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IMS Scoring pylon with Alonso's
name displayed on 2017 Indy 500 Pole Day. (the Tomaso Collection)
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Uhm, what did 'Ol Tony Stewart say 'bout the
Bestest Thingy since "Sliced Bred?"
Presumably it's just Mwah, but enough with
the Platitudes 'O Fernando lore! As sadly, I was largely inspired to pen this rant
due to reading; Err Hearing "My Gal" Lucy', my ARSE-Steamed Screen
Reader cooing over one of the few remaining Diehard IndyCar Bloggers having scribble
that Fernando Alonso's driving in the rain during the 24 Hours of Daytona made
him see the "Ghost of "Saint Ayrton," nee Ayrton Senna"
during this year's rain sodden Rolex 24
Say What?
Holy Hero Worshiping Batman!
While I Don't Dispute Alonso's prodigious
Driving Talent, I do take Offense to him being compared with the late, great
Ayrton Senna, for which I fear Thar's NO Comparison!
Otay, you could perceivably compare Fredrico
Suave to Michael Schumacher, who after all was called the Rainmeister during
his days at la Scuderia, where 'Ol Fernando never managed to Close thou
Dealio', aka win a Formula 1 World championship in Scarlet Overalls. But Senna?
P-P-Puhlease!
"Fernando is Faster Than You, Ayrton..."
Although last time
I checked, Michael, who's presumably
still taking a Nap, Righto? Has more than Three Times as Many Formula One World
Championships as Alonso. Not to mention nearly Three-times as Many Grands Prix
victories...
Yeah, Fernando's now won two prestigious
Sports Car events, the legendous' 24 Heurs du Mans and Rolex 24 in less than
12-months, which many former Formula 1 Pilotes' have never accomplished, But...
With the Spaniard's carefully crafted
"Marketing;" Err Self-promotion Machine, how much of Alonso's
trumpeting his Quest for the "elusive" Triple Crown is nothing more
than his Hypefest 'O Trying to extricate himself from a largely disappointing
Formula 1 career?
Look, I get it, Fred's a Two-times F1 World
Champion, and a total Bad Arse Driver who had the Kuhoonas' to Beat Herr
Schumacher in his prime No less, but Alonso also let the splendor of winning a
World Championship for la Scuderia slip thru his fingers how many times? Most
notably the year he couldn't even get past the lowly Lotus of Vitaly VO5'
Petrov on Yas Isle! Before the Testy Spaniard told the Rooskie' he was No. 1,
Ci!
And let's Not Overlook his somewhat
"toxic" reputation, most notably his first Go-around at McLaren
during thee Ronsters' (Ron Dennis) reign, which ultimately cost Woking a cool
$100m, as in Million! Not to mention "Crash Gate," the sorid affair
involving le Reggie', nee Renault and Fred's Wingman Nelson Piquet, Jr.
And what constitutes Stardom, and whose' a
Better All-rounder Driver? As not sure why, other than I've always been a Fan
of 'lil Stevie Johnson', aka Stefan Johansson... The Swede's won Le Mans during
Dare I Say It? A far more competitive era, i.e.; 1997.
As let's call a Spade A Spade. As the
Toyota's were just racing themselves last June for the victory, en route to a
crushing 10-laps advantage over the third-place finisher, nearly 100-miles
ahead!
Not to mention Stefan's won the arduous 12
Hours of Sebring twice, in two different vehicles separated by 13yrs! Aboard a
Porsche 935 and Ferrari 333 SP. As Sebring's Cement Mixer tarmac's noted for
being twice as rough as Daytona Beach's High Banks - and tougher to win vs.
Daytona.
Or how 'bout "Mansell Mania?" As
the world Class Thespian's the only Driver to win back-to-back Championships,
i.e.; Formula 1 and IndyCar, when the latter was Arguably more popular (and
competitive) than F1.
Not to mention EMMO', aka Emerson
Fittipaldi's accomplishments. And I haven't even Delved into some of Sports
Cars Baddest Cats like Hurley Haywood, Al Holbert, Peter Gregg, Jacky Ickx,
Klaus Ludwig or "Mr. Le Mans," thou "Other" TK', aka Tom Kristensen -
Just to name a few potent Drivers.
Or the Hapless, but very Amiable Bloody Brit Johnny
Herbert, who won at the Circuit de la Sarthe in a Mazda NO less, as I could go
on 'N on...
Whilst I've already noted here on No Fenders
last year, what would the press have said if Good 'Ol Monty', nee JPM or Mac
Montoya, aka Juan Pablo have said if the Columbian had won the LMP2 Class in
last year's 24 Hours of Le Mans?
Wouldn't he have theoretically Beaten
Fredrico to that Oh, so Coveted "Triple Crown?" But I've never heard
JPM Honking His Own Horn over such trivia as that...
Meanwhile, as I've poonded on previously here
in Nofendersville, contrary to popular belief Near and Abroad, can Y'all say
Viva la France? Alonso's 2019 McLaren Indy 500 project will Not be in Cahoots
with FAST EDDIE', nee Ed Carpenter and ECR, but instead in partnership with
Carlin...
As now I've got
two Drivers I'll be rootin' Against at
Mother Speedway this May. The first being HULIO', and the second Alonso! As the
Brickyard's a fickle Mistress, who chooses who She wants to Win, not the other
way round Fernando...
(Photo c/o No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer
CARPETS')