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Fernando Alonso's Andretti
Autosport No. 29 racecar in the Pits before start of Carb Day, 2017. (The Tomaso
Collection)
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Now after I win the Triple Crown; Hmm, isn't that a
Horse race? Ah, I'll go win Le Mans again and then Dakar and Pikes Peak and the
Chili bowl and...
My original title was Alonso Chasing Mythical
Bucket list, but suddenly the thought of the Oh, So "Smooth Operator"
Fredrico suave, aka Fred Alonso made me think of an 'Ol Leonard Cohen song
instead...
Ah, another of Thy endless stories on thou Isle 'O
Nofendersville that's Ah-Waitin' planting; err Scribblin', Hence languishing
Ah-Amongst Thee Driftwood, r' Mateys!
Having originally pondered some seven years
ago now; Hmm? What's that 'bout seven year Itches? My Mind was Ah-Wonderin'
just how many Gran Primo Pilotes' who've won Formula 1 world championships were
also victorious at Mother Speedway?
With
this No Fenders story's topic percolating back to mind when listening to
the rain delay for Saturday's May 20th (2017) qualifying session of the 101st
running of the Indianapolis 500, when D-Squared, aka Donald Davidson teased
us by pronouncing that a total of twelve
former and future Formula 1 world champions had now contested the Indy 500.
As it's a long,
long time ago when I had the pleasure of meeting Messer Davidson at Mother
Speedway...
Formula 1 World Champions - Indy 500 Competitors
Jack Brabham, Graham Hill, Jimmy Clark, Dennis Hulme, Jackie Stewart, Jochen
Rindt, Emerson Fittipaldi, Mario Andretti, Nelson Piquet, Nigel Mansell,
Jacques Villeneuve and Fernando Alonso.
Alas, with thy pinnacle 'O motorsports, nee
Formula 1 being Europe's single seater benchmark, the lure, and more likely the
prize money drew the Attenzione of the leading Gran Primo Pilotes' of the
1960's who flocked to the Speedway in droves during what was loosely coined the
"British Invasion."
Amazingly, only five of these twelve F1
Champions have won the Indianapolis 500, albeit both Mario Andretti and Jacques
Villeneuve claimed the prestigious Borg Warner trophy first, before becoming
Formula 1 World Champions.
Although I'm positive Thee Wee Scot' or Sir
Jackie, JYS, nee Jackie Stewart raced at the Brickyard before claiming his
first F1 World Championship in 1969. And Ditto for Jochen Rindt, whilst I
simply Don't feel like querying each of these Drivers to Discern when their
first Indy 500 was. Especially since I can NO longer navigate Indianapolis
Motor Speedway's P.O.S Non Screen Reader Friendly website; But I Digress...
As it may be Thee
Greatest Spectale', but it's also The World's Worst Website!
Thus I'll just go with the figure of just a
Skosh under 42% is the rate of F1 World Champions Drinking Milk, or E-GADS!
Orange Juice in Victory Lane...
Hence the point of this Warbling No Fenders
tome, for which is it just Mwah? Or has Fred Alonso wisely Cooled his Jets
'bout Crowing over his attempt at the Mythical Triple Crown?
And what makes a racing driver truly
legendous? Since Mika-the-Finn' (Hakkinen) has exactly the same number of F1
World Championships as Alonso, but I'd say I almost never hear a Peep mentioned
about him.
And can we even possibly compare the
accomplishments of Graham Hill v Fernando Alonso? Since Hill completed this
mythical Triple Crown upon winning the 1972 24 Heurs du Mans sensationally for
Matra, giving the French auto manufacturer a very popular 1-2 finish on Home
Soil vs. true Competizione from rivals Alfa Romeo and Lola.
Whilst Alonso won for Toyota as a Rookie in
what effectively was a Two Horse Intra-squad Scrum of the only two
"Works" Hybrid machinery on the grid, Ditto for this year's fast
approaching Le Mans.
Does Fernando deserve to be in the conversation
of multiple Monaco Grand Prix winners, for which Hill's five victories between
1963-69 is only surpassed by the late, great Ayrton Senna's six. Not to mention
the likes of Michael Schumacher's tally of five W's, Alain Prost's four wins or
Jackie Stewart's three victories on the Streets of the Principality.
Not to mention Sir Stirling Moss has 3 W's
and Bloody Hell! Even Thee Great Nico Rosberg has one more victory in Monte
Carlo than Fernando does. (3) who's won twice in 2006-07.
Whilst the list of Two Times Monaco GP
victors somewhat reads like a Who's Who, with the likes of el Maestro', aka
Juan Manuel Fangio, Maurice
Trintignant, Niki Lauda, Jody Scheckter, Mark Webber,
Lewis Hamilton, Sebastian Vettel and Uhm, David Coulthard.
But I'm not saying that Fernando's not a
great driver, it's that I just Don't think he warrants All the Attenzione, much
of which I believe is Self-promoted towards tying somebody else's record, which
I suppose the Spaniard could spin into other ingenious Feats...
As I'll go out upon a very Stout limb and
predict that Alonso in the "Start-up" McLaren Racing IndyCar entity
won't be victorious at Mother Speedway this May, and Hell, their main Technical
Alliance "Partner" Carlin could be Hard pressed to Qualify all three
of its entries! Although Charlie Kimball should be an invaluable source this
May.
As will Fernando return in 2020 should be the
more pressing Questione, now that it's been announced he won't return to Toyota's
WEC concern following the conclusion of Le Mans. Having been replaced by
ex-Scuderia Toro Rosso F1 Pilote Brendon Hartley for Toyota's 2019-20 World
Endurance Championship (WEC) Tilt. And most likely is setting his sights upon
contesting next year's Dakar Rally, and who knows what else, since Fernando just
loves seeing his name in the media...
(Photo c/o No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer
CARPETS')