World Champion...) were the only cars faster then the rookie Schumacher that Autumn day in the Arden forest.

And thus, the die had been cast - as Herr Schumacher was immediately snatched from Jordan’s hands by the insistence of Tom Walkinshaw telling Flavour Flav, now going by the moniker of HMS Briatore; CRIKEYS! You’d better sign this Chap PRONTO! And the rest was history as Michael’s very next race was driving for Benetton and leaving Jordan to prattle ‘round Monza with “Super Sub” Roberto Moreno instead.

Thus comes word that Michael will invite the entire Formula 1 Paddock over to the Mercedes GP Hospitality Hut for a drink to celebrate the 20^th Anniversary of said event; perhaps a nice, fresh Bitburger, Ja-Ja!

A Special Weekend Ahead For Schumacher

Bruno Senna returns

And whilst Herr Schumacher is celebrating his 20^th year in Grand Prix, word comes that the late Ayrton Senna’s nephew Bruno will replace the not-so ‘Quick Nick (Heidfeld) in the (Budapest BBQ) ‘Quicklite Renault this weekend at the mighty Spa, where ironically Ayrton started on Pole and won 20yrs ago for McLaren.

No word on whether or not Bruno will take over Heidfeld’s seat for the duration of the season, but odds seem in his favour since Gerard Lopez has merged his GenieII Capital investment group with a Brazilian company...

A Brawnier Handshake...

Saw this a little while ago... And only have Juan concern with it - the OBNOXIOUS idea of Branding a human’s body parts, albeit it was the recipient’s suggestion and not Mercedes Benz; BUTT! I still DON’T like it, seems kinda creepy... And seems like there’s something WRONG with the fact that it costs $55,000; SHEISA! Yet Kudos to Ross Brawn and Mercedes GP...

Armed and Well Sponsored

Don’t Forget Moto GP at Indy this Weekend

So I’ll confess that I haven’t been able to ‘Poond out the feature story I’d planned on to celebrate this weekend’s Moto GP event at the Speedway... As can it already be One-year since I attended my inaugural Moto GP event at Indianapolis... Not to mention having squirreled away my story about my favourite Hall of Fame Museum; SHEISA! But I digress...

Once again the ‘BigBoyz ranks features three ‘Yanks with the monikers of the Texas Tornado, The Kentucky Kid and ELBOWZ; Colin Edwards, Nicky Hayden and Ben Spies respectively. (Hey, age before beauty, eh?) Although I’ve personally nicknamed Speis Captain kOOL! Who came Oh So close to capturing his maiden Moto GP win last year at the Brickyard - where I witnessed him secure his maiden Big Bikes Pole Position.

Spies has gone onto win his first MOTOGP win at Assen, in the Netherlands earlier this season, whilst Edwards has proven his Ironman status by competing with a broken collarbone, which seemingly is the de riggour injury of the season, while Hayden’s struggled on the somewhat recalcitrant ‘DUC. (Ducati)

These ‘Scooters are absolutely MIND BLOWING - not to mention their Jockey’s aboard them and there’s action aplenty all weekend long, as I can still vividly see those FREAKINH’ rockets hurtle by at speeds of 160-180+ mph standing along the front straightaway’s catch fencing just yards away from the track, with Ralph Sheheen claiming these Dudes reach a terminal velocity of 200MPH before grabbing the breaks and tipping over up to 60-degrees into Turn-1; INSANE! So go check it out if you get a chance or watch it “live” on SPEED...

MOTO GP: 2010 Indianapolis Race Outing

Indy Cars Judgement Day...

Today is the Day that we learn if IndyCar has ANY Balls or not... As clearly Oriel Servia WON the Loudon RainGate Debacle - Copy ‘Dat BillyBob Brazenheartz?

Oriel Servia:

“I heard them say on the radio that Car 2 is the leader when it went yellow so we won the race. Then they decide to revert back and tell me I finished second. I’ve never seen them reverse the order and it’s maddening.”

“I feel like PT, I won the race but it won’t be in the record book...”
MILLER-Final Nail In The Coffin

‘Pat-the-Carpenter decides to Hang-up his Helmet & Trade-in Driving apparel for Suit ‘n tie...

