 |
|
One of 'Ol superTexs', nee Anthony Joseph Foyt,
Jr's better, more successful Winning Racecars. (Source: Bing.com Images)
|
Tuh-Duh Ladies 'N Germs', it's that time 'O year
again, when your Humble No Fenders Scribe Tomaso rolls out his Uber
UN-Scientific choices for the traditional Year's End melee...
Another Year, and
Another Swipe at what just comes to Thy Mind nearly 90 Gory Days after the end
of another IndyCar season.
As the following selections are just what
initially comes Percolatin' to thoust Surface without any Heavy Deliberations,
especially now that the seal's been broken upon Ye Eggnog's Fortifying elixir!
Whilst Y'all can
compare this year's No Fenders Winners 'N Losers vs. last year's mesmerizing
selections in the following No Fenders tome'
WINNERS
2019 IndyCar Champion: Josef Newgarden,USA; Team Penske
2019 Indy 500: Simon Pagenaud, France; Team Penske
2019 Rookie Of the Year: Felix Rosenqvist, Sweden; Chip Ganassi Racing
CATEGORIES
1. Driver of The Year
Winner: Simon Pagenaud
Yeah, the obvious choices would most likely
be Josef Newgardn or Scott Dixon, Righto? Whilst Alexander Rossi would rank up
Thar once again, but he seemed to falter down the stretch. Which I suppose you
could say Dixon did also, but he was penalized by multiple mechanical failures.
As I'm giving the nod to one of my past
favourite IndyCar Drivers, especially for his scintillating Month 'O May, where
he put on that epic drive in the rain to win the Indy GP. Then cemented his
future tenure with Team Penske by winning that spirited Duel at Mother Speedway
vs. Rossi!
And although I never felt like Symone' was truly
a Contendah' for this year's NTT IndyCar Series Championship, he did ultimately
finish runner-up to Team Penske team-mate Newgarden with three wins, and
finally began showing us his past Championship Winning form.
Other
Choices
Josef Newgardn, Scott Dixon and Alexander Rossi
2. Biggest Disappointment of The Year
SPAM's',
nee Arrow McLaren SP's Firing, Err Dismissal of Thee Mayor 'O Hinchtown, aka
James Hinchcliffe. Since although I realize this is the Harsher Side of modern
day Motorsports. Nonetheless, the way the team Strung Along Hinch' was Tacky to
say the least! As One of the few remaining IndyCar Bloggers recently mentioned.
What's the Difference between Sam Schmidt and John Barnes? Mobility! YOUCH!
3. Races of The Year
Oval Track Winner: Gateway
Every year, the obvious choice for this is
Mother Speedway, but that's too easy. And instead, largely because Thee Racing
Gods appropriately Smiled upon Taku-san', who'd been savagely crucified for
doing nothing wrong the week before at Pocono. It was an absolute Delight to
G-O Bonkers over Takuma Sato's well timed victory at Gateway!
Other
Choices
Indianapolis, Texas Motor Speedway?
Twisties' Track Winner: Indy GP
They say Rain is the Great Equalizer, for
which this year's Indy GP appeared headed for being another Team Penske
Snoozer! But Thanxs to Good 'Ol Mother Nature, we got what has to be the best
ever IndyCar race on Mother Speedway's Infield Road Course.
As I suddenly found Thyself Yelling at thou
Telescreen for Symone' to get that Dixon! As Simon Pagenaud's prowess in the
wet made this into argubaly the Best Road Course/Street Circuit event of the
year.
As I'll throw Road
America and Long Beach into the mix, since surely you'd have enjoyed them if you're
a Rossi Fan, Righto? While I didn't get to watch the Mid Ohio race which had a
pretty good Intra Squad Scrum between Uhm, almost said Target; Err Chip Ganassi
Racing Boys...
Other
Choices
Toronto, Mid Ohio, Road America or Long Beach?
4. Most Improved Team of the Year
Winner: Harding Steinbrenner Racing
Although I cannot stand the Slobbering
LUV-Fest that Thee NBC Sports Booth Boyz lavish upon him! And Y'all would have
to say how much of Harding Steinbrenner Racing's (HSR) improvement is solely
down to its Driver? Versus the Mega Support Doled Out upon it via its Technical
Alliance, YeeHaw, that's Duh Ticket! With Mikey A's concern?
As it certainly helped having an Andretti
Autosport employee as Colton Herta's Race Engineer, not to mention Double A'
Dampers; Err Shock Absorbers, not to mention what else HSR got in the way of
being an Andretti Satellite Squad, Eh? But it sure was an impressive
turn-around vs. it's previous IndyCar campaigns.
5. Most Disappointing Team of the Year
Winner: Arrow Schmidt Peterson Motorsports
Tend to recall Thar was lotso' Fanfare, Pomp
'N Circumstance during the first Arrow Brand Makeover 'bout expecting to become
the 4th Pillar of the soon to be Big Four IndyCar Teams, Righto? Chirp-Chirp,
Bueller?
