I find it a 'Wee bit funny, since after all,
obviously there are much more extreme Indy 500 Diehards (like Stormin' Norman
who was attending his 42nd Indy 500) then your humble No Fenders scribe is,
especially having grown up as a 'Twisty Devotee, at such forlorn tracks as
Seattle International Raceway, now known
again as Pacific Raceways, Portland International Raceway, which I know
intimately from attending over two decades of IndyCar, IMSA GTP &
Historics' races at. Along with Vancouver BC's Concord Pacific Place street
circuit Zoom-Zoomin' past Science World to name just a few...
Author's
Note
I scribbled the following story immediately upon my
return from Indianapolis last May below, before IT all slipped away! And like
many of thy fine vintages here in thou NoFendersville Cellars, I simply haven't
had time to uncork I-T yet! But what better way to start thee New Year then
with some IndyCar bubbly 'Wee-Wee!
Especially whilst your humble No Fenders scribe
continues enjoying a long weekend in The Valley of The Sun - Before traipsing
back to Thy soggy climes 'O Seattle...
 |
|
Where'd A-L-L the Fans go? Empty Grandstand picture
taken after the second Centennial race in 2011. The Tomaso Collection)
|
99th
Indy 500
Thou must say, like Indy Cars old-EST blogger Geo. Phillips, it seemed quite sad to be going home Tuesday morning, (May 26) not to mention how after A-L-L of the month's long winded Hoopla, Pomp 'N Circumstance, etc, that I-T was all over in the length of a overly longish Leonardo DiCaprio feature film on the B-I-G' SCREEN, a scant three-plus hours after Mary Hulman George gave the command, with assistance from other family members for the field to start your en-juns! With of course the obligatory 17-extra FREAKIN' minutes for CAPITALI$M; Err commercialism...
And I WON'T rehash the race itself, since I
was rootin' for Will Power to win, but am absolutely fine with Juan Pablo
Montoya's deserved victory, once again showing his mastery of Oval racing,
along with teaching the "Young Bucks" to respect their elders; Hooah!
With an average finishing position of 2.33, on the heels of two wins and one
fifth place in his three starts.
As I'll defer
Y'all to Geo' Phillips typical Yeoman like Straight Shootin' Race recap, since
he's already done the requisite "Heavy lifting..."
Nope, instead I'll focus upon other aspects
of my latest visit to Mother Speedway - whilst trying to not get quite as
overtly pissed off at Starship HC's (Hulman & Co) 'Fumblin, Bumblin' and definitely
Stumblin Farce de Tour of BULLSHIT maneuvers pulled upon us, those loyal Fans
they keep thanking; "Wink-Wink, Nudge-Nudge" like I did 'Wayback in
2013; Chirp-Chirp, Bueller?
Arriving Thursday evening, after an extremely
long day of flying Coast-to-Coast after having awoken at a very rude Oh-My-Freakin'
Gawd! -DARK 30, having been somewhat awake for 15+ hours; SHEISA! No Fenders
'Offical Photographer 'CARPETS collected Mwah from the Airport and
appropriately decided we should dine none other than at someplace receiving
much media Attenzione, along with a one certain departing Late Show Host's
giving his entire audience FREE Milkshakes on his show during the Month 'O May!
Yep, that's right, we dined at an obligatory
Steak 'N Shake in Greenwood, for which Dave; Dave's NOT Here; Hooah! Pointed
out to Mwah that Graham Rahal was standing
in the door waiting to greet me; Uhm? Or a cardboard cutout caricature instead.
Naturally, I opted for one of their world
famous milkshakes along with a traditional single steak burger and thinly
sliced French fries...
Arising again at an untypical early morning
hour for Mwah, after our fine 'Kuhnaidiuns from Up North eh! Had made the drive
from thee "Mayor 'O Hinchtown's" (James Hinchcliffe) Hometown in 12hrs straight the day before...
the four of us set off for Mother Speedway
and another very enjoyable outing at Carb Day, as I too, always feel a 'Wee bit
nostalgic when hearing the Indy Cars roar to life for the first time of the
year in person during what is their final practice session before the B-I-G'
DANCE!
As it was very enjoyable watching the action
from behind Pitlane, sitting between Justin B-I-G' UNIT Wilson and Oriel
"Suitcase" Servia's pits, whom I'd later have the privilege of
meeting after practice had ended when CARPETS' asked me if I wanted to meet
Oriel? Uh Duh, Dude; Hya!