Guess it’s pretty funny that I was so Hungry for some Twisty action that I decided to ‘Dial-up  that perennial WRECKFEST on Il Notre Dam, nee Circuit Gilles Villeneuve early Saturday afternoon, having tuned-in late in order to skip the Pre-amble ‘cause uze knows it’s gonna go long with lots ‘O yellow flaggage...

And thus, I was totally unaware that "Pat-the-Carpenter" (Patrick Carpentier) was retiring from motor racing - which I dually found out by sittin’ down  and tunin’ into le 'RASSCAR Doublewide, Err Nationwide AllStar race at Montreal - or Mont Royal as Aunty Harriet likes to pronounce it... Featuring a boatload 'O KuhNucks, an Aussie, 20 Road Ringers and Oh yeah... Almost forgot; Hee-hee-hee... Danica! Who at one point said she was gettin' HOT in the racecar - C’mon Guys; Oh Never Mind! As Ricky Somebody; Ricky Bobby? Whoever Rusty “Bark-at-the-Moon” Wallace ‘n Marty ‘Muskrat Luv Reid’s TV booth partner was... Not so kindly pointed out how Princess Danicker had better do something ‘bout her fitness ‘cause it AIN’T that HOT out - only ‘bout 80deg-f, albeit this elusive Ricky Bobby character did mention multiple times that he thought Danica’s cool suit musta been malfunctioning since she was  told to open her visor; but I digress...

As the Maple Leaf Homeboyz featured an eclectic mix of Road Warriors: Patrick Carpentier, Ron Fellows, J.R. Fitzpatrick, Andrew Ranger, Alex Tagliani and Jacques Villeneuve - Not to mention thee ‘DAWG’s latest squeeze Maryeve Dufault - as the ‘Kuhnadiun lass was making her debutant Nationwide race, but back to Pat, eh?

As Carpentier was probably ‘Juan of the nicest, most humble CART/Champ Car drivers I can remember, seemingly always overshadowed by his teammates, i.e.; Greg Moore and the Chrome Horn; The Thrill from the West Hill also known as ‘PT, aka Paul Tracy and to a lesser extent - ‘TAG, nee Alex Tagliani...

As I guess I’d haveda say my fondest memory of Patrick was his pledge to run NAKED down victory lane if he won at Mid Ohio - to which he somewhat fulfilled his obligations by running in a pair of chequered boxers as I recall...

As Carpentier, who’s  only 40yrs old - is seemingly cutting his career short, having been unsuccessful at his attempts to become a Tintop/Taxi Cab driver, as reputedly the rides have dried-up  and the transplanted KuhNuck will focus upon his Los Wages (Las Vegas) Real Estate career instead; Hmm? How ‘bout somebody inserting him into one of those laughingly unknown Phantom-5 guest drivers for that riveting Worlds Championship IndyCar finale, eh? Although Carpentier will forever be remembered as a Players/Forsythe Boy to this Humble Scribe who won five Indy Car races in his 157-start career. And even persevered thru trying times in the IRL with Eddie “the Mouth” Cheever’s underperforming Red Bull squad - where apparently Eddie didn’t like the way Pat swung his Hammer; Hya! (Cymbol crash please...)

Thus it was very kOOL to hear the Kuhnadiun fans giving Carpentier a Standing ‘Oh after he’d been taken out by Stevie “Omega” Wallace - who Patrick said during his interview; “Obviously Steven Wallace DOESN’T know how to brake!” Which was pretty funny since Stevie’s ‘Pappy Rusty was sittin’ in duh Booth...

Marcos Ambrose wins again for Second-time in six days

Quote of the Week

As I said before, I didn’t watch or tape the Loudon RainGate Festiva... But whilst listening to Kurty ‘n Kevin Thursday evening I broke out in laughter over Cavin’s comment ‘bout TakuSan, aka Takuma Sato’s defense towards his coming together with Dashley LePew. (Dario Franchitti)

Takuma Sato:

“I had something in my eye...”

Will somebody please give Simon Pagenaud a Chance next year...

Found this article in the daily Racer.com Top Stories ‘’Schpeile languishing in duh No Fenders mailbox recently and it’s a great ‘lil article about the extremely talented Frenchman “Symone Pagenoe,” aka Simon Pagenaud who I’m a huge fan of and would really like to see him get a fulltime ride in the ‘BigBoyz Indy Car ranks next year.

