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"RADD!" A Modern Day interpretation of
the Golden Submarine originally made famous by Barney Oldfield debuted at the
2008 SEMA Show. (Image source: autoblog.com)
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Otay Kiddoes', it's that time 'O year again,
Chirp-Chirp, Bueller? When I cap off another long, meandering year's
storytelling from thou Isle of Nofendersville, when everybody's watching
Football; Hut-Hut, Omaha! With my End of Year Overall Winners selections. Which
Y'all can Compare 'N Contrast with last year's choices in;
As Here goes
Nothin', with another Bevy 'O totally Spur 'O Thee Moment, Off Ye Cuff' Non
Eggnog induced selections below...
CATEGORIES
1. Driver of Year
Winner: Kyle Kiser
Yeah, remember Kyle Kiser? As this was also
gonna be my Story 'O Year before El Capitano' Pole Vaulted past the largely
forgotten 2017 Indy Lights Champion's Month 'O May accomplishments.
But give Kyle, and even more Ricardo Juncos
and his entire Juncos Racing Workforce it's Due for making the Unthinkable
Happen. Y'all know when Kiser Knocked some Smarmy Spaniard outta this year's
Indianapolis 500!
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| Unlike Fernando Alonso's initial foray at Mother Speedway in 2017, this was not a common sight for the Formula 1 World Champion this May at Indianapolis. (The Tomaso Collection) |
Ah, just think,
'Ol Roger, Cheep and Mikey A' All want Guaranteed Starting Spots at Thee
Brickyard, so we Can't have Any More types of these moments. Yuhs know, when
the Fastest 33 Starters take the Green Flag at Indianapolis...
Other
Choices
Ah, let's let Kyle revel in what appears to be his
Brightest Moment in Motor Racing...
2. Story of Year
Winner: IMS Sold!
As Thee Speed Freaks SkattMann Caruthers said
regarding this category. Take 2 Aspirin and Call Me in the Morning; Err Sleep
it Off - If Y'all come up with Somme-thun' else!
Although Thee Mayor 'O Hinchtown, nee James
Hinchcliffe Somewhat surprising Dismissal from SPAM', aka Arrow McLaren SP's
IndyCar team was leading the race. But the absolutely Shocking Decision of the
Hulman-George's to Cash Out; Err Sell Mother Speedway to Octogenarian Roger
Penske simply Dwarfs any other candidate!
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Simon Pagenaud's Team Penske Dallara DW12-Chevrolet
in IMS Tech line preparing to Qualify for the 2018 Indianapolis 500. (The
Tomaso Collection)
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3. Race of Year
Winner: Petit Le Mans
It would be simple to choose the Indianapolis
500 for this, but I won't since that's too obvious. While Thars' two Grands
Prix that stick out for Mwah. And whilst the Sebring 12 Hours would be a good
choice, I'm going with Petit Le Mans instead.
As the Car that should have Won, the Mustang
Sally; Whoa Nelie definitely Didn't get Wooed Down in time, with a Freakish
Brake Caliber explosion!
And a Manufacturer's Title not decided until
15-20mins lefts in the race when the No. 5 Action Express Racing Cadillac DPi
VR's brake caliber problem occurred, inexplicably knocking them from thoust
lead! Not to mention 'Ol Bimmer Billy's final lap pass for the GT Daytona Class
lead, after 10hrs of racing...
Other
Choices
Brazilian/German Grands Prix and Indianapolis 500
4. Sportsperson of Year
Winner: Erica Enders
Presumably when Y'all think of Female NHRA
Champions, Shirley "cha cha" Muldowney probably comes very first to
mind. Which makes this year's accomplishment by Erica even more impressive.
As Enders Stevens becomes only the third
woman to be a Three Times NHRA Champion, as can Yuhs name the other? Times Up!
It's Angelle Sampey who won three consecutive Pro Stock Motorcycled
titles between 2000-02.
As Erica becomes the first female triple Pro
Stock Champion, after having won titles in 2014-15, and is probably only one of
a very select few Pro Stock Drivers with multiple Pro Stock crowns.
Honourable
Mention
Jianna Salinas
Not to take anything away from Erica Enders
Stevens, but this Fairy tale weekend for the previously never heard of Jianna
Salinas, who as a 22yr old Rookie, rode her way from her No. 13 Qualifying
position All the way to her very first ever NHRA Pro Stock Motorcycle Win!
And Salinas did it the Hard Way, having to
beat eventual 2019 Champion Matt Hines in the first round, before knocking off
two further potential 2019 Pro Stock Motorcycle Champions en route to her first
ever Wally!
