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Justin B-I-G UNIT' Wilson's "Hero Card"
from this year's Sonoma IndyCar autograph session. (The Tomaso Collection)
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Preferably on the
non-winding Russian River road, as Californian's DON'T likes us holding 'Dem up
in our tipsy-whipsy Minivan; Hya!
As
leave I-T to two OLD White Guys crusin' California in a Minivan; YIKES!
Why
does that sound like the intro to some Reality TV Show, eh? Hya! Once again
back on the road somewheres in California, on Friday we made another Pitstop at
a Rest Area, where a very nice gentleman assisted Mwah; first directing me to
the sink and turning on the water, then
telling me where the soap was and finally directing me to the paper towels;
this being the only time on the entire Roadtrip a stranger helped me...
Back
in our trusty Dodge Caravan, as we
rolled onto Pitlane, Claudio spotted a parked Semi Big Rig' with the
words Canadian Trucking emblazoned in Gynormous letters, to which he stopped at
the cab, where two Gentlemen were entering said vehicle.
Rolling
down his window, Claudio' wise-cracked: Uze Guys from 'KanaDuh? Hya! And then
I quickly added "Take Off
Hosers!" To which Claudio repeated to the drivers who were totally
perplexed - having NO idea what a Hoser was? To which Claudio said I guess that's just in the movies, informing the two
men they needed to watch 'Kuhnadiun Bacon 'bout two or three times before we bidded them a fond Adieu.
Then
somewhere further down the Highway, Claudio informed me that they were Sikh's!
To which I quickly retorted, well Uh Duh! Naturally they wouldn't know what the
HELL a Hoser was, so thanks a lot Claudio; Hya! To which he'd further elaborate
that the fine gentleman who'd assisted me in the lavatory was one of the
two truck drivers.
Then we
were lost again the following morning when going to the track. Like which way
do we go Tomaso; HWY 37 West or East? Having NO idea which way we were
traveling I simply told him the direction we'd taken yesterday, which was west
on Highway 37, which I'd remembered went to the track nearly two decades later,
unawares that we were coming into Sonoma Raceway from a totally different
direction: CRIKEYS!
Then
Claudio pronounce: Think we'd better stop 'N ask for directions, doing so at a
nearby gas station.
Alas,
a super nice, friendly young black gentleman said; I'm going right past the
track. Do you want to follow me? Otay, when I hit my flashers, then that'll be
when you'll want to turn into the track's entrance.
And
then pulling over errantly, Claudio mused out loud; Hey! He waited for us,
those were his brake lights instead! And then the 'lil Honda Civics' flashers
flashed and we turned right into the Sonoma Raceway entrance; Unbelievable! As
everywhere we went, people took pity upon us 'N gladly gave us directions
wherever; how FREAKIN' kOOL!
Thus
returning to Sonoma Raceway, which for Mwah, will always indelibly be known as
Sears Point Raceway, we arrived somewhat bright 'N early for the first of two GURR-REAT!!!
Dazes at this ultra Groovy, Twisty' racetrack. As I think we arrived sometime
during the morning feeder-series warm-up sessions, recalling now catching the
majority of the Indy Lights before Claudio' casually asked: Do you wanna get
Will Power's autograph? Yeah, hence we left our seats along Pitlane around 11AM
for the IndyCar Fan Village - with NO clue where the autographing was being
done.
The autograph
session started at 11:15AM and as we stood in a pretty Mondo' line of admirers
and time ticked away without any movement in the line, I thought to myself for
sure we'd never make it.
Schlepping
forwards very slowly, whilst Claudio read to me what drivers he could see, upon
saying who's the #20, to which I calmly
replied Mike Conway, the friendly man alongside us from Colorado said: You
certainly know your stuff! To which Claudio said; that's his job; Hooah! Hey
Tomaso, I think we're gonna make I-T!
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| Simon Pagenaud "Hero Card" from this year's Sonoma IndyCar autograph session. (The Tomaso Collection) |
Justin Wilson & Carlos Huertas,
Mike Conway, Simon Pagenaud & Mikhail Aleshin,
Joseph Newgarden, Jack Hawksworth, Graham Rahal plus Juan Pablo Montoya, Helio
Castroneves & Will Power.