And whilst I’ve previously pined for him becoming TAG’s teammate next year at Sam Schmidt, it’d be cool to see him be part of a 3-car Dreyer & Reinbold “Superteam” next year with Simon’s partner’s being a fully healed ‘N 100% fit Justin ‘BIG UNIT Wilson and sophomore ‘BIA (Ana Beatriz) alongside those guys. Then again I’d enjoy seeing Jean Girard, Err ‘Symone paired up with Ho-pin Tung next year at Dragon Racing! Guess we’ll just haveda wait ‘n see, eh?

Simon Pagenaud – future IndyCar Champ?

Future le Femme in Pipeline for F1?

‘Le Reggie, aka Renault F1 – the other Lotus concern has just tested aspiring female racing driver Maria de Villota aboard a 2 year-old Renault R29 chassis at the Circuit Paul Ricard.

The 31yr old Spaniard is the daughter of ex-F1 driver Emilio and reportedly the first female to sample Formula 1 machinery since Thy Leggy ‘Juan, a.k.a. Katherine Legge participated in Minardi F1’s very final test at Vallelunga in 2005.

Thus De Villota joins Legge and Sarah Fisher  as Femme Fatales who’ve accomplished something that Danica Patrick hasn’t – C’mon guys, get your mind outta duh Gutter; Hya! As in driving a Formula One racecar.; although at 31, I’d say Maria’s chances are greatly limited towards gaining an F1 ride anytime soon, while I’m not really sure what being a test driver in Grand Prix gains one anymore - not to mention the other 167 reserve drivers on Renault’s books right now...

De Villota targets F1 test seat

INDYCAR: TURN OUT THE LIGHTS – THEE PARTY’S OVER MR. BARNHART!

Straight Up, I’ve NEVER truly been a fan ‘O Brian Braveheart, Err BillyBob BrazenHearts... NOT that it really matters, eh? But I thought I’d just get that outta duh way – since I’m assuming right now it’d be extremely easy to PyleOn the beleaguered Indy Car Series Chief Steward, right?

And some where’s I read that OWR Curmudgeon Robin Miller’s favourite ex-parts washer – YOUCH! Was the last remaining link to the previous tony George Regime; Hmm? Does that mean terry “Where’s duh Beef?” angstadt has moved onto greener pastures? But I digress...

This year’s IndyCar Officiating has been the WORST I can remember in eons – with golden Child drivers being given a pass upon being placed upon ‘Double Secret probation, (DSP) drivers with extremely large checkbooks; NO! I AIN’T talking ‘bout thee Wandering Milka... But a certain countryman who’s got a huge talent of taking other drivers out whilst looking at Babes in the Grandstands; Hya! Never ever having a peep said ‘bout being placed on you guessed it – DSP! Not to be outdone by the high flying circus act HiJinx of a revered Patriarchal American Open Wheel Racing family’s charge who drives for his Pappy’s team... Whilst gee Wally, Err Mr. CandyMann – aren’t those Doublewide starts super neat?

As the only decent call I can recollect ‘Ol Barnhart making was Up North eh! At Edmonton where he penalized Hélio Castroneves, albeit I’d surmise that it wasn’t his initial call, just something he was enforcing once a Mr. Tony cottman brought it to his attention...

Meanwhile I find it most amusing how everybody seems to be overlooking the fact that this isn’t the first time this season that Race Control has SCREWED THE POOCH during a wet race – as perhaps Y’all recall that waterlogged season opener in Sao Paolo where they threw a green flag just moments after a Monsoon erupted... Where I believe that Race Control checked in with various drivers afterwards to see how the track conditions were... Check-chek-check; Copy-Copy-copy 1-2-3 – can you hear me now TK? OOPS! Should we go green Kanaan – uzeda gotz a copy Rubber Ducky 10-4?

And that’s without even getting into the ThorRonTiun Firecracker 400 which ranks as the WORST race of this season in my humble opinion... But Hey, I’m just a 40 Somme-thun with a Confuzer who likes to sit around cut ‘N pasting stories ‘bout racing – right Mr. Barnes?