As Jianna becomes only the fifth Female Rider
to win an NHRA Pro Stock Motorcycle event. For which Y'all can watch the entire
event in the following, lengthy video.
5. Flatliner' of year
Winner: Steve Torrence
Although I Don't follow Drag Racing, I do
hear 'bout it via Speed Freaks, when they're on the Radio! And tend to recall
that Steve Torrence, the 2018 NHRA Top Fuel Champion was on A lot for
frequently winning.
As Torrence, who drive's for his family's
Catgo' Torrence Racing concern, in one of the "Smaller" Teams,
especially vs. Cubic Dollar Powerhouse Don Schumacher Racing, (DSR) and John
Force Racing. Has simply put a Beat-down upon the Nitro' Rail class en route to
his second, consecutive NHRA Top Fuel Dragster Championship this year.
Other
Choices
Erica Enders, Brittany Force, Robert Hight and John
Force
6. Rider of Year
Winner: Faabio
Quartararo
Although I Don't know anything 'bout this
French Rider, this MotoGP Rookie certainly was the revelation of the season,
mush to thoust Consternation 'O Johann Zarco, Maverick vinales and All of the
Yamaha Riders, with the exception of Thee Doctor, Righto?
But you'd have to Arse-sume' he's being groomed for
Bigger Things, like a Yamaha Factory Ride? As he'll be given the latest 2020
Spec Yamahopper MR1 Machinery next season, and broke Marc Marquez's MotoGP record
for youngest ever Pole Winner this year...
Other
Choices
Marc Marquez, Alex Rins
7. Sports Car Driver of Year
Winner: Mario Farnbacher
Yeah, I know, it's
probably somewhat Cornfuzing, Eh? Since I also typically call Mario Andretti
SuperMario'. But what's that saying 'bout Uhm, Ah, Flattery? As I also enjoy
calling this Bad Arse Sports Car Ace SuperMario!
As I've been a Fan of
Mario's a longtime now, ever since his long forgotten days at Team Seattle's
Heart of Racing, behind the wheel of Alex Job's iconic #23 Porsche 911
Panzerwagons, Ja Volt!
Thus I'm elated that
Farnbacher finally get's the recognition he's due, having won this year's GT
Daytona Drivers Championship! Since he's long played the dutiful Supporting
Cast member.
Other
Choices
"Bimmer Billy," aka Bill Auberlen
8. Freak of Year
Winner: Johann Zarco
Otay, the only thing I can think worthy of
this category is the Freak Accident/Injury Johann Zarco suffered at the season
ending MotoGP round at Valencia, when he was hit by a competitor's Rider-less
motorcycle!
Not to mention his Mega Wonky' 2019 MotoGP
season, being dropped by KTM, subbing at LCR and initially saying he didn't
want to ride for the "lowly" Avintia Racing concern, which is exactly
what he'll be doing in 2020.
9. Quip of Year
Winner: Anthony Davidson
ANT's' classic retort that Sebring's Bumpier
than COTA is! When All the Rage was over how Bumpy Austin's Circuit Of The
Americas (COTA) had become in the past year since the Formula 1 Circus had
visited Thar. Having previously noted in another long, meandering No Fenders
tome:
Whilst the topic of the day was the track's ultra
bumpiness, for which per Tipicali, Golden Child, nee Lewis Hamilton was heard
via his In-car radio proclaiming This is the Bumpiest Track in the World! To
which Sky Sports Pundit ANT', nee Anthony Davidson Quipped back before
Hamilton's comment ended, No it's Not, Sebring is!
And I burst out in laughter over Robin
Liddel's Brilliant Quip 'bout "When EJ' Had Hair?" Comment to Jeremy
Shaw during the Petit Le Mans IMSA Radio Broadcast...
While Kroftie's', nee David Kroft's Dry
Sardonic Quip 'bout What do You even Say to Cats? Was also Brilliant in
response to an F1 Viewer having Tweeted the Formula 1 race was so Boring it put
his Cat to Sleep.
Open Wheel Racing Series
If you've enjoyed my Overall selections
above, then Y'all may wish to check out my other two previous No Fenders posts
regarding my selections for the following Disciplines...
As that's a Wrap
for the Year Kiddee's, as it's been Ah royal Pain in thoust Keister' trying to
load this Monsterous Blog Post in nearly Whiteout conditions for Mwah!
Strugglin' to S-E-E what I'm doing...
Err, Uhm? Oh Yeah,
It's been Ah blast! As see Yuhs All next year, when I'll plan upon returning "Full
Throttle" somewheres' after January 6, 2020.
Arrivederci
Tomaso