Friday, April 29, 2016

Where'd they Go?



Although I've been Harangued for my witty repartee recently, nonetheless, just couldn't resist continuing...

Was readin'; Err listening to my NFB Newsline for The Blind telephone News service to The Guardian's Sports section recently, and was surprised to hear that John Jones had been arrested in Albuquerque, New Mexico for Drag Racing; Huh? Always wondered what happened to him, eh?

As I seem to recollect that Jones was a pretty decent racer who  took a spell in one of Jack Roush's 'Uber NASTY Ford Mustang Trans Am racecars, along with a brief stint in Indy Cars, albeit 'Wayback in Thy CART era -  not to mention winning the1988 Championship Auto Racing Teams (CART) Rookie Of the Year honours.

What's that? Y'all say I'm having a case 'O mistaken identity? Or perhaps showing off once again just how far back my IndyCar Spectating reaches? What, Yuhs mean the John Jones booked into Thy Gray Bars du Albuquerque was ex-Light Heavyweight Mixed Martial Arts Fightin' Star Jonathan "Sexual Chocolate" Jones instead; Hya!


Since like I said, I just couldn't help myself, since how many people do you think of when they hear the name John Jones today think of Oh KanaDuh's Thunder Bay, Ontario native instead? But then again, how many know of Mr. John Jones, not to be Cornfuzed with 'Ol Rufus Parnelli Jones - the fighter instead, since pretty sure Parnelli wasn't bashful 'bout mixing I-T up either, right?

And when I think of Albuquerque and Fightin', naturally Uncle Bobby springs to mind, as the Unser's are pretty notorious for Brawlin' and getting their way in the town synonymous with The Unser's. As Uncle Bobby once punched an Albuquerque Police Officer and stole an Army tank amongst other notorious High jinx! While his brother Big Al's NO Saint neither...

and then there's Al's son Alfred Junior, not to be Cornfuzed with "Just Al," aka Alfred Unser III, who's Al Unser Jr's son - as I was a UGE' Fan 'O 'lil Al's in the early 1990's, when my generation seemingly were either Michael Andretti or Al Unser Jr. Fans, a la the Foyt v Andretti divide of thy Generation previously.

As I still chuckle today over how IndyCar Mechanics of past, when Gearboxes were actually manually shifted by hand! The Gearbox mechanics could tell if it was an Andretti or Unser Crashbox simply by whether or not the gears were mangled! But I digress...

As unfortunately, I long ago lost thou luster over 'lil Al, who cemented my disgust for the gifted racing driver when he struck then girlfriend Gina and left her stranded on the roadside after a Drinking Bender at a Strip Club in Nevada! For which we certainly don't need to rehash anymore...


As I'm quite certain there's plenty good to be found in Albuquerque, since I fanticise 'bout taking a trip there solely to visit the wonderful Unser Racing Museum!

While I'm fairly certain its pure Co-inky-dense? That Curty Cavin of IndyStar fame, who's doing an excellent series titled Trip Down Victory Lane, chronicling past living Indy 500 winners happened to release 'lil Al's story just days after Jon Jones incarceration for Drag Racing in Albuquerque NO less - which 'lil Al knows plenty 'bout!

As it's a good story, for which I got a good laugh outta 'lil Al having to learn how to do his own laundry at age 50! Must be rough, eh? As hopefully the Doggies will help him match-up his socks; Hya!


Also thanxs to Curt Cavin, via a recent Pit Pass article, I learned that Al Unser, Jr. would be competing in this year's Toyota Pro Celebrity race during the just concluded Long Beach Grand Prix weekend.

Little Al's won the Long Beach IndyCar race a record six times., which should have been seven, except for his team-mate 'Ol Hollywood, aka Danny Sullivan going Ironhead on him, giving him the Long Beach shuffle en route to victory in 1992!

Whilst Junior's also won the Celebrity race three times and it would be befitting for the "King of The Beach" to win what apparently will be the fortieth and final Toyota Pro Celebrity race - as Toyota's moving to Plano, Texas shortly...

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Psst, wanna buy a Driver's license?



While this is absolutely NOT funny at A-L-L, you've got  to admit it's rich, since it regards FIA President Jean Todt's Pet Project, for which he's been rightly accused of spending way to much of the Formula One Circus's time & resources upon, with F1 and Road Safety being somewhat counter culture at the very least eh?

But the most ironic part of this is how Formula 1's traipsing off to Azerbaijan this summer to host a Grand Prix not only on the same weekend as the legendary 24 Heurs du Mans, but also in a country whose roadside deaths are five times higher than the UK's; where reportedly anybody can buy a Driver's license on the Subway! As how's that road safety working out Monsieur Todt?

And that's before we even get to the countless Human Rights violations, numerous Political Prisoners or denying The Guardian access to report upon last year's European Games! But who said Sports aren't Political; Oh Never Mind!

Now Who's the Greatest F1 Driver of All?



This was sent to me recently by Arizona Correspondent Snowbyrd MJ, which regards a new scientific study determining who the greatest Formula 1 Driver of All-time is after using new analytics for the results. Which the Numero Uno choice isn't a shock, there are some other surprises regarding who made the Top 100 and where...