Thus, I think it’s time for Randy Bernard to cut the umbilical chord that has kept Messer Barnhart tethered to IndyCar so long, as Hmm? Perhaps since he’s reputedly so close to the Dallara concern, he could be put in charge of chassis liaison after Cottman & Co. get the initial product Ontrack and in the hands of whichever Teams will be running those DIFFERENT looking Aerokits next year – you know the multiple Body-by-Mennen AFX Aurora Aerokits that multiple manufacturers will be producing next season; OOPS - SURPRISE! (NOT!!!) That’s right, I forgot – Randy “The CandyMann” Bernard caved-in to the owners and GEEZ! We’ll once again be STUCK with another mundane Indy Racing League Spec-series next year.

But I still think its time for Mr. Bernard to announce impending changes in Race Control who appear to be watching Looney Tunes comics instead of the race? Hmm? Perhaps Randy could recall Retired Gen Loony III to form another Android voting committee to hand pick Barnhart’s successor?

Just please Mr. Bernard, whatever you do – do NOT make the new Chief Steward Al Unser Jr. as ‘lil Al may have been a gifted racecar driver in his day, and may be even a decent officiater but for my taste, he’s just way too “BarnhartLite” and seems to be almost as inconsistent as his superior!

As I think IndyCar really needs to clean up its Officiating act – including its feeder series, namely Indy Lights, which NOBODY is still whispering a word about what really happened at the David Hobbs 100... With it being previously revealed that there’s been 57 INFRACTIONS as of Milwaukee; Aye Karumba!

As Scott Dixon so rightly pointed out this AIN’T NO GoKart racing is it? Or Thursday Night Thunder? As it seems like everybody’s pretty dismayed by the state of race officiating now – which makes me  forlornly think of another dubious sanctioning body named USAC – you know the ones who MUFFED the call on the infamous Texas race when ‘Ol SuperTex tried giving Arie Luyendyk a ‘Shiner! And still reputedly has the trophy that Billy boat STOLE from The Flying Dutchman...

Thus it definitely seems ironic that two thirds of the Appeals board is USAC based whilst the third is the track promoter who already appears to be a Brian Barnhart ‘YesMan. And although I didn’t see the race, from what little I heard on Trackside, it sounds like Oriel Servia is the winner, Dixon runner-up and Ryan (Hunter) BULLY-Ray third... As it’d be poetic justice for RHr’s Edmonton antics, eh? Then again the MOST damaging aspect of all of this was Dixon’s Post-race comments ‘bout is Indy Car simply making up the rules as they go along?

Back from Oregon...

And hopefully my faithful 36-readers are still with me; Hya!

As isn’t it funny how all HELL breaks loose whiles Yourz awayz playin’ in duh Sand...

As cannot actually remember exactly what in Tarnations your Humble Scribe was doin’ when ALL of thee fireworks erupted at Loudon – as I didn’t even bother settin’ duh timer to record that Ovaltrack race...

For Those Who watch IndyCar – We Salute You Will Power!

Will Power tells the WHOLE world what he thinks ‘bout Brian Barnhart’s latest race Officiating GAFF! (Source: oilpressure.com)

So I haven’t had time to digest the litany O ‘Oh-Pin-Yuns on Ye Internetz over the Festimus of Triple B’s Piece de la Resistance race Officiatin’ YeeHaw! SMOKE ON! BillyBob BrazenHeartz... Except for the thought that Messer Will Power gets my vote for Largest Bollocks of the Year for Oh So RIGHTLY telling BillyBob what he (and the rest of the grid & paddock) really felt ‘N thought about that ABOMINATION of a race call!

Thus I thought I’d throw out this Bloggaratzi Triangle Ye ‘Vurd Butchery instead – as PopOff Valve’s Head Scribe introduces us to a brand new and very unflattering nickname of Messer Barnhart...

What We Learned: Baghdad Brian" thinks we're all pretty stupid

Over at the always SmackDaddy HipsterSpeakin’ pressdog, Thee ‘Dawg tries seein’ how many times he can insert Carnival themes, mostly utilizing the insertion of Clown Cars and there accompanying FunnyMen into his race notes in...

Notes Taken During the 2011 IndyCar Race at New Hampshire

Whilst over at MFW – ‘Stef takes a somewhat more sedate approach to the chicanery of this past weekend’s Loudon Green-White Checker’s or WRECKERZ IndyCar attempt of thee BIG ‘JUAN...