TEAMS
Dale Coyne Racing, Ed Carpenter Racing, Schmidt
Peterson Hamilton Motorsports, Brian Herta
Autosports, Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing and Team Penske.
As very cleverly,
IndyCar daftly divided the grid into two equally 'B-I-G Name groupings, with
the Ganassi and Andretti boyz being in the other line...
As the first driver who greeted us was my Numero
Uno Piloto' Justin 'B-I-G UNIT Wilson, who Claudio told looked sorta like us
after he sat down; Hya! (Height-wise) As its hard to believe I' first met him
eight years ago at the Seattle Roadster show, when Champ Car was trying to
still promote itself...
Next up, Claudio asked his teammate where U from?
As Carlos Huertas politely replied Columbia... Mike "Ice-Ice, Baby!" Conway was
his usual Chillin' kOOL self before Claudio got a wry smile outta the Rooskie'
Mikhail Aleshin over his excellent (Russian) ambassadorship, while "simone
Pagenoe" (Simon Pagenaud) was his usual bubbly, friendly self! Think we
got a grunt outta Bloody 'Union Jack (Hawksworth) whilst I don't even recall
greeting Joseph STUD! Newgarden, but know he'd
have been great! Since I only discovered this upon returning 'N
reviewing my cache 'O "Hero Cards."
While entertainingly, the driver we Kabitzed with
the most was thee Graminator! As Claudio and Graham Rahal exchanged wisdoms
'bout Ohio State, Back-roads, etc; Yuck-yuck-yuck...
Then it was time to meet the trio I'd been looking forward
to, the sole reason I'd opted for doing the autograph thingy was to finally obtain DJ WillyP's scrawl; 'Whale, actually just two-thirds of
I-T, since 'HULIO simply makes my stomach turn! As contrary to popular belief,
JPM (Montoya) was hands down the coolest and most charismatic with us, as Juan was smiling, relaxed, happy,
laughing and joked around with us! While
'HULIO (Castroneves) sat completely stoic, like maybe I wouldn't S-E-E him?
Before Claudio said here's Will Power! Who also wouldn't speak to Mwah until I
said: Hey Will, BEAT this guy next to you! To which he politely said "I'm
trying to man!" To which afterwards, Claudio informed me that Power looked
completely BORED!
And I won't bust-up too heavily upon these
drivers, who I know get pulled six ways at once by everybody who
wants to be their best friend, and will give them the benefit of the doubt that
they didn't S-E-E my white cane; BUT! C'mon Guys lighten up, as I purposely didn't say anything
to 'HULIO 'cause Y'all know your Mum's saying 'bout if you've got NOTHING good
to say... Yet overall, it was a very
enjoyable experience 'N far better than my initial Champ Car outing 'Wayback in
'Twenty-oh-Six, so way to go IndyCar!
As Karmically! I ended
up getting A-L-L 3 of my most favourite IndyCar driver's autographs, i.e.;
Justin Wilson, Will Power & Simon Pagenaud! Although I'm also smitten with
Joseph Newgarden, so it was a memorable haul!
While I tend to
agree with Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen's assessment that Power wasn't bored,
he was nervous as HELL! After I'd informed her 'bout him crying over the radio
upon winning his debutant IndyCar title. Thus, I probably just reminded him of
the Gynormous pressure weighing upon his shoulders with my comment...
Still in the happy afterglow of collecting
half of the Indy Cars field's "John Hancock's" and with smile on
face, I told Claudio, Mission Accomplished; Thanxs dude!
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| Will Power "Hero Card" from this year's Sonoma IndyCar autograph session. (The Tomaso Collection) |
As about my only complaint for the
entire weekend, and I'm NOT politickin'
for any changes, but! the Turn-7 backside of track complex seemed woefully
inadequate in regards to providing any fan amenities, i.e.; there being NO video screens or loudspeakers to help keep us
informed of the On-track happenings, while who knows where the nearest
bathrooms are?