Mallya on The Run...



Really? As this AIN'T NO Surprise to Y'all F1 Revheads...

As I find the title of The Guardian's story A 'Wee bit misleading, since we've known for some time now that Vijay Duh Playah's been hiding in Thy United Kingdom, not to mention having not traveled to any Grands Prix this year for obvious reasons...

NO! For Mwah, the biggest surprise is that Indian Authorities not only thought Mallya would cooperate, but that he's apparently got quite a bit 'O his fortune left - since did I read that right? The co-owner of Force India offered to pay back $600m of the $1.34b as in Billion, but Indian authorities turned him down!

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Where Art Thouest Thirty Years Ago tis' Day?



Today marks the 30th anniversary of arguably one of the world's worst disasters, when the ill-fated Chernobyl Nuclear facility suffered catastrophic Meltdown!

As noted above, today in Pripyat, (Ukraine) a terrible catastrophe occurred, which the  then USSR, nee Mother Russia' for which Pripyat was then one of its subjects - turned a blind eye towards, by not only being slow to react, with evacuation orders not coming for 36hrs! But also allowing the annual May Day parade to occur five days later in Kiev - while only admitting some damage had happened at Chernobyl in a tersely worded statement - only after Sweden had threatened to tell the International Atomic Agency fallout had occurred!


As I can only imagine what these pictures depict, since what other types of birth defects have they caused besides cancer? Which strangely is one of the most lucrative pharmaceutical drug making businesses in the United States today...


And where did five years G-O? When I last wrote upon Thy 25th Anniversary of Chernobyl, when HVM Racing and Simona de Silvestro were in the midst of running their Glow in The Dark Entergy Clean Air car...


Although the All Electric, Meanest-Greenest Formula E racing series hadn't made its debut yet, which I have nothing against except the fact that it seems nothing's ever been divulged about where the power to charge Thy batteries comes from, let alone their manufacturing processes, waste disposal, etc. Which reminds me of another storied buried in Thy No Fenders repository when Claire mentioned the polluted manufacture & disposal of tyres!

Whilst everyone, including myself is caught up in the Mesopotamia 'O F1 Musical  Chairs Qualie, and thou redundancy 'O Thy Power Units NOT being L-O-U-D enough!

For which I'm totally happy with the lower number  of Decibels, although perhaps Formula 1's Baby Boomers are simply getting harder of hearing, EH?

And I'm very impressed by their technology, for which the Sport's cutting-edge technology was a large drawing point! As the thermal efficiency improvement to nearly 50% is phenomenal!

Yet nary a peeps' made over this , whilst I-T still seems like on so many levels F1's sending a mixed message. Like why in thee HELL isn't the field being paced by a 'Uber SWEET Hypercar, i.e.; Hybrid technology? Not to mention once again A-L-L the manufacturing processes, disposal and correlating environmental issues, i.e.; battery charging power derived from Nuclear, Coal, Natural Gas or Fossil Fuels?

While I haven't even touched upon Fukushima, which along with Chernobyl are the only two acknowledged Nuclear accidents rated at level-7, the highest rating possible! Or what's known here in Eastern Washington as Downwinders syndrome from someplace called  Hanford; Can Y'all say Manhattan Project and Plutonium!

Whilst I wasn't aware of the fact that Sweden, Ya Sure Yuh Betcha! Had been mightily affected by Chernobyl's radiation cloud due to wind currents, or that they'd pushed the Soviet Union to actually divulging something had occurred...


Alas, since this is supposed to be a motor racing BLOB' as Thy late 'Awntie Harriet christened I-T! Putting thingys' into perspective, as my Chernobyl post (above) of five years ago denotes, it was Business as Usual in Formula 1, as the late Ayrton Senna had just captured Pole aboard his  Lotus-Renault before Thy San Marino Grand Prix took  place the following day, Sunday April 27, 1986!

Not to mention the first ever Formula 1 race occurring behind the very same "Iron Curtain" later that summer in Budapest...

Meanwhile the CART/PPG IndyCar series had contested the first two rounds of the '86 season, beginning at Phoenix International Raceway on April 6th, which Kevin Cogan won - followed by a much younger Michael Andretti taking victory upon Thy streets  of Long Beach April 13th, a Fortnight before the disaster of Chernobyl.

As both winners were busy scoring their debutant IndyCar victories, as it  would be Cogan's, or is that THAT DAMN COOGAN? Hya! Lone B-I-G CARZ' win, while Mikey A' would score 41-more times, en route to third most IndyCar career victories, (42) a mere three ahead of some Dude named Scott Dixon, who's currently tied with BIG AL' (Unser Sr.) for fourth-most career wins. (With Mario Andretti second with 52 and A.J. Foyt Top Banana with 67 career wins overall...)

As Championship Auto Racing Teams next race wouldn't occur until May 31st at someplace in Indianapolis, where Bobby Rahal would ultimately drink Thy milk in victory lane after a late-race restart pass of then leader Cogan, and the rest as they say is history.

Hmm? Although obviously NOT related, isn't I-T ironic that Rahal's team owner Jim Trueman passed away from cancer just eleven days later, like countless Russian civilians have also succumbed due to radiation exposure from Chernobyl...