Uhm, they’ve probably turned Bronze or whatever
colour they Tarnish to in All of the constant Rain, Fog, Humidity and Salt
Spray on Ye Isle ‘O Nofendersville Mateys!
Arse-sumedly I’d probably receive the Marshall
Pruett Golden Bowlinng Ball Award for longest Winded “Short” Blog Posts; Since
Marshall recently Humourously Chided a (Racer) Mailbagger’s email for being too
Wordy,Weighing in at 500 words Yuck Yuck Yuck! Ergo why I’ve split another
lengthy No Fenders tome into Two part Harmony, Err two parts, as here goes Selections
P6 thru 9; No. 9, Number Nine, Numeral Nein Ja Volt!
CATEGORIES
Rider of The Year
Sports Car Driver of The Year
Freak of The Year
Quip of The Year
6. Rider of Year
Winner: Joan Mir
Twenty-Twenty’ was the season that it seemed
Nobody wanted to win the MotoGP Championship! With nine defferent winners and
five Debutante MotoGP race winners including eventual Champion Joan Mir! Although
Mir’s Suzuki teammate Alex Rins on occasion is faster, Rins is Crash prone
while Mirs is always the modle of consistency, with seven podiums as an example
in 2020.
And although the Suzuki isn’t the fastest in a
straight-line, i.e.; Ducati, the Suzuki seems to have the fastest cornering
speed. With Mir winning his maiden MotoGP victory at Home in the European Grand
Prix at Valencia, then clinched the title the following week in the season’s
penultimate event also at Valencia, becoming Suzuki’s first Champion since
Kenny Roberts, Jr. in 2000! Along with Mir being the first Non Honda/Yamaha Champion
since Casey Stoner won for Ducati in ’07.
Other
Choices
Franco Morbidelli, Alex Rins, Francesco Bagnaia and
Uhm?
7. Sports Car Drivers of Year
Winners: Ryan Briscoe & Renger Van der Zande; Kamui Kobayashi and
Mario Farnbacher
Long time No Fenders readers will know I’ve
been a Fan of Ryan Briscoe’s for nearly a Decade now, ever since He was so Nice
to Mwah at Mother Speedway. Thus I was super happy when Briscoe and regular season
Co-Driver Renger Van der Zande, along with that Crazy Fast Cat I fondly call
K-Squared’, aka Kamui Kobayashi and some Dude named Scott Dixon began the year
in fine fashion by winning the Rolex 24. Then Van der Zande Blitzed past the
Whirling Derbish Ricky Taylor to claim victory at Petit Le Mans! Although
unfortunately they finished runner-up’s Overall to Taylor and Hulio’, aka Helio
Castroneves for the IMSA (DPi) Prototypes title, Sigh…
Also have been a Huge Fan of Mario Farnbacher
ever since he was one Bad Arse “gunslinger” for my Homeboyz’ Team Seattle aboard
Alex Job Racing’s iconic #23 Porsche 911. And the fact that SuperMario’
(Farnbacher) won his second consecutive GTD (Daytona) Championship for Meyer
Shank Racing’s (MSR)
Acura NSX made this an easy choice! Although Mario’s
Co-Driver Matt McMurray definitely deserves a Shout Out…
Other
Choices
Sure Thars Ah-Plenty, but Yuhs know Ye Drill, that
was a Gory Year ago!
8. Freak of Year
Winner: Romain Grosjean
Uh Duh! Like Does this even need explaining? If so see the corresponding Story Of year category!
Runner
Up
Winner: Francesco Bagnaia
Hopefully by the time I wrap up scribblin' this?
Pecco' will have finally, rightfully won his Debutante MotoGP race. And I'm quite
happy knowing that Ducati Corse wisely signed him to become a Factory Rider in
2021.
See, it’s a good
thingy’ it only took me a Gory year to scribble this, Hya! Since Bagnaia not
only won his maiden MotoGP race in 2021, but a total of three Grands Prix en
route to finishing runner-up Overall to Fabio Quartararo on his Factory Ducati…
Yet Bagnaia garnered this year's award for simply
coming back three weeks after Breaking his Leg, climbing aboard his Satellite
Duc' and riding his Pramac Racing’s Ducati Desmosedici GP20 to runner-up behind
fellow Countryman Franco Morbidelli, who won his maiden MotoGP race on Home
Soil at Italy's San Marino Misano racetrack! Seeing
Italian riders take a 1-2 finish with Spain’s Mir P3.
9. Quip of Year
Winner: Martin BillyBob’ Brundle
”Black Tea, A Splash of
Milk, One Sugar Stirred Clockwise!”
As this was what Martin Billybob’ Brundle,
presumably a reference only your No Fenders Scribe still remembers? For which the
Bloody Brit was Anointed with when contesting the IROC Series back in it’s Good
‘Ol Dazes, when he won a round at Cleveland’s Burke Lakefront circuit, but I
digress…
As Brundle was apparently trying to either put some
levity, or more likely keep us awake over the Dull Procession the Bahrain Grand
Prix had become after they’d finally managed to settle down ‘N just go racing. Whilst
Kroftie’, nee David Kroft tittered on ‘N on ‘bout how long they’d been in the
Commentary Booth, 2hrs and 42mins, Blah Blah Blah…
As this was the very same
Gory Bahrain Grand Prix which had begun with Romain Grosjean’s Haas becoming a Roman
Candle, which Thankfully Grosjean Walked Away from!
Brundle ripped off his best James Bond impersonation
(above) whilst Kroftie’ guffawed over Simon Lazenby, who’d begun as a “Runner”
and couldn’t even get acknowledged for bringing a “Proper Cup ‘O Tea,” Hya!
Runner
Up
“Winner: Lewis Hamilton
”Tastes like Toe Jam!”
As this
was the unlikely Quip from thou lips ‘O Golden Child’, aka Lewis Hamilton after
deciding to join Daniel Ricciardo in his customary Shoei’ after the Aussie’ had
scored his first Podium of the year, finishing third at the Eiffel Grand Prix
at Germany’s Nurburgring circuit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLD1E_-hgO4
Honourable
Mention
As much as I Despise him as a Lead Announcer,
for which I feel Kevin Lee’s still totally Not the Right Choice for Indy Cars!
As his Screechy, Over the Top Oh No Mr.
Bill! Faux Enthusiasm which sounds like He’s trying to Pull a Muscle is just
plain Nerve-racking for Mwah! Ergo why I call him the Wherewolf!
Nevertheless, he did come up with one good Quip
when “Anchoring” an IMSA Sports Car race, which I’m fairly certain was last year’s
Petit Le Mans, when He told Colour Commentator A.J. Allmendinger, “Your Cutting
into Hinch’s’ “Drive Time!” When Allmendinger wouldn’t leave the Booth to hand
over his duties to Thee Mayor ‘O Hinchtown’, aka James Hinchcliffe.
As that's a Wrap
for this long awaited 2020 season recap Kiddoes’, as it's been Ah, Uhm? Oh
Yeah, Ah blast! Since after All, It’s the Most Wonderful, Queue the Scratched record
sounds, Hya!
Arrivederci
Tomaso