Although there was one lone PA System some
where's far behind us, nevertheless, I could barely hear I-T over the cacophony
'O racing machines... As I had ZERO idea
how far the track dropped away, until we
walked down 'N down row after row of concrete block seating to the lowest
allowable vantage point at Turn-7, where I could finally S-E-E tiny specks 'O
colour when the IndyCar's turned thru the corner!
So I really didn't know what happened during
the first Indy Lights race, and couldn't hear the results... Which would take until
Sunday to discover that Jack Harvey had walked I-T! (Saturday) With NO mention
of Gabby Chaves or Zack Veach; Hmm? Wonder what's up with the championship
battle.
Meanwhile, with NO offense towards the Pro
Mazda drivers, nevertheless, we skipped their race in order to run to the Loo' and grab some Team Caddy'
Swag; Uhm? This isn't supposed to be your Pappy's Caddy; Hooah! As Claudio informed
me I was getting a Cadillac Racing T-Shirt; Kapishe!
Now, I know the nice young lady was only
doing her job, after being informed I couldn't fill out the computer questionnaire
- since I couldn't S-E-E IT! Uhm? Shouldn't that have raised some Red-flags right there.
But it got even more Wacky 'N Wackier; Err
FUNNY! As the first Questione she asked me was What type of car do you drive?
As I stood there with white cane in hand, a smirk began sprouting upon my
face... Replying, a 1978 Ford Econoliner, naturally!
Then she asked, When do you plan to purchase
your next car? Oh, in about one year! And what type of Cadillac would you buy?
Are Y'all SEEING the madness to this yet? Then she kindly handed me my T-shirt
which I quickly handed over to Claudio...
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| Mystery bonus "Hero Card" from this year's Sonoma IndyCar Pirelli World Challenge support race competitors. (The Tomaso Collection) |
Hence, I was quickly escorted around the
corner's bend toot sweet where Claudio positioned me in front of the fence
where all of the various World Challenge participant's in their respective mounts
were waiting to go On-track in their different classes, as the row of NASTY,
rumblin' Ford Mustang BOSS's amongst others sat idling angrily while a lone
Dodge Viper drove by, and then I just stood there stupefied when the BAD ARSE
BOSS 302R-S dumped their clutches and rolled off onto the racing surface!
Back to our seats for a very entertaining
race consisting of several different classes, with 44-cars in all, as I managed
to catch one name from the past as the starting grid was read out from over yonder. Being the name of
ex-Trans Am competitor Jack Baldwin, who
I believe was driving the Audi R8?
And with the Tintops' larger silhouettes, I
could see their various rainbow 'O colours
the most vividly, albeit they were still just specs 'O colour to Mwah, along
with their varying mechanical tones, as
I'd later be told that the two nastiest, barking, growling V-8's were
the Caddy's, as I was completely dumbfounded when Claudio pronounced how the two Cadillac's had just been passed by a
Kia in the corner! Yep, you read that
right, a FREAKIN' Kia was outperforming
the Caddy's, although they re-passed the belligerent Kia the following lap...
But really, finding out that one of the Cadillac CTSV Coupe's chauffer's was
the talented "Johnny 'O," (O'Connell) a longtime GM Factory driver,
most notably for those all conquering Corvette's, what gives?
Then Claudio drifted off to talk to somebody
seated below us, as it turned out that the ultra BAD ARSE #17 "FoMoCo"
Boss (302R) Stang was being piloted by her Grandson. As it turned out that many
of the teams and their supporters were seated around us during the race.
Next, it was time for the Big Dawgs' IndyCar
Fast Six Qualifying session, as we were chagrined to see Montoya not advancing
into Round-2; WTF? As I explained the qualifying format as Claudio called out
the various car numbers for Mwah.
Having gotten up to give our Bums a respite
from the uninviting concrete slabs; Err seats during a break between Qualie
sessions, we went back down towards our
previous vantage point where we'd watched the ground shaking challenge cars
depart from, making a beeline for the "Honey Buckets" before quickly
walking a little ways back in-between the two areas.
