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Kimi Raikkonen at Silverstone, 2012. (Source:
f1fanatic.co..uk)
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Otay, so I've got Turkey Lurkey-itus here lately,
as I've just returned from another fantastic outing at COTA - where Y'all know
the FRIGGIN' results; Ja Volt!
And with TWINKIEBOY making a mockery of the
Formula 1 circus this year, it's been somewhat hard to get overly Revved UP
over the past few races, even when 'Ol Professor Matchett continuously drones
on 'bout how we're witnessing History and our children & grandchildren will
ask us if we watched Seb' Vettel make history all those years ago? Umm? Will
there be another generation that gives a
CRAP
about F1?
And thus I'll confess I really don't have
much to scribble 'bout the last four events - as I've never felt my passion for
Formula 1 waning so much compared to the previous years gone by, especially
since the same driver wins every race, and like Lewis Hamilton said; Y'all can
wake up, turn the Telie on, go back to sleep and then turn it on later to see
Michael Schumacher; Err Seb' Vettel win another race, YAWN! While IndyCar just
had one of its best seasons ever with ten different winners from seven teams
along with four debutant winners - but continues to get hammered in the
television ratings, probably something to do with being on "Peacock-lite," (NBCSN) eh?
INDIA
Once again Vettel dually started on Pole and
streaked away from the Mercedes duo of Nico Rosberg & Lewis Hamilton, the
trio having started on the "Soft's" (option) rubber while Seb's
teammate Mark Webber (P4) had opted for the prime harder tyres, as Vettel pulled
out 2.4-seconds alone on his opening lap before at the end of lap-2 racing into
the pits to switch over to the preferred Medium (prime) Pirelli rubber,
dropping to 17th place - which ironically is where Lotuses Romain Grosjean
started due to a poor 'Qualie session.
With the shuffling of cars to rid themselves
of the soft rubber, la Scuderia's Felipe Massa became the first driver other
than Vettel to lead the Indian Grand Prix before Red Bull's Webber took over
the point on lap-9.
And it's all coming back now as the in-car
radio was played of an incredulous Webber croaking "Stop the Car?" (WTF???)
As once again Webber would fall foul to mechanical gremlins as his alternator
packed it in whilst the Aussie' was running second to that Dastardly German
Wunderkind Vettel who'd retaken the lead for good upon lap 33.
Nico Rosberg took over second place on lap-52
while thee 'Kimster, (Raikkonen) remember him? Trying to do an All-skate home
in the top three on severely shot rubber was passed by the flying Grosjean as
Kimi forlornly pitted for new Pirelli's in order to salvage seventh while his
less heralded teammate Grosjean finished a spectacular third!
Yet more noise about the race was probably
made over Vettel's until then uncustomary stopping upon the front straight to
do celebratory "Doughnuts" to punctuate clinching his fourth consecutive
world championship as the FIA would later fine him $25,000 Euros for not
proceeding directly to Parc Ferme!
ABU DHABI
Following the Indian Grand Prix it was learned
that Kimi Raikkonen and Lotus F1 Trackside manager Alan Permane had
had a most memorable conversation on the in-car radio where Permane told Kimi
to get out of the FUCKING way! Ultimately leading to a Raikkonen meltdown
uncharacteristically revealing that he hadn't been paid a single Euro to
date for his services rendered...
Adding further insult to injury, Raikkonen's
Lotus chassis was found to be foul of a too flexible floor in Post-qualifying scrutineering and would be
forced to start dead last, as thee "Iceman" uncharacteristically
tried making up positions too quickly and had a first corner collision with
"Guido-the-Dutchman," (Giedo van der Garde) breaking Kimi's
track-rod and promptly retiring before quickly disappearing into his rental car
and exiting stage left el Pronto! (As it'd be the last we'd see of Raikkonen
this year...)
Meanwhile, Mark Webber cleanly out qualified
Vettel for Pole, unlike his previous Pole where the German had issues with his
KERS system, but it was all for naught, as another typical Webber get-away saw
him drop to third while Vettel rocketed off into the sunset never to be seen again, as Vettel's lead was so startling
that at one point he led his second place teammate by 40-seconds; Aye Karumba!
Webber dually got around the precocious
"Brittany," nee Nico Rosberg who'd ultimately finish upon the
podium's final step whilst Romain Grosjean kept his fine finishing form alive
with P4 while "Fredrico Suave" (Alonso) closed out the top-5,
although I seem to recall that he had a massive Mano e Mano duel with teammate Felipe
Massa who wasn't pulling over for the Spaniard anymore - having been given his
walking papers from Ferrari, before the Scuderia boyz mysteriously fitted the
"slower" prime tyres for his unplanned second stop when clearly the
soft Pirelli rubber was the way to go.
Thus Ho-Hum, Vettel won again, his seventh victory
in-a-row equaling his hero 'DER TERMINATOR's (M. Schumacher) tally from 2004 -
with only Alberto Ascari's astounding nine in-a-row tally from 1952-53 besting
the 26yr old "Baby Schuey..."
