As Thar will only ever be one Uncle bobby!
Yeah, it’s Old News now, which caught me by
surprise when I first heard about it on Racer.com Monday, following the
Tex-Arse’ Double Header IndyCar weekend. And I was uncertain ‘bout writing
about it since it’s already been National News that’s long since Moved On due
to our never ending insatiable 24/7 News Cycle.
Yet surely everybody has a “Uncle bobby” story
or three, Righto? As I must confess I didn’t originally know about bobby Unser
the Driver since he retired before I began following Open Wheel Racing in
earnest. Although my introduction to Indy Cars came as a Wee lad’ Wayback in
the 1970’s, but all I really remember now is the voices of Jim McKay and Chris
Shenkel calling the Indianapolis 500 on a Tape-delayed format on ABC’s Wide
World of Sports.
While I’d have to say my all-time favourite
IndyCar TV Broadcast Booth Trio will forever be Paul Page as “MC” or Referee? With
Uncle bobby and his veritable Punching Bag Sam Posey! For which I’ll forever
remember Unser’s denoting Thar’s some Slippery liquids On-track! And the perfunctory
“No, you’re Wrong Sam!” Endless retorts….
Later on, Bobby’s notoriety grew After once
punching an Albuquerque Policema at the Airport, when I think he was trying to
issue him a Parking Citation. Along with Stealing an Army Tank or getting lost
Snowmobiling “Out-of-Bounds,” with the National Guard being sent to find Him!.
Not to mention my personal favourite, when reputedly
throwing a lighter into his demolished Rolls Royce during a Demolition Derby!
As I heard about this on a long ago edition of
Speed Freaks, when they were interviewing Cary Agajanian, son of the legendous’
Promoter J.c. Agajanian.
As it was Carey who claimed bobby threw a lighter
into the Rolls, which probably was a Silver Shadow model? Since according to
the New York times Archives article dated February 23, 1973. This Demolition
Derby was touted as the World’s Richest Demolition Derby featuring some 30
vehicles including Rufus Parnelli Jones in a Cadillac Eldorado and Uncle bobby
in the aforementioned Rolls Royce. Noting that Unser stuffed the nose of the
Rolls after Jumping a Hay bale before everybody Ganged Up on Unser and
continuously rammed him!
The event took part sometime in early 1973 in
the Los Angeles Coliseum with almost 24,000 Fans paying $156,000 to Attend! And
after the Demolition Derby concluded, multiple vehicles were piled up in the
center before Daredevil Extraordinaire Evel Knievel Jumped the mass of twisted
carnage! Reportedly jumping a further distance than his famous Caser’s Palace
Fountain’s Jump.
And this whole Spectacle may have also been
shown on ABC’s Wide World of Sports sometime that same year?
As I had the good fortune of meeting Bobby
Unser once in person at the IMS Flagroom, a wonderful “Watering Hole” popular Destination
with All of the Drivers and Fans. Which Sadly as far as I know has been Closed for
No good reason now for years, Sigh!
The year was 2012, when I was attending my
third Indy 500 and No Fenders Offical’ Photographer Carpets’ spotted Uncle
Bobby naturally Holding Court in the Flagroom, before asking me if I wanted his
autograph? So Dave went and inquired with a then 78 year old Unser who said he
had to go meet some people but would be back in 5mins, to which Dave said may
be he’s Ducking Out on us?
But true to his word, Bobby returned and after
Dave guided me towards Uncle Bobby, telling me everything I couldn’t Ask HIM! Bobby
promptly stuck out his hand to me before pumping it firmly. Then after signing
a Miller Lite table-top Advert’, he turned round and put his hand on my shoulder
and began directing me which way to stand and look at the camera for the best
picture, which naturally I dually complied!
Whilst I know one year following one of the
Legend’s Day Autograph sessions, as I can no longer recall if it was 2012 or
2013? Where Dave spotted Johnny Unser alone outside, and we saddled up to him
to just say “Hi.” As Carpets’ asked him something about Uncle Bobby, to which
Johnny said Yeah, He’s still telling me how to coil up the (garden) hoses
outside the Motorhome correctly!
And then last year, the night before the fairly
Surreal running of the Indy 500 in August! As I eagerly awaited the running of
the race, I sat transfixed at my Confuzer’ “watching,” Err listening for nearly
an hour to ‘Ol R’, aka Robin Miller as MC of a Hilarious Bobby Unser Roast that
was held at the famous Stutz building in Indianapolis in 2018.
As the then 84 year old Unser was being Roasted
in front of approximately 150 “guests” honouring bobby on the 50th
anniversary of his first Indianapolis 500 victory.
As Miller does a very good Undle Bobby
impersonation, where I learned the legend of Bobby’s praying upon innocent women
to cook him a Turkey dinner! While El Capitano’, nee Roger Penske was full of “Piss
‘N vinegar’ towards his former driver. With former Penske team-mate “Rocket Rick”
Mears getting in on the action. Along with Rufus Parnelli Jones and Lonestar JR’
(Johnny Rutherford) featured on the Racer.com video.
As Y’all can find this Hilarious bit ‘O tomfoolery
by simply searching for the Racer article titled Retro: The Roast of Bobby
Unser. (August 22, 2020)
And All of this doesn’t even address his
driving ability, after all having won the Indianapolis 500 in three different
decades, 35 IndyCar wins, 52 Poles and two National Championships for starters.
Not to mention being the King of Pikes Peak with an unbelieveable 13 victories!
And while it’s the Character of Uncle bobby we
cherish the most. I have to say I always find it somewhat ironic how he likes
to wax On ‘N On ‘bout Formula 1 Drivers being Sissies whenever on Speed Freaks!
Yet he himself once contested the 1968 United States grand Prix as a third BRM entry and summarily got his Arse waxed! After being Disqualified from that year’s Italian Grand Prix along with SuperMario’, (Andretti) but that’s a whole nother story…
