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A more tranquil Tomaso tiptoes thru the Blue
Bonnets in Austin. (The Tomaso Collection)
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As A-L-L I could
say after trying to listen to my MOST BIZARO IMS Radio Network broadcast ever
from thee Barbers' was;
GET
YOUR SHIT TOGETHER INDYCAR!
Ah, here we are at the Month 'O May, Mother
Speedway's most hallowed time for which A-L-L I can say is, hopefully that old adage
of April Showers bring May Flowers will weave its magic over me...
BARBER SHEARS!
Won't go into minute detail over
Indycar.com's infuriating for Mwah Live Timing & Scoring webpage, which I
last vented about in;
It's just overly frustrating to a legally
blind 'Vurd Botcherer, or "Keyboard Warrior" as Ralph Sheheen calls
us - to constantly struggle with trying to listen to live IndyCar &Indy Lights practice, qualifying
and races which A-L-L have different methods for enabling their various
broadcasts to be heard over Zed Internetz...
Yet what really BLEW me away was when the IMS
Radio Network live broadcast of the Barber Motorsports Park qualifying session
went A-L-L HEIDI on us; WTF!
As I appreciated IndyCar shortening the time
between Qualie sessions in order to hopefully beat the impending rain; BUTT!
With virtually little warning, other than
Mark Graveley' James diatribe 'bout Indiana weather and when Yuhs can tell a
change is Ah-comin', along with Nicky
'Salt Yeoman's confirmation of sprinkles occurring... Nothing, Nada, Zip!
As inexplicably, and with ZERO warning, the
voices of Paul Page & Davey Hamilton were abruptly cut off and suddenly
Will Power's In-car camera feed began playing instead in the final 2mins of the
Final-12 Knockout session, with just Power's Chebbie lump winding up 'N down
thru its gears; WTF!
As either Yuhs had to BLOW your eardrums out
with the sound of the shrieking Bowtie engine in order to barely hear Team
Penske's Tim Cindric talking to Will Power over the radio or just listen to the
turbo engine instead audibly without the very muted In-car radio chatter.
This went on for the entire 10mins Fast Six Shootout leaving me virtually in the
DARK over what was occurring On-track since there was NO audio commentary available - which I just
sat in total disbelief over!
Then at 2:44PM Pacific, which was 4:44PM
Central or 5:44PM Eastern/NY/Indianapolis time, right CARPETS; Hya! Paul Page's
distant voice reappeared briefly, "Justin-time" to hand us over to
Pitlane for 'HULIO'S SILLY ARSE Pole Dance interview...
Then two minutes later, i.e.; 2:46PM the
sound QUIT again; WTF! As I just said ENOUGH! NO MAS! And DITCHED the broadcast
still shaking my head in total disbelief over what I'd just endured...
Especially since I had NO Freakin' idea of
who'd made the Fast Six Shootout or the overall results; SHEISA! As all I'd
heard after turning UP my speakers was Cindric telling Power "We're on the
Front Row..." And really DON'T know how IndyCar will ever truly become
popular again, especially with these types 'O shenanigans; Oh Never Mind!
Yet thanxs solely
to Geo. Phillips of Oil Pressure who was live at thee Barbers' and providing
updates via his Oil Pressure blog, I ascertained after the fact that there had
been a Lightning strike warning which effected the Fast Six Shootout...
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| John Andretti, "The King" (Richard Petty) and Dreyer & Reinbold unveil the RPM No. 43 racecar for the 2009 Indy 500. (Image source: motorsport.com) |
MAY IS HERE...
Now that my angst towards another botched IMS Radio Network
broadcast is over, as cannot say how frustrated towards Indy Cars in whole I
initially was, going so far as to mentally note April 25th as the day I lost
any remaining zeal towards the series; YIKES!
Yet with that said, it was GURR-REAT!
Hearing both Derek Daly, who joined Paul
Page and Davey Hamilton in the booth,
along with Conor (Daly) on Pitlane later both so jubilant about securing the
third Schmidt Peterson Motorsport ride for Indy, as I'm just really smitten by
Conor's humbleness...
Conor will be driving the hallowed No. 43 at
Mother Speedway which was last piloted by "Gentleman John" (Andretti)
for Dreyer & Reinbold Racing, as ironically John was also a guest in the booth that April day.
As
another entertaining tidbit was
divulged by John Andretti, who'd help put together the "Stinger Car,"
which I'd seen at IMS's Hall of Fame museum back in 2013, noting that it'll be
auctioned off during next year's 100th running of the Indy 500 with all
proceeds going to St Judes...
Yet I swear, for each time I get JAZZED' over
IndyCar's, I either hear or experience something that turns me back off once
again. As I find it quite disappointing that after having blissfully
skipped Trackside with Kevin & Cavin for nearly a year's time, when tuning
in for Hour-2 'Wayback on April 21st, I was disturbed to hear Kevin Lee making
a mockery out of how basically Indy Cars only fans are the Midwest states and
California... Hmm? Let's say, I Dunno, what about Oh 'KanaDuh for starters
Messer Lee? Not to mention some Keyboard
Warrior here in the Pacific Northwest; ACK!
And all of the pre-Indy conjecture over how
Honda's simply concentrating on Indianapolis and their Oval Aerokits is NUTS!
As Marco Andretti rightly sez', it's the Elephant in the Room right now, as
Hondres' taken a shellacking during the first four races, since I began
scribblin' this prior to the mesmerizing Angie's List Indy GP Road-race.
As I find that PR-Speak to be Poppy-cock!
Really Honda? You wanna get BEAT by Chevrolet on the Road & Street courses
which make up the majority of the truncated IndyCar season; WTF!
As prey-tell, hopefully Dale Coyne has
figured out; Err announced who his remaining two-thirds driver lineup is, eh?
Along with the 'TAG (Alex Tagliani) drive at A.J. Foyt having been confirmed,
giving us 34-entries, meaning one entrant's
gonna not be happy come the end of "Boomp Day;" Err end of
qualifying, pre ORGASMIC Fast Nine Pole Shoot-out, which I WON'T bother
watching this year, since that 2hr Infomercial Hypefest left me frothing at thy
mouth last year...
Thus,
I'm rooting for my Four Musketeers this May,
albeit I don't belief any of them will win, but nonetheless, I'm pulling
for Justin B-I-G' UNIT Wilson, Conor Daly, Brian Clauson and Buddy Lazier,
while I'd also be contented with any of the three CFH Racing Boyz, aka Joseph
Newgarden, 'FAST EDDIE (Ed Carpenter) or J.R. Hildebrand drinking milk in
victory lane.
OOPSADAISY!
How could I forget
thee "Mayor 'O Hinchtown" (James Hinchcliffe) Carlos 'Silk Munoz or
Oriel "Suitcase" Servia and 'TAG (Alex Tagliani) from my list of
preferred winners, eh?
HELL! I'd even be happy with Ryan
Hunter-Reay; GASP! 'TK Follow-your-Schnoz! Or Scott Dixon Winning again, just
so long as anybody besides 'HULIO wins...
