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Champ Car Driver Ryan Hunter-Reay at Pocono
Raceway, circa '04. (Source: Bing.com Images)
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Yeah, I know we're supposed to be A-L-L Slap
Happy, Rainbowz 'N Bunnies over the coronation of Indy Cars finally going Green
once again with the start of racing this weekend at St Pete, Florida.
Yet, I'm finding myself more intrigued over
the nebulous proceedings of a past Champ Car owner v current Floridian
resident, than Starship HC's NOISE machine; Hey! We're Getting Better;
Blah-blah-BLAHITY-Blah! No, seriously, our cellar dwelling TV Ratings have gone
up; Chirp-Chirp, Bueller?
As I'm guessing my intrigue is somewhat in
tune to rivaling the overtly long, harsh, cold, wet, windy, snowy 'N blustery
winter we've had here in Seattle - OH CRAP! Now it's Hailing as I scribble this;
but I digress...
Perhaps you've heard the news over Paul
GOOFY! Gentilozzi's unscrupulous tactics towards honouring "The
Dude's!" aka Ryan Hunter-Reay's contract recently?
Although I'm thinking my long standing
nickname of the Ironhead Intimidator loving Michigonians' a total disservice to
that LUV' able Walt Disney character, Eh!
For the record, I've never been a Fan of Paul
MEATHEADZ' Gentilozzi's, despising him as far back as his driving days in the SCCA Pro Racing's
Trans Am series, where he ran the No. 3 presumably in deference to the late
Dale Earnhardt Sr. - For which I-T now
appears my feelings were warranted.
Whilst I'll never forgive RHR for Bullying
his ARSE past Oriol "Suitcase" Servia, prompting me to call Ryan
"BULLY-RAY" here in Nofendersville for quite awhile...
Yet the most recent case of Team Bosses on
this side of thou proverbial Puddle, tossing their contracted drivers like pieces
of discarded Driftwood indelibly etched in my cranium belongs to Jay
PISSENBOOTZ' Penske's ugly sacking of Thy Leggy Juan', aka Katherine Legge.
Although team owners aren't the only ones
breaking contracts, although I've got NO clue on who's the Bad Guy in the just
announced outcome of "Jimmy" (Gianmaria) Bruni's contested release from la Scuderia,
nee Ferrari.
But what little I've discerned implies it was
the Italian driver wishing to break his newly signed multi-year contract
extension, in order to get his wish and be snapped up by rival Sports Cars
manufacturer Porsche.
Yet the story about Gentilozzi's nebulous
dealings with Hunter-Reay made me flashback to the young Texans' beginnings in
Champ Car, which I more frequently called Chump Carz', having even penned a
story titled As The World 'O Chump Carz' Turns...
Recalling his rookie season in the totally
unsponsored American Spirit Team Johansson Reynard/Ford's in the final season
of CART, where his team-mate was Top Jimmy', (Vasser) with the duo running the
uncompetitive Reynard's for 'lil Stevie Johnson with just Jimmy & Ryan on
their respective Sidepods.
As Championship Auto Racing Teams was in a
spending war to cross the Bankruptcy finish line first! Although TG' would have
to wait a further four years to finally get his way...
Yet Hunter-Reay scored his debutant B-I-G
CARZ' victory Down Under in unpredictable weather conditions, equalizing the
lowly Reynard's vs. the dominant Lola's.
The following season, Ryan moved to Herdez
Competition, where he scored his second win at the famed Milwaukee Mile. Finishing
a respectable ninth place overall, albeit
four spots behind team-mate Mario Boom-Boom! Dominguez and one spot behind
Vasser, who'd moved onto PKV Racing.
Thus, where the story gets Weird, is what
happened at Rocketsports, which indeed is also RSR, not to mention I recall a
brief metamorphous as RSports' when briefly merging operations with RuSport;
but I digress...
Obviously some part of the story's not being
told, as why MEATHEADZ' dumped RHR in favour of Michael McDowell for two races
and a $150,000 cheque. Since surely Gentilozzi was aware of his contract with
RHR seems quite baffling.
Although I'll confess that I don't recall
this occurring Wayback then, especially since it seemed like Chump Carz' had a
different Driver line-up every race! Making Dale Coyne's current revolving door
policy quite quaint; Hya!
Funny how I was
reacquainting Thyself with Mr. McDowell's bio' when I inadvertently turned on
Thy Telie for some ambient noise during lunch to the sound of Taxicabs from
DayToner and Shuhzamm! There's Duh Booth Boyz' noting Michael McDowell running
fifth...
And even funnier yet is the career of
McDowell, who apparently was a BAD ARSE Open Wheel Racing Driver becoming
another victim of The Split! Along with finding his way to the employment of
another Bombastic Team Owner simply known as Mikey Ah Shucks' Waltrip; BARF!
As WaltRip's tenure as a team owner, including
multiple bouts of Cheating! Along with a deceptive sponsor; Can Y'all say
5-Hour Energy's NO, it's NOT caffeine...
Like why in thee HELL is WaltRip not only
allowed in the Paddock and race track, but still On Air! Which suddenly makes
Gentilozzi's behaviour look slightly less egregious, right? Uhm, there's
Somme-thun' caught in my throat, BULLS!
Yet perhaps Paul should have noticed the
outcome of whom I'm now calling Broom Hilda', nee Monica Quiltingberg', aka Monisha Kaltenborn's recent
transgressions, albeit his came way earlier!
As the
Sauber F1 Team Principal, a lawyer by profession NO less, found out the hard
way of trying to ignore the dried ink of
driver contracts recently in what I called "Driver Gate." Noting Hell
hath NO Fury as a Dutchman Scorned, as just ask Giedo van der Garde!
Although van der Garde
rightly won his lawsuit, he ultimately lost the War, since Formula 1 doesn't
approve of its underlings; Err drivers thinking they've got the upper hand!
Then again there's a reason why F1 has a Contracts Recognition Board...
Meanwhile, I applaud Hunter-Reay's tenacity,
both on and off the track, which is why he's begrudgingly received my recent
admiration, as I was especially rootin' for him to beat HULIO' that day at
Mother Speedway!
As RHR seems like he's been most civil thru
the entire overtly long, drawn-out
affairs of Gentilozzi's Machiavellian maneuvers, leaving his sons out of the
mess, along with not mucking up Lexus's debut GTD (Daytona) class outing.
As I'd have gone for the juggler, a la "Guido the Dutchman," (van der Garde)
sending Bailiffs to impound Sauber's
chassis in Melbourne, and asking for Monisha Kaltenborn to be incarcerated;
YIKES!
So C'mon Gentilozzi, Pay Up! As it could be
somewhat more embarrassing for your new benefactor Toyota if their shiny new
Lexus R FC GT3 cars couldn't hypothetically go racing at Sebring!
And speaking 'O
racing, let's G-O! And like 'Ol Bob Varsha used to say: Turn U-P the Volume!
And let's light a candle on the 2017 IndyCar season...
SHUHZAMM!
Just mere Days after I'd scribbled this story and
loaded I-T to the No Fenders story hopper, news broke of Paul MEATHEADZ'
Gentilozzi's latest Stalling tactics in NOT paying Ryan Hunter-Reay the now
$3.3m judgment against him for wrongful termination Wayback in '07!
As Gentilozzi's really making me SICK over how it
appears that perhaps Chump Carz was just a Rich man's hobby; Hmm? Perhaps
simply a tax shelter for the likes 'O Gentilozzi & Company hiding their
money; SPEW!
As presumably the only way RHR can get Gentilozzi's
full Attenzione will be by having the 3GT Racing's Lexus R FC GT3's impounded
prior to Sebring...