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A Gleeful' Tomaso ponders how to pack A-L-L of his
"Stuff" acquired over the 2013 Austin F1 weekend into his suitcase!
(N & C' Photos)
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Which is exactly what I'll be doing today once
again, this time returning home from my third annual trek to thee OLD-est
IndyCar Blogger Geo. Phillip's favourite 'Twisty Texas track, nee Circuit Of
The Americas for the just concluded USGP; Baby...
As the following
story was jotted down upon returning from last year's hugely enjoyable outing
at COTA, where your humble No Fenders scribe - with the assistance of his trusty
"Seeing Eye Guide Dog Guy"
Claudio helped him trek about the facilities for another glorious 3-days!
TUES, (11/19/13)
Fortunately, I'd planned my exit us from
Austin correctly, opting to leave on Tuesday instead of Monday, which recorded
one of its two highest traffic days of the entire year with 21-22,000
passengers transiting thru Austin Bergstrom Int'l Airport; YIKES! Since a
typical day's amount of passengers transiting thru said airport averages
between 9-11,000, as I overheard somebody saying that the Thursday prior to the
Grand Prix was the busiest day of the year; Aye Karumba!
And as typical, it was another fascinating
trip in the confines of how many "Handlers" I passed thru simply to
fly home from Austin via Los Angeles to Seattle, since these dazes I cannot
seem to find any reasonably priced Nonstop flights cross country, hence
involving at least one layover some where's.
As this time there'd be a 'Mega-total of
23-people involved in my going Door-2-Door; CRIKEYS! This includes my GURR-REAT!!!
Hosts Claudio' & Nelie taking me to the airport; Check-in "Desk
Jockey, first "Meet & Assist Handler," 2 TSA $ecurity employees
and one Gate Agent taking me to board my first Aeroplane, a Boeing 737-800
model with FUCKINGLY RETARDED "SLIM"
Economy seats, as I was upgraded to a window seat for the 2hr 47min flight to
"The City of Angels..." As why in thee HELL do they make commercial
Aeroplane seats so FRIGGIN' ROCK HARD? As my "Gluteus Maximus" went
numb just about one hour into the duration of
our flight; BUTT I Digress!
Having boarded first in the half hour
pre-board ritual, and having barely sat down in my seat I was accosted by two
Flight Attendants wanting to know if there was anything they could do to make
my flight more enjoyable, etc. (Like leave me the FUCK alone 'Seesters!)
Can I take your cane Sir? NO! I'll put it in
my seat pocket. Oh? It folds? Yeah, just haven't had time to do so, to which
one of the two female flight attendants cheerily said: Before we cornered
you...
Having waited for the entire Aeroplane to disembark,
per usual, a black man walked up to me and said are you ready? As he took my bag and then my backpack and
walked me down the aisle holding his hand. Hmm? Perhaps he felt my unaccustomed
trepidation? As normally I have NO Problemas with anybody assisting Mwah, but
weirdly I became somewhat nervous with this particular 'Handler for reasons
unknown... As I still feel guilty about my internal reactions that day, since
when riding alone with him in the elevator A-L-L sorts 'O weird thoughts permeated
my brain...
Thus, this black man, who was super kind to me,
ended up telling me a story in the elevator, perhaps to appease me, teach me a
lesson or just tell me a story?
As he told me about his encounter in Boot
Camp as a Marine, when he'd been bunked with a scared white boy, who ultimately ended up throwing up upon
having to bunk with him - having never been around black people before...
Naturally becoming pissed-off when his Sergeant made him clean up his
bunk-mates vomit!
why had he done this? Because he wanted the
two men to work together and trust each other since as he rightly told me, a bullet knows NO colours! As he'd inform me
that he'd previously done two tours of duty in Iraq...
Ok, Tomaso, you're gonna get onto a van alone, but he's going to drop you
off at the terminal where there will be
somebody waiting for you, alright man...
As his forthrightness was totally opposite of
the Asian van driver who didn't say a
single Bloody word to Mwah, as we drove across the LA tarmac, still
thinking how RETARDED all of this was just to switch Aeroplanes!
Then I was greeted by the second "Meet
& Assist Handler" (Female) on the tarmac before being whisked inside
'N up an elevator - via wheelchair, then asked if I wanted to use the bathroom
before going to my gate? Yes.
Stopping at the bathroom she said go straight
which I did and she said NO! Turn right. As I fumbled along the wall to the
entry another female approached and instructed her to take me in there to which
she said I CAN'T GO inside there... Then a kind young man approached me and
guided me to a stall.
While I was still inside I heard a voice
calling Austin, Austin to which I ignored; since my name's Tomaso, albeit they
were actually calling for Mwah...
Then the same nice young man came inside and
directed me to the sink, got me a paper towel and guided me back outside to my
awaiting chariot, before I was wheeled to a waiting area for my next flight.
3 different wheelchair assistants fought over
taking me onto the Aeroplane - as they lined up all of us in wheelchairs and
took us down the ramp before I was escorted to my seat 20-B, this time a middle
seat.
Arriving in Seattle, I walked off myself with
somebody on cell phone breathing down my backside as I tried walking forwards
to the door before the flight attendants found some assistance for me, with the
first man telling me DON'T sweat the small stuff as I tried to move over to let
the man still totally self-absorbed 'N babbling on his cell phone by.
Another Gate Agent assisted me up the walkway
and then went and planted me in some seats at a totally different gate saying
it'd be 5-6mins before assistance would arrive.
This took 15+ minutes instead because my
final "Meet & Assist Handler" didn't know where I was sitting
since he'd simply been called to my arrival gate and had to search about the
concourse in order to find me, but he was a very nice man apologizing profusely
to which I said No Problema!
He then escorted me to the underground subway
that took us to baggage claim where my suitcase was just about to be
"Quarantined" by the baggage agents, before being escorted over to
Shuttle Express, where the friendly Check-in "Desk Jockey" welcomed
me back; Huh? Don't know who this Dude is since it was a woman last time...
He cheerfully told me it would be a balmy
34deg-f tonight; SHEISA! As I had gotten use to going sans coat 'N pants in
Austin the past week - where it'd tried breaking the 1938 temperature record race-day
with an expected high of 87deg-f! Hence, it was strange to Mwah to be sitting
on heated bench seats basically outside at Sea-Tac Int'l Airport...
And then my name was called by my cordial Van
Driver who drove me home in the "Share van" and escorted me to my
front door and wallah! Twenty-three persons later I was home from another
typical day of flying cross-country; WHEW!
This concludes our "Non-stop" service;
Err Tomaso rant about just some of the
typical trials 'N tribulations I experience when flying, albeit every trip's
different - as I have NO idea what I'll encounter this time, or what the
weather will be like; Blah-blah-blah...
After all, this year's Grand Prix has
been moved forward two weeks in order to go Head-to-Head vs. 'RASSCAR at Eddie
"Duh Goose" Gossage's 'lil Texas Motor Speedway racetrack...