Reading Between the Lines

F1: Pump vs. Race fuel

Crack British Journalist James Allen has a somewhat interesting peak at just how close is pump gasoline compared to the ‘AvGas High Octane spirits used to propel today’s modern Formula 1 racecar. And according to Messer Allen Y’all might just be surprised...

How close is F1 fuel to Road Car Fuel?

AUTOS: Is The Car Show just a POOR Knockoff of Top Gear?

So I’ve watched about 1.5 episodes of SPEED’s extremely OVERHYPED Car Show with Adam Carolla - of which I personally didn’t find it to be funny at all, lacking in comedic tome, and over all a rather thinly veiled and POOR excuse of a Top Gear Knockoff or ‘Wannabee...

Thus I found it somewhat bemusing that Messer Carolla was mildly slamming the History channel’s Top Gear USA program – which is in its second season with the triumberant of Tanner Foust, Rutledge Wood and Adam Ferrara; who I find to be much more entertaining & enjoyable to watch... Although in fairness to the first Adam, (Carolla) he never specifically called out Top Gear USA, just made fun of the History channel instead during his Speed Freaks Car Show interview...

Yet I find Messer Carolla to be NOT funny at all on the  pitiful Car Show – to which I can only ponder how long ‘til its cancelled by SPEED? Although I didn’t watch the riveting episode where the Boyz fondled over how many “Hoties” could be stuffed into a BMW Mini...

No Fenders on brief Hiatus...

As it appears to be approaching the DAWG-dazes ‘O Summer, as reputedly everyone’s off to their nearby beaches with spade ‘N buckets in hand... As several crack members of Ye Bloggaratzi are taking a brief siesta from the never ending iridescent green rays of thee Confuzer monitor... Your Humble Scribe thought he’d join the parade, albeit I’m off to hopefully play in the sand a slightly different way, i.e.; visiting the Sand Dunes of Oregon instead, although it is right alongside the Pacific Ocean via Highway-1. As hopefully I’ll get to take a ride aboard a Sand ‘Rail (Dune Buggy) whilst on Holiday.

Therefore; there will be NO blog posts for the next  week, as I’ll try to be ‘Backhoed,  Err Back Home again by next Monday; August 15 – when hopefully my 36 faithful readers will resume following my Krackerjax scribblinz upon Ye No Fenders blog; Hya!

More Details on Senna; Lauda-Hunt movies revealed

So, I know Y’all probably DON’T care ‘bout my PAIN ‘N SUFFERIN’ to actually finally sus-out the actual Theatre/Date/Time for the Senna Documentary that I’ve been hoping to see live in Seattle ever since being mercilessly teased by all the European ‘Journoes who’ve already seen it, not to mention the OZ ‘Celeb’s Down Under, i.e.; ‘BLACKJACK, nee Sir Jack Brabham, Mick Doohan, Jamie Wynncup, etc.

And thus, as I attempted to continuously peel back the layers ‘O Internetz teasers – as I’d previously discovered Seattle’s date, I discovered a new webpage actually giving the mystery Theatre’s dates & locations; over the steady DRONE of a F%%KING air compressor (Friday) outside my door as an overly LOUD work crew rebuilds my rotten deck patio; SHEISA! I’ve got a Headache; but I digress...

Senna documentary Cities and Dates announced

Meanwhile, perhaps Y’all have heard ‘bout Ron “Opie” Howard’s plans to make a feature length film about Niki Lauda vs. James Hunt’s epic 1976 Formula 1 Scrum for the F1 World Championship – which its working  titled is reportedly RUSH; Hmm? Isn’t there a ‘Kuhnadiun Power Trio by that name? Oh Never Mind!

More on the Lauda-Hunt Film

STEAMIN’ Somewheres in Seattle

Ah, the tranquil settings of summertime in a MegaTroplis; the Birds, the Bees, Children running around gaily, summer breezes, sunshine and WTF? A multitude ‘O industrial strength Leaf Blowers – as apparently Seattle’s summer has two become enraptured in the pastimes of our neighbour’s Up North Eh! As according to Thee Rhythm Professor, aka Neil Peart of the KILLER Rock band RUSh – there’s ONLY two seasons in Toronto... Winter and road CONSTRUCTION! (Cymbol crash please...)

