Best of Two Worlds, And A Not so Great Third

    As Who let the Dogs Out indeedy! No, Don’t Open that door, and definitely do Not turn that Confuzer off!

 

Ah, the Joys of relying on Screen Reading technology, Oof, Ouch, Biff, Crash! As the El Stupidio, Putrid P.O.S. Zoomtext Fusion 2022 program’s decided to turn itself Off Friday evening All upon it’s Own, you Cheeky Bugger! Leaving me temporarily without a working Screen Reader, Spew! Which I thought was gonna be for the entire weekend, until I figured out how to manually activate it when using a few Silent “Work Around” Hot Key commands! But I really shouldn’t need to do Any of this, Sigh!

 

Having spent a Fantastic 10 Days on Holiday in Warshington’, including a tranquil eight days on Vashon Island, wherest No Fenders Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen was Dog sitting four Furr-rocious’ Hoonds’, from largest to smallest; an 80lbs Pitbull mix, a “Two Tone” 18yr old Terrier mix and two loveable Chihuahua’s, with All four being Boyz’, my mind was solely focused on Canines and Not Motor Racing for a rare instance! Although the lone Feline Cat was driving me Bonkers with Her never ending attempts to sit upon Thy lap, Meow!

 

As I wasn’t really concerned about missing All five major Motorsport categories races, i.e.; Sports Cars, FIA World Endurance Championship and IMSA Weathertech SportsCar Championships from the Super Sebring weekend. Plus Formula 1, IndyCar and MotoGP.

 

Although I did ask Mary Ellen to find out for Mwah whilst spending copious amounts of lap time with both “Hang 10: Hilo and Bertie’, the two Chihuahua’s of the pack, whilst the lone Feline Cat Evaine got an “A” for trying to sit upon my lap Nonstop, Meow!

 

As I thought I was losing my “Marbles” when entering the Bathroom and was startled by a loud Meow! As Evain was sitting atop the counter next to the sink with the faucet’s water going Drip Drip Drip, to which I thought seriously? The Freakin’ Cat knows how to turn on the water, WTF! Before Mary Ellen told me She’d turned it on for the Cat…

 

As it must have been Friday night since I know She told me that Max Verstappen was Quickest, since I’d later learn on Saturday that Ferrari’s Charles Leclerc had claimed his first Pole position since last year’s Azerbaijan  Grand Prix some Gory Nine months ago, remember that Y’all? Ahead of Verstappen’s Red Bull being the Crème filling of an Scuderia Ferrari pastry, with Carlos Sainz Jr. P3.

 

But was way more impressed and Happy when She read me the Top-10, including being Stunned by Kevin Bacon’ Magnussen for Haas in seventh upon his Formula 1 return, one place behind Alfa Romeo’s Valtteri Bottas lining up alongside his former Mercedes team leader Sir Lewis! Whilst Bottas Merc’ replacement George Russell was P9.

 

Also on Saturday afternoon, Mary ellen apparently read me just the Top-6 Texas Motor Speedway’s (TMS) IndyCar Qualie’ results, since I recall Her stopping after reading Hulio’s name to Mwah in P6.

 

As I was most surprised by the Pole winner and third, being very Happy for Arrow McLaren SP’s Felix Rosenqvist to claim his maiden Oval Pole, along with an impressive run from 40-Something’s Taku-san’ (Takuma Sato) in the Coyne-Ware Racing Honda bracketing whom the media are now calling ScottyMac’, aka Scott McLaughlin giving Chevy a  Front row lockout.

 

Fourth was Scotty Mac’s Penske teammate DJWillyP’ (Will Power) followed by Chip Ganassi Racing’s Scott Dixon and the aforementioned Helio Castroneves as the lead Meyer shank Racing entry.

 

With the Top-10 being filled out by Penske’s Josef Newgarden in P7, with Ed Carpenter Racing’s Rinus VeeKay, Andretti Autosport’s Colton Herta and AMSP’s Pato O’Ward in tow.

 

Originally thought we were going for one last Walkabout’ with the Hoonds’ Sunday morning, since it was supposed to be Dry between 8-11AM, before I got to listen to almost the entire IndyCar race via Zed Internets’ instead, but more on that later…

 

Waiting in line to board the Ferry Monday afternoon to Tacoma, I finally asked Mary ellen to read me the results of the Bahrain Grand Prix, for which She said I was wondering when you’d ask me? Which secretly I was hoping it would be Leclerc winning, so I was Happy when She told me it was a Ferrari 1-2 with Leclerc leading Sainz across the stripe with a surprising Hamilton in third, with No mention of the Red Bulls! Although I was more impressed with Magnussen’s Fairytale season start with a fifth place finish for Haas! One position ahead of an impressive Valtteri Bottas Alfa Romeo Debut! Whilst quietly, Bottas Rookie Chinese teammate GuanYu Zhou scored a solitary point on his F1 Debut upon finishing P10.

