My Darling, that sure is a Purdy Shade 'O red
you're wearin', Now where's my Cup 'O Tea?
A fortnight before this year's season Opening
2018 Australian Grand Prix, per Tipicali, I began Huntin' and Huntin' for when
the race would be airing Stateside on its new home, the Disneying' Shopping
Networks channels, who's primary focus is "Stick 'N Ball" Sports here
in Good 'Ol Americre'; BARF!
As ABC's Cross
Promotion during the St Pete IndyCar race was woefully Pathetic! As I only
caught one lame commercial break spot during the entire race's annoyingly 4-6
minute Vignettes 'O racing; URGH! Before the lead announcer Haphazardly mentioned
it briefly towards the end of the broadcast...
And I must say my initial Gut feelings were
NOT good! As seriously? It's the season opener Down Under, so surely it'll be
aired upon the B-I-g' ABC Network channel, Righto?
STEEE-RIKE 1!
Well Otay, then surely on its Flagship ESPN
Cable TV channel; Chirp-Chirp, Bueller?
STEEE-RIKE 2!
Uhm, this is getting Annoying! Ah-Ha, found
I-T! As lookie Thar', it's back on the cable channel I used to affectionately
call Duh Duesch! During Formula 1's first go around on ESPN2, with wait for it.
A Staggering 3hrs and 5mins of dedicated Broadcast time in the middle 'O night for
the entire weekend's event...
At least that was
what my Zap-2-It' telephone TV Guide listed when I originally checked my local
listings...
STEEE-RIKE 3! YOU'RE OUT LIBERTY MEDIA!
Thus, with this apparent 50% Reduction in
Air-time, for which the main reason I continue breaking Thy Piggybank each
Month to pay comca$t for ridiculously OVERPRICED Cable TV service. Is to primarily be able to
watch; Err listen to Formula 1 and Indy Cars on Thy Telie!
Not to mention the lack of the
traditional Friday's airing of (Free
Practice) FP2 or apparently any race replay, I was so absolutely PISSED OFF
that I spent several hours Fuming I'd simply be giving Liberty Media's Dudley
Duo Chevy Chase (Carey) and Sean Brickity' Bratches along with Formula 1 the
infamous Will Power Double Byrd Salute!
Along with simply saying FUCK YOU Formula 1 after 30 Full Seasons of
Religiously watching my Numero Uno Sport on Thy Telie...
Although I vowed
I'd at least give 'em a chance, and wait 'N see if it was as Horrific as I
thought it would be?
Since I simply
couldn't figure out how they'd be able to squeeze in the now Obligatory Thank
The Fans - Insert Country Here Post Qualie' and Race Podium interviews into
Thar Shrunken Broadcast...
Qualifying
Friday, March 23rd
Network: ESPN2
- 10:55-11:20PM Uninterrupted Qualie' Q1 Session.
- Commercials: 7+ minutes
- 11:27-11:42PM Uninterrupted Qualie' Q2 Session.
- Commercials: 6+ minutes
- 11:48PM-12:17AM Uninterrupted Qualie' Q3 Pole Shootout session
Having waited the entire day, and trying Not
to Fall Asleep before thou Sandman arrived...
As the lead Announcer's name was never
mentioned, (again) having missed it when the Broadcast began five minutes
"early," since I hadn't checked my TV Guide, for which the times had
been modified; SIGH!
Although I'd instinct fully changed channels
at approximately 10:55PM Pacific, I missed the Show Intro', with the unknown to
Mwah voice saying take it away Martin Brundle... Who'll forever be known to
Mwah as Martin "Billybob" Brundle from his IROC Days here Stateside a
long, long time ago!
Yet somewheres' towards the end of the
broadcast, when throwing it down to Thar Pitlane Reporter Theodore "Not
Lenny!" Kravitz, Ted said back to you "Kroftie," which made me
guess it must be David Kroft, as I'd recently Goggled' Sky Sports F1 TV
Broadcasters; but I digress...