As I had to look up where Arrow SPM finished.
Uhm, that's right, IndyCar doesn't do Teams Standings a la Formula 1. But
Hinchcliffe finished a mediocre 12th, with a best finish of third at Iowa. And
Swedish Rookie and ex-F1 Pilote Marcus Ericsson finished P17.
Throw-in the curious decision to have Thee
Mayor test all four Arrow SPM-linked Dallara/Hondre' chassis at thou Brickyard,
seeing them struggle for speed. Along with the team's subsequent Machiavellian
Dealings with Engine Supplier and current Drivers, and this is a Slam Dunk
choice, eh!
6. Most Improved Driver of the Year
Winner: Marco Andretti
As this is one of the harder categories for
me to make a choice for, since I'd have given it to Jack Bloody Nige! Harvey,
but wanted to give it to a Fulltime Driver instead. Alas, I chose Marco since although
not brilliant, he had a quiet season, kept his nose clean and didn't have 'Ol
PT' claiming he should may be think 'bout becoming an Uber Driver this year.
7. Most Disappointing Driver of the Year
Winner: Ryan Hunter-Reay
Originally this was a Toss Up between Graham
Rahal and Ryan Hunter-Reay, since so much expectation was placed upon both Driver's
Shoulders, albeit seemed liked 'Ol Son of Stash, nee Rahal Junior was touted
more in Pre-season.
As both drivers had to witness their
team-mates claim two wins apiece, while they grew more 'n more frustrated over
their results. But Hunter-Reay gets the nod after his Boneheaded Antics at
Portland, which I previously briefly noted
following this year's Grand Prix of Portland.
And then back to Yellow on Lap-14 for Ryan
Hunter-Reay's Brain-fade against his Andretti Autosport team-mate Alexander
Rossi; WTF? As I thoroughly enjoyed the part about Jack "Bloody
Nige!" Harvey Clapping Sarcastic Applause directly to Hunter-Reay after
being unceremoniously Crashed Out! (By Hunter; Err Bully-Ray!)
As I like to believe that Graham would Never
Hose his team-mate when in the middle of a Championship Title fight, which is
exactly what 'Ol Bully-ray' did vs. Rossi, which you'd expect better from a
previous IndyCar Series Champion!
8. Comeback Driver of The Year
Winner: Conor Daly
What's that tired, Old Cliché 'bout Thee
Hardest Working Driver in IndyCar's? As Conor's kept his Head down since that
lamentable season driving for 'Ol SuperTex', which resulted in his Firing! And
drove for how many different teams this year? Most notably B-I-G 3' Powerhouse
Andretti Autosport at Mother Speedway, and Oh Yeah, Laguna Seca.
As Conor fully deserves his newest ride as
Fast Eddie's Twisties' Specialist for 2020, along with a third Ed Carpenter
Racing ride for the Indy 500. And hopefully will finally resume his rightful
place as a Fulltime IndyCar competitor in 2021.
9. "Big Boyz Pants" Award
Winner: Takuma Sato
Not sure what more I can really say 'bout the
likeable Taku-san', woo I've been a Fan of for many years. As it just makes me
Sick to My Stomach that fellow citizens of my GURR-REAT! Nation keep lambasting
Takuma Sato with racist insults; What The Fuck!
Yet per Tipicali, Sato rose above it All,
kept his Trademark Cool and weathered a massive storm Vilifying him for doing
Nothing Wrong at Pocono, for which I'd say the Racing Gods gave him a rousing
endorsement over!
Or Y'all can Skip
collecting your $200 for passing Monopoly's Starting line, and G-O Directly to
the Speed Freaks interview instead...
10. Rookie of The Year
Winner: Santino Ferrucci
Although you'd think according to the NBC
Sports Booth Boyz' Thar was only that Soupier Doopier Rookie Colton Herta in
the field; BARF!
Although 'Ol R',
aka Robin Miller did get excited over Ferrucci when we got to the Ovals...
Nonetheless he got Beat Out for (ROY) Rookie
Of the Year Honours by the usually Cool Swede Felix Rosenqvist, who only had
one meltdown late in the year, accusing IndyCar of favouring Herta for the ROY
Championship.
But for Mwah, especially since they're the
smallest Minnow on the IndyCar Grid, not to mention his personality was
refreshing. And he wasn't afraid of Ovals, or using the High-line as the
Right-line! I soon became a fan of who I've "coined" Thee Great
Santini! Nee Santino Ferrucci.
As I'm expecting him to return to Dale Coyne
Racing next year. Hmm, perhaps taking over le Hamburgular', nee SeaBasses
vacated seat to make room for a Pay Driver to buy his ride? We'll see...
