Yo ‘RASSCAR! Whudda Yuhs means there’s Other racing going on?

So originally - since apparently I’m a DannaWho? ‘HATER; Oh Never Mind! I’d intended to Boycott thee entire ‘DayToner 500 racin’ thingy... Hey, I mean it’s only scheduled to last 5-and one-half hours, right? YUK! OH SHIT! Where’s the mute button - trying to eat breakfast before the RIVETING ‘DW ‘LUVfest; Err, interview with guess who was slated to PEAK! Err, pop-up after duh commercial...

Thus I decided to read Donald Davidson’s most Excellante book - Autocourse: The Official History of the Indianapolis 500 instead; WHAT? NO Danica? Hya! Yet apparently I couldn’t stand it, and after finishing the chapter I went out to have a looky-loo at who was leading? But ‘Ol Chalkboard Larry Mac screeched ‘Somme-thun ‘bout tonight’s race; Huh? This made me do a little “Happy Dance!” When I discovered that the ONLY thingy that can stop the DannaCar express is good old Mother Nature - as I’m hoping that thee GURR-REAT! ‘Merricun race gets RAINED OUT! As I wunder if Ye ‘Ol Windbag Dave Despain will be kickin’ off Wind Tunnel tonight? To which I discovered there was some sorta motorcycle racing going on Down Under from Phillip Island...

Tunin’ in with only 15mins of the first race remaining - I watched Max Biaggi simply cruise home aboard his Aprilia rocketship, with Marco Melandri runner-up on his BMW and Sylvain Guintoli third; Huh? Where’s my Numero Uno man “The Bull.” Don’t tell me Carlos Checa has retired?

Thus I decided to watch race-two in its entirety - as I simply delight over the commentary of Jonathan Green and the other Steve Martin - as Green is even more animated then Mike “Yippee-Aye-Eh!” King is, whilst Martin is masterfully Dry...

Turned out that The Bull (Checa) had had a ‘Mega High-side in round-1 and therefore DNF’ed, which surely isn’t how the reigning World Superbike (WSBK) Champion intended to begin his title defense.

Biaggi simply blew past his competitors down the main straight with the unbelievable “Grunt” of the Aprilia’s V-4 with a terminal velocity of 325kph! Which I believe is faster then Formula 1 currently circulates around the globe at, albeit “Jungle Boy,” nee Antonio Pizzonia holds the record at le Autodromo Monza - just shy of 375 ‘clicks; SHEISA! Or 231mph for us ‘Yank’s - set back in the three-liter V-10 era; But I digress...

F1: Viva Italiano - 2008 Edition

As granted, today’s F1 Landsharks are every bit as fast; BUTT! You’ve gotta admit 201.825mph on a ‘Scooter is FREAKIN’ INSANE! As Biaggi was simply amazing in round-2 - after he nearly had taken himself out at the start and dropped to stone last on lap-1 while Checa loped around at the sharp end of the grid, albeit dropping as low as third astern - before taking the lead from Jonathan Rea; coming thru Johnny... As Carlos then simply motored off into the distance.

Yet the man of the hour was Biaggi who simply marveled at coming all the way back up to finish runner-up - as Martin wryly noted: “He only passed three on that lap,” whilst attempting to dust off not one, but both of the BMW’s down the straightaway.

With the best race of round-2 being the massive scrum over the podium’s final step, as thee Irishman Rea simply ran his rubber ragged trying to hold off a hard charging Tom Sykes, the Kawasaki rider having started the day on Pole in race-1 - who’s tyres were in better shape, with Sykes nicking Rea on the final lap.

And it was funny to hear Martin note that the two OLDEST riders on the WSBK circuit - with a combined 78-years between them were 1-2 on the podium; Crikeys! But even more impressive was Leon “The Lion” Haslam’s stirring performance - as the BLOODY ‘BRIT was riding with a broken right leg, toe and heel, with the broken toe being on his shifter foot; aye Karumba! As Haslam gritted thru the immense pain to finish a remarkable fifth in round-2; as Yuhs gotta ask yourself would Danica be able to do that?