As I'll admit I was just mostly relieved,
after partaking the first episode of Formula 1 on The Walt Disney Trio of Sports
R Us Networks, i.e.; ABC and ESPN/ESPN2.
Peanuts! Get Your Peanuts, Crackerjax' Here!
Having Cringed when the Red Flag came out for
Valtteri Bottas NARLY Shunt in Q3! Since I was already concerned with the 12min
Qualie' Q3 Pole Shootout segment beginning at 11:48PM Pacific, (on my Talking
Clock) that it wouldn't leave anytime to hear the Top-3 Qualifiers
afterwards...
And then with Bottas crash, I ARSE-Sumed' Duh
Duesh' would revert to Days 'O Yesteryear, and simply switch over to Women's Golf,
Hockey, Curling or whatever Stick 'N Ball Sport's more important...
So at least I was pleased that F1 got to run
long for once, and we even got to hear the familiar voice of thou 'Wee Willie
Buxom, (Will Buxton) former NBC Sports F1 Pitlane Reporter interviewing the
Top-3 Bananas...
Hmm? Isn't it nice to hear Golden Child Thank
Uhm, what Country are we in Now? As I'm Shaking Inside Man! Whilst thee
Iceman's legendous', Dry Monosyllabic tone required me to turn U-P the volume!
And 'lil sid Viddle was his typical Smirking JackArse self...
Race Coverage
Saturday, March 24th
Network: ESPN2
Time: 9:30PM-Midnight Pacific
TV Coverage Grade: F!
Having survived one Red Flag, I spent the
entire day waiting to see how the "New & Improved" Presenters,
Commentators 'N Pundits riveting Pre-race Show would be; Chirp-Chirp; Crickets?
Quiet On The Set... Oh Never Mind!
As I've already scribbled my thoughts upon
this Abomination, for which in the Immortal words 'O Hobbo', aka HobbsCapp',
nee David Hobbs...
El Cheapo Suito!
As Y'all get what's
Yuhs Paid For Mr. Sean Brickity' Bratches! And Way to G-O Liberty Media, as
that Cut-rate Price you got for Farming Out thou Pinnacle 'O Motorsports
certainly showed just how much You Care!
And may be I'm splittin' Hairs, but the
reason I've kept banging On and On 'bout the lack of telling us Stateside who
we're listening to, is the fact that we're a Brand New audience that's Never
been Subjugated to a Sky Sports F1 TV Broadcast before.
Like I Dunno, the U.S. is just only one of the
largest Television Markets on the Bloody Planet Me Thinks...
As I could continue prattling on 'bout how HORRIFIC
ESPN2's Lazes faire inaugural return to Formula 1 TV Coverage was. But my Blood
pressure's beginning to go off the charts... Although I found it refreshing, when
I could Hear 'em NOT being wiped out by Thar Affiliate's nauseous repeating
commercials - for which the irony of NOT being able to Hear The Freaks
criticize the Shoddy F1 TV Coverage when
simply being cut off was Hilarious...
But the Speed Freaks Statmann Caruthers
eloquently said what I'd been thinking all day long, that All the Sky Sports F1
Presenters needed to do was simply pause, in order for our Cut-price U.S. Simulcast
to go to Commercial. And then pause from talking in order to come back from the
commercial Break "Seamlessly."
As I won't even try comparing how Fantastic
NBC Sports Network's Formula 1 TV coverage was vs. ABC-ESPN/ESPN2's Sky Sports.
Since Statmann summed it up perfectly. By comparing
it's lack of quality to two person's in their Mums' basement producing a show
upon Public Access TV!
"I don’t want to be negative, but I tried to watch. They need commentators here, the commercial breaks had awful timing, and leaving mid-sentence then returning from break without explanation of what happened was terrible."
(Source: racefans.net)
For which I actually managed to find Graham's
Twitter Account Online, for which one follower's reply was Brilliant! Saying:
Only Halo is Worse!