Thus, earlier this morning as I tried steppin’ out – there was a Quartet of Storm Troopers blowing the parking lot in final preparations for the pouring of a fresh coat of AshFault; SHEISA!

As I tried vainly walking outside this morning for my trek to wrussle up some supplies, I groaned to myself how nice... The FUCKING AshFault paving truck is parked directly in FRONT of my stairway... Yeah, the whole FURLIN’ planet Wah-wha-wha...

So I sidestepped said vehicle and began walking slowly towards said droning noise trying to rely upon my hearing and thus decided NOT to cut across the parking lot towards the pedestrian walkway – where the Robotrons appeared to be gleefully workin’ away... Of which Gee Wally; Guess What AIN’T being fixed; can you say sidewalk?

Passing the multiple Robotrons with white cane displayed – suddenly aboot 50-feet onwards one of the men YELLED STOP! As apparently I was headed directly towards the wet AshFault being laid... Thus, two different men approached me simultaneously & offered to assist me outta the parking lot... Heading up the hill and out of harms way, I decided to turn back ‘round and go hunker down in my frumpy ‘lil Abode instead; since I could envision trying to need crossing wet, hot, gooey, tacky & sticky AshFault upon my return; CRIKEYS! As they’ve been outside ALL BLOODY DAY... As it’s somewhat bemusing how we take such great care of our be-LUV-ed roadways for automobiles but DON’T do SHIT for the sidewalks that us pedestrians must transverse daily...

Guess may be I’d better go on vacation ‘n get the HE-LL outta here, eh?

Quote of the Weekend...

So I actually broke down and watched my very first IndyCar Central Pre-race show of the year yesterday – solely to see the Will Power & Liz Cannon (wife) interview which I think Kevin Lee alluded to during Saturday’s ‘Qualie show...

But the funniest part of the whole three hour cruise... Note to Versus – do we really need a 50-minute Dawg ‘N Pony Show? Although I was shocked that there were NO Princess or Twinkle Toes interviews; Hya! And uze means you couldn’t actually haveda the driver’s availability timed for ‘R’s mesmerizing Grid Wriggle? But I digress...

Hands down, the FUNNIEST part of the whole broadcast was during ‘R’s (Robin Miller) Grid-wriggling segment when he tried to get RP (Roger Penske) to play along with his ACT! Can Yuhs takes us to break Roger? To which the Captain went into his prolific PressSpeak by extolling the virtues of the Versus Broadcast before Roger pulled a Joke outta his Hat! Saying on camera: With people like you Versus cannot get any better; Hya! Or something to that effect since I was Guff-hawing too loudly to remember what Penske said as he threw down on Robin...

A different Spin on Firestone’s previously announced Exodus

Whale, once again another story has been languishing in that all consuming Black Hole of Ye ‘Vurd Documents – affectionately known here at No Fenders as the NFWHV! (NoFenderz WormHole Vortex...)

Thus, I thought it somewhat – if vaguely symbiotic, albeit a stretch? As listening to DannyBoy ‘SPIKE Wheldon in the Versus Broadcast booth during his short time there, which I’ve enjoyed quite immensely - made me think of this somewhat nebulous coincidence, of how potentially Wheldon’s enforced Summer Vacation prior to becoming the 2012 Dallara “Test Dummy” along with Bryan Herta Autosport (BHA) seemingly will reinvigorate his stalled Open Wheel Racing career, of which another testing gig previously enabled another racing team and Open Wheel Star to return to the fold of IndyCar... 

Alas, I seem to vaguely recall originally being miffed by “Flintstone’s” resurgence in Open Wheel Racing, ‘Circa ’95 - for some strange reason noting their apparent future crushing of Goodyear in CART, (Championship Auto Racing Teams) Err Champ Car – has anybody noticed how WICKEDpedia is now denoting all of the CART statistics as Champ Car? But I digress...

For reasons unknown, I first became aware of Scott Donald Pruett during those Halcyon Roush Ford Motor Company “Tin tops” days, when the Cat in the Hat (Jack Roush) was lighting up the IMSA/SCCA Pro series with his NARLY Ford Mustangs, Merkur XR4Ti’s and Lincoln Cougars... As ‘Scooter’s first championship was in the WICKED lookin’ white Mac Tools Merkur XR4Ti, in which Messer Pruett won the 1986 & 1988 IMSA GTO Titles, with the ’87 Trans Am Crown being the Merkur’s Vegamite in the GTO Championship sandwich...