As surely Oriel was a bit taken off guard
when I asked him if he'd had his daily espresso yet? After shaking his hand thru the fence as he
told me how beautiful of a city Seattle was.
Oh, I only had one espresso this morning
before we said our goodbyes, as I thought it was a better Questione than if he
preferred the "OOMPH!" Of an full blooded turbocharged IndyCar over the
silent Formula E machinery he manages for Jay 'Pissenbootz Penske's Dragon
Racing team, eh?
Then we stood along the Pitlane fence for the entire Indy Lights
race, where I could just see blurbs 'O color scream by, albeit being very disappointed
that there weren't any "One-off"
additions for their biggest race
of the year, as twelve cars just isn't a real motor race!
Afterwards, we decided to walk around, and entering
Gasoline Alley Dave said turn left and "BOOMP!"
Keep going, then telling me very casually that the person in the pink fuzzy's (Premium
Vodka) polo was somebody named Tony George; Hooah! As never in my wildest
dreams did I think I'd get to meet tony Up Close 'N Personal; Hya! Hey, Mr.
George, can't you S-E-E that I'm blind; Hooah! As I did have my white cane in
hand...
 |
| Davey Hamilton proudly sporting his No Fenders limited 1st edition T-shirt at Indianapolis - July, 2007. (The Tomaso Collection) |
Having chronicled Davey's racing accomplishments
previously in: DaveyHamilton - Postscript
HOLY SHIT! Can I-T
already be nearly eight years ago since that glorious experience at Mother Speedway; SHEISA!
And Dave
had spotted Derrick Walker in discussion with two young ladies, as we waited to
talk to him, before Dave said he thought one of the ladies bracelets must have broken and it must have had some fancy diamonds
on it 'cause they're being real serious looking for them! As everybody's on the
ground on their hands 'N knees, even
some ABC Supply crewmen are searching. Should we go over and offer your
services Tomaso; Hya!
Then, we milled around a little while during
the Pit stop contest, watching the various teams go by on their way to compete
in that event that I find to be the most
boring part of the day; Err weekend!
Having agreed to meet the 'Hosers ('KuhNucks)
an hour later at our favourite waterin'
hole, the iconic Flagroom, which much to our dismay, although not overly
surprising to Mwah, upon our arrival Rob & Mark dejectedly told us it was
CLOSED; FUCK!
As Rob has been going there since the late
1990's, along with A-L-L of the Formula 1 races, having sat next to the 'Wee Scot, JYS or 'Sir
Jackie, formally known as three times F1
world champion Jackie Stewart; Aye Karumba!
And did he mention that "The
Professor," aka Alain Prost had been spotted there too? Or the various
Formula 1 teams dropping in for a drink, while I myself have had the pleasure
of meeting Danny Ongais, Buddy Lazier,
"Uncle Bobby," (Bobby Unser) 'BIA (Ana Beatriz) and
"symona-Symona" (simona de Silvestro) along with the legendous' late "Dr. Who" multiple times there.
Which is why I get
overly tired of the obligatory "Thank the Fans" "PSA"
(Public Service Announcement) Message, which I most recently heard Doug Bowles
bestowing repeatedly upon us over race weekend; BARF!
as the Brickyard Crossing's Flagroom, which
is steeped in tradition, with my being a relative "Newbie" too, being
first introduced in 2007, when I stayed
at the Brickyard Crossing Inn (Hotel) before its demise too... Has been for the
four-six of us a yearly haunt to spend considerable Dinero and time
frequenting, like many, many others have done over the decades. As I previously
scribbled my displeasure in the following rant;
As rumours claim that the Flagroom's making way
for the building of new luxury suites alongside Turn-2, as the Gentrification
'O Mother Speedway continues with the never ending squeezing more profits out
of the venerable flagship property,
As sadly, this ruining of tradition, which is
sacrilege at best, makes me think of Sir
Jackie's comments of F1 needing to keep its historic venues, i.e.; France,
Germany and Italy on the calendar instead of wallpapering the sport with
tasteless, sterile "Cookie Cutter" racetracks in far flung Desert Oasis
where people aren't interested or able to afford the opulence of Formula 1. To
which I say Ditto IMS!
But this legendary building's fate is already
sealed as Mark "I've Got a Plan!" Miles and J. Douglas Bowles look to maximize
profits under every Culver paver; Err Brick. Oh Never Mind!
IMAGES
Empty Grandstand Photo Courtesy of No Fenders
‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS.
Davey Hamilton picture purchased from IMS
Photograph Shop after 2-Seater ride.