'Thar, we decided to witness the Fast-6
Qualie' Shootout by standing at the end of the track's straightaway w/Will
Power & Co heading straight at us! As Power scored his 35th Pole, and he
looked untouchable for the next day's race!
Afterwards, we walked around the World
Challenge pits, where unquestionably, my Numero Uno racecar was the 'Ultra BAD
ARSE McLaren MP4-12C GT3! And to boot, there were three of these exquisite
racers on hand parked Arse-over Teakettle, with their respective Derriere's sticking
out a la Le Mans style.. As there's NOTHING wrong with my eyesight as I accidently
smacked my hand on what we deemed to be the "lunch-tray," the obligatory
rear spoiler that all cars seemed to be
running, when excitingly trying to point out something upon them to Claudio; YIKES!
Upon returning home, I've now discovered
another familiar name behind the wheel of one of the K-Pax Racing's McLaren
MP4-12C GT3's, as in one Alex Figge, who once upon a time was a Champ Car
driver...
Then we chatted with a very nice couple from Georgia, Me Thinks? As they were
racing a Porsche Cayman S which I thought they said had won its class. Funny
how it seemed like such a tiny racecar.
And if
Y'all think playin' "Follow duh Bouncin' Ball" in regards to
the four separate Tudor United Sports Car Championship classes, then try
figuring out World Challenge's SIX! As it took me forever to find what category
the Cayman's were contesting, as even funnier yet, Jack Baldwin was listed as
the driver of the #73 Porsche Cayman S in the GTS class, which most likely is
my favourite since its where the BOSS 302 R's reside!
As I'm a 'Wee bit 'Cornfuzed since apparently
there's six Driver's classes, i.e.; GT, GTA, GTS, TC, TCA and TCB for
competitors to choose from in the Showroom Stock derived classes.
Next, we had to check out the #17, as I
marveled over how BEEFY' the modern day Ford Mustang BOSS 302 R looks! And they
seem to be pretty popular with the competitors, as I know I heard multiple entrants listed over the far away PA system -
when the track was still relatively quiet before the World Challenge Storm!
Alas, whilst purusing the World Challenge's
website, I discovered that #17 is driven by Alec Uddel, not Ballwin; Hya! As
apparently he hails from Texas...
And the other car that attracted my
Attenzione to this SCCA sanctioned series is the Bentley, as a pair of
Continental GT3's are being campaigned for the factory by Dyson Racing under
the Team Bentley banner, with vastly experienced Sports Car Drivers Butch Leitzinger and
Guy Smith.
While there was a beautiful Lamborgenie'
(Lamborghini) Gallardo parked all by its lonesome, as NO idea if this was
ex-Formula 1 and Indy Racing League driver Tomas Enge's mount?
While another name from the past I recognize
is Tommy Drisi's, who's an ex-Trans Am and factory Corvette driver now apparently
running his own Aston Martin GT3 in the BIG DAWGS' GT class. Which features the
likes of Jonny O'Connell's Cadillac, CTSV, Butch Leitzinger's Bentley GT3, Alex Figge's McLaren
MP4-12C, Audi R8's, Ferrari 458 Italia GT3R, etc.
As not
sure what Aston Martin team it was? Probably one of the Vantage runners, perhaps; as Claudio reported that
one of the Aston Martin crew members told him that the cars are insured. All
crumpled/wrecked bodywork, etc is weighed, scrapped and the team then re-inbursed.
With the engine coming sealed directly from Aston's factory 'N it's a big NO-NO
to tamper with them!
AUTHOR'S NOTE
Upon returning
home 'N purusing thru my 'Mega stash 'O "Hero Cards," I was surprised
to find an extra added "Mystery" bonus card, i.e.; Pirelli World
Challenge team's Effort Racing who apparently run a brace "O Porsche 911
GT3R's, with Ryan "Razzle-Dazzle" Dalziel running with the B-I-G
'DAWGS )GT) & Michael Mills just
having won this year's GTA (Amateur) class
championship...
For
the "riveting" conclusion, see; The Tomaso Files: Buddy,Peter and Eleven 'lil Dozen IndyCar boyz - Fini!