And it’s funny what we keep stored away as mementos, eh? As I possibly still have the torn out Autoweek article documenting Pruett’s ascension into Indy Cars, Err CART... As I still recall Pruett spending all of his savings - $70,000 I believe to buy a pair of rides with Dick Simon’s outfit.

And I was unaware that Pruett was the 1989 Co-Rookie of the Year at Indianapolis, sharing the honour with Bernard Jourdain – which seems even more impressive since ‘Scooter was driving for Truesports in the relatively new Judd 2.65-liter turbocharged V-8 ‘lump which Truesports took over from Galles Racing...

What’s funny ‘bout not knowing to me ‘bout Pruett’s ’89 Indy 500 success - is that for reasons unknown – apparently being totally 100% immersed in the world of Formula 1 I don’t even recall watching the Indy 500 that year, as after all I’d just attended my inaugural F1 race, the USGP sponsored by Iceberg in the Valley of the Sun on June 4, 1989 and hence perhaps I was in Phoenix over Memorial Day or suffering a Heat wave?

Phoenix’s Iceberg

Yet I was Backhoed again Just-in-time for my then yearly trek to Portland International Raceway (PIR) for the Budweiser/GI Joes 200, where I went ‘Big Game Huntin’ for the very first time ever...

As I still cannot say exactly why, but I went in search of ‘Scooter’s John Hancock, waiting patiently for a glimpse of Pruett in his pit stall, to which a very nice Blonde ended up telling me that if I came back later she’d make sure I got his autograph. (Perhaps his wife Judy?) And she was true to her word as I still recall feeling like a Big Cheese as after returning I was the only one of the small gathering in the Paddock granted an autograph from the California Ace.

Pruett was one-fourth of Indy’s rookie class that year, an eclectic bunch by my accounting, with a ‘KuhNuck, (John Jones) a Mexican (Jourdain) and a Belgian. (Didier theys)

As history denotes, Scott suffered a ‘Mega Pre-season testing incident in west Palm Beach, Florida in March, 1990 – at the wheel of the Truesports Lola-Judd chassis, as I seem to recall him having lost his brakes at an overly high rate of speed... Which surely was a horrific accident for Pruett, as it makes me think of somebody named ‘Regga’s (Gianclaudio "Clay" Regazzoni) career ending accident behind the wheel of an Ensign-Cosworth F1 chassis at Long Beach in 1980, albeit Regazzoni, who suffered a brake failure unfortunately crashed into the abandoned Brabham racecar of Ricardo Zunino – hurtling airborne before striking an unmovable concrete barrier and ultimately would become paralyzed for the remainder of his life...

Yet ironically, Regga’s accident occurred whilst driving a second stint for Ensign F1 – Maurice “Mo” Nunn’s team, whom I believe later helped with Patrick Racing’s renaissance... As Pruett would spend the entire 1990 season rehabilitating, before returning to the keyboard of the Truesport 91C-Judd in 1991, followed by a second disappointing season in the 92C-Chevrolet Indy-A V-8 before Truesports demise...

So just how does all of this relate to Firestone you may be asking? Well in 1994 Scott Pruett began his CART comeback by spending the entire year testing Firestone’s black majik ring thingy’s for Pat Patrick, before returning to competition in 1995, as I can still vaguely recall that memorable last lap victory by ‘Scooter – just pipping ‘lil Al (Unser Jr.) at the stripe by the scantest of inches  for his inaugural victory. As I know some of you OvalHead purists will scoff at my next remark; BUTT! Now that Michigan 500 was a true Humdinger of an Oval race – which I feel quite a lot of todays are missing; as only Kentucky’s recent events rank close to Mwah...

And I do recall Pruett winning his second and final CART event at Surfers Paradise, Australia – which is somewhat Symbiotic to Mwah, having just gone there for the first time ever. (Australia) As that was truly a Mega-bitchin’ event as Randal would say! A la Portland; which I noticed that Milwaukee has stolen another page outta PIR’s playbook... First stealing their traditional Father’s Day weekend date, and now having tied-up a major Brewery as their Title sponsor; Oh Never Mind!