 

 

As it was the Monegasque’s (Leclerc) and la Scuderia’s first win in some Two and a Half years since triumphing at Home at Monza’s 2019 Italian Grand Prix, along with being Ferrari’s first 1-2 Season Opener finish since the 2010 Bahrain Grand Prix. The latter Stat I heard Kroftie’, aka Sky Sports David Kroft mentioning either during Jeddah’s Friday (Free Practice) FP2 session or Saturday’s FP3 session, where Leclerc was fastest during All three practices. Along with learning that la Scuderia’s last Front Row lockout was the 2019 Singapore Grand Prix.

 

Then a day after returning Home and scouring le Intrawoods’, I learned that the Grandfathered LMP1 Alpine A480 had won the weather shortened 1000 Miles of Sebring FIA World Endurance Championship (WEC) Season Opening race. As the race was Red Flagged three times, ultimately for a passing Thunderstorm Friday night.

 

As I must say that the WEC seems like a Lame Duck this season, with currently only four top flight Hypercars, albeit the Alpine and lone Scuderia Glickenhaus are vastly outclassed by the two Werks’ Toyota GR010’s!

 

Thus Peugeot’s Brace of radical 9X8 prototypes cannot arrive soon enough this year, before the real Competizione begins in 2023 when the Prancing Horse Hypercar arrives, along with Scuderia Ferrari being joined by the likes of Porsche, Acura, BMW and Cadillac at Circuit de la Sarthe! Since last I read was that Audi’s LMDH, Err IMSA GTP plans were on Hold…

 

Also learned that the following day at Sebring, Thee Cheepster’, nee Chip Ganassi Racing’s #02 Caddy’ with Earl Bamber, Alex Lynn and Neil Jani, drafted in as a Substitute Driver due to IndyCar’s TMS Conflict led a 1-2-3 Cadillac DPi V.R sweep at this year’s 12 Hours of Sebring! With last year’s “Mach 5 Mustang Sally” JDC Miller Motorsports second and the #31 Whelen Engineering entry third.

 

As unbeknownst to Mwah, as I was Rootin’ for Marcus Ericsson to pull off an unlikely Oval victory Sunday at Texas Motor Speedway, that would have given Cheep’ two wins that weekend…

 

And lastly, Miguel Oliveira aboard His Factory KTM mount won his fourth MotoGP race at the rain sodden Indonesia MotoGP race, ahead of current MotoGP World Champion Fabio Quartararo. Whilst Pramac Racing Ducati Satellite rider Johann Zarco passed Ducati Werks’ rider “Thriller (Jack) Miller” for the Podium’s final step. 

Sports Cars Rewind: 2021 Sebring 12 Hours Postscript and Beyond

Since I’ve got Zero Clue how this year’s race stacks up against last year’s Thriller?

 

Whilst like All travelers do upon return, I’m needing a Vacation from my Vacation in order to catch Thy Breath. Having missed this year’s Sebring 12 Hours race, which I consider to be One of the Big Four, i.e.; Rolex 24, Sebring, 24 Heurs du Mans and Petit Le Mans…

 

Although I’m sorta glad I missed this year’s race, since I’m still Peeved with Indy Cars Deliberately Screwing Up a time Honoured tradition of letting some of it’s top Drivers compete at Sebring!

 

Rear View Mirror

Seems like a good way to wrap-up my meandering, elongated Sports Car Menagerie, Remember ‘em Y’all, eh? Chirp chirp Bueller! As the sounds of le Hamburgular’, nee SeaBass’, aka Sebastien Bourdais Holding onto a Damaged racecar with it’s rear wing Broken en route to victory seems such a lifetime ago…

 

Especially due to IndyCar’s unsatiable appetite to be on Network TV at Any cost! We the Fans won’t be treated to our normal allotment of top flight IndyCar Drivers Moonlighting at Sebring this year. As Smooth Move IndyCar and Penske Entertainment!

 

As it had been since the end of January, i.e.; January 30^th (2021) to be precise the last time I heard Leigh Diffey calling a race some 76 Gory Days prior! Hmm, what’s that ‘bout 76 bloody Trombones…

 

But NBC Sports El Prompto, remember them Y’all? Reminded Mwah why I prefer to listen to Sports cars on IMSA.com instead, because apparently NBCSN was trying to package its allotted Commercials for the 12 Hours race into the opening two hour TV segment, BARF!

 

As I got so Annoyed over the tiny bite-sized morsels ‘O racing coverage that I got my Talking Keychain clock out and started timing ‘em. As we went 4mins, then 3mins of commercials, 6mins and back to three more gory minutes ‘O more commercials! Another 5 short minutes before Uhm, Yuhs Guessed It! And so on ‘N so on before switching to NBC’s Gold Bricks Paywall Track Pass which I refuse to sign up for. Especially since I’m Blind and Don’t have a Smart TV Buggers! For which if I did, I wouldn’t be able to SEE what to select Onscreen to Bleepin’ Tune-in, but I digress; Uhm, Rant Over, Sorta…

 

As I began watching, Err listening to Messer’s Diffey, Calvin Fish and Junior’ (Dale Earnhardt Jr.) in the booth with Snidely Whiplash and Oh No Mr. Bill, The Wherewolf! on Pitlane, i.e.; Marty Snyder & Kevin Lee respectively somewheres just South of the races One hour mark when having a leisurely breakfast.

 

And I’m not a Racing Driver, and wait for it! I Didn’t stay at a Holiday Inn either, Rimshot please…

 

But surely they All must know you cannot win the race in it’s first hour, Righto? As the Hot Blooded Pipo Derani in the #31 Whelen Engineering Caddy’ got squeezed into the wall vs. Renger Van der Zande in the #01 Chip Ganassi Racing Cadd-Oh-lacc’ just 45mins into the 12 Hours race! Wit the #31 sustaining right-side suspension damage and ultimately going 3-laps Down. A precursor to how the day’s action would go.

 

 

And I was unaware that Corvette was honouring it’s Silver anniversary with engine lubricants partner Mobil 1, who just so happens to be the long running title sponsor of the Sebring 12 Hours race, which is so last year, Y’all!

 

As Sorry folks, that’s as far as I got on last year’s Sebring Wrap before I Dunno what interrupted thousth? And instead of trying to regale Y’all over le Hamburgular’s mastery of bringing his wounded “Mustang Sally Mach 5” Prototype Home First, I’ll direct you to the link below instead.

 

https://www.frontstretch.com/2021/03/21/jdc-miller-motorsports-wins-rough-and-tumble-12-hours-of-sebring/

 

An Unsung Hero…

Thinking now over last year’s winning All French lineup in an Americun’ Cadd-Oh-lacc’ with Boomin’ Detroit V-8 iron, makes me think of Bob Wolek begrudgingly admiring ‘Ol SuperTex’, nee A.J. foyt’s driving prowess behind the wheel of their winning Porsche 962 effort at that other Florida endurance race…

 

We All know of le Hamburgular’, nee SeaBass’, aka Sebastien Bourdais driving accomplishments. Being a Rolex 24 Overall winner, 24 Heurs du Mans Class winner and Four-times Champ Car World Series Champion with a total of 37 IndyCar wins to his credit.

 

Whilst Loic Divall’s No Slouch either, having won the 2013 FIA World Endurance Championship title and 24 Huers du Mans with the likes of Mr. Le Mans, aka Tom Kristensen and Thee “Scottish Terrier,” nee Alan McNish.

 

Nope, for Mwah instead, I recall after last year’s unexpected JDC Miller Motorsports W’, it was the other driver who seemingly gets very little credit, whom I’ve taken to calling Tristan Turbo’ Vautier.

 

As I first became aware of Vautier Wayback’ in 2013, when as the reigning Indy Lights Champion, Sam Schmidt took his Lights prize money and inserted him into is fledgling IndyCar team. Although just for one season before Tristan got the Schmidt Heave Ho!

 

As I’ve still got that pair of Freebie’ Coastal.com Sun glasses from nearly a Decade ago tucked away somewheres’ in Tomaso Manor. That were given out at Mother Speedway during Vautier’s maiden Indy 500 outing…

 

Thus I’d argue that winning the 12 Hours of Sebring is Tristan’s Biggest win, although I suppose He’d rank his Indy Lights and Star Mazda titlse alongside it?

 

And before