NW SNUBBED AGAIN!

Although I was happy to hear that David Hobbs Honda got behind the Milwaukee event... Whilst Avocado Motorsports Marketing’s PR rep Monica “The Race gIRL” Hilton jumped ship to HVM Racing to take over PR duties for Symona-Symona, a.k.a. Symona de Silvestro prior to the race; but I digress once again...

Scott Pruett stayed with Patrick racing for four years (1994-98) before moving over to the Arciero Wells Toyota powered team for his final CART season in 1999 – where ‘Scooter gave the Japanese Auto Giant its inaugural Championship Auto Racing Teams Oval Pole at Fontana, CA., before a most disappointing “Y2k” (2000) rookie campaign in ‘RASSCAR aboard the Cal Wells Tide-Chevy before being replaced by Rickey Craven...

Thus, as Dan Wheldon begins his testing regime this Monday, I can only surmise that his upcoming next generation Dallara Indy Car Series program will hopefully lead the Englishman back into the Indy Car fold on a Fulltime basis next season, preferably with Bryan Herta Autosport - not to mention at age 33 – hopefully another four-plus years in the Open wheel Racing ranks, eh? As ironically, or karmicaly both ‘Scooter ‘N ‘Spike (Pruett & Wheldon respectively) will be competing against each other this October Down Under in the ‘Aussie V8 Supercars Gold Coast 600 race at Surfers Paradise along with several other Big Name drivers...

INDYCAR: Wilson out – Pagenaud in for Mid Ohio race

Sufferin’ Succotash... Err YIKES! As shockingly the Indycar.com “live” webcast actually worked after I entered my email address and stumbled upon a Play button whilst the website’s banner proclaimed there’s NO action on track... When wallah – mystically Mike “Yippee-Kye-Eh” King’s voice crackled thru the speakers... Although once again the sound quality was MISERABLE! But I digress...

Thus I found it very ‘kOOL that the Indy Car Series drivers banded together to help a fellow competitor, especially since “Symone Pagenoe” (Simon Pagenaud) wasn’t expecting to compete this weekend, albeit having tested for Sam Schmidt Motorsports the week previously during the Big Boyz open IndyCar test...

Unfortunately Dreyer & Reinbold’s lead driver Justin ‘BIG UNIT Wilson suffered a crash during Saturday morning practice, complaining of  lower back pain and was taken on back board to a nearby Hospital for further examination.

And I’m not quite sure why Pagenaud was on hand at Mid Ohio, perhaps trolling the Pitlane for future employment? Although it seems Simon is a likely candidate for a second seat at Schmidt next year – now that they’ve become a Honda engine team.

The rub to Simon being in street clothes was he had NO seat or driving equipment with him, as obviously Justin’s seat is too BIG for him... So I found it really cool that Vitor Meira of AJ Foyt Enterprises loaned him his spare seat. Fellow countryman le ‘Hamburgular, nee ‘SeaBass, aka Sebastian Bourdais loaned him a spare driving suit; SeaBass’s Dale Coyne Racing teammate James Jakes loaned him a spare HANS device and Simon used Justin Wilson’s helmet to complete his driving apparel as he was inserted in the No. 22 Dallara Just-in-Time to go out for qualifying session two; CRIKEYS!

Yet Symone did a very respectable job and wound-up P18 on the starting grid for tomorrow’s race with 27 competitors. Heck, he even qualified ahead of Ahem; Danica Patrick...

Good luck tomorrow Symone and get well soon Justin!

UPDATE

Watched the tape delayed Versus ‘Qualie show at 3PM Pacific today to see if there would be any further news upon Wilson’s condition... Nothing was reported there – as just minutes prior I learned via duh Internetz Justin had broken his back, as IndyCar medical director Dr. Michael Olinger announced that Wilson has broken his fifth vertebra and will be transferred to Indianapolis Sunday for further evaluation.

Thus, I’d assume that the likeable Brit is done for the season, as its been a rough slog for Wilson – having started off the season with a broken bone in his wrist, as ironically it was Simon Pagenaud who filled in for Ana Beatriz when she too broke her wrist earlier this year.

But I did gleam from the broadcast via Robin Miller that Simon was using a pair of J.R. Hildebrand’s racing boots – as apparently Bourdais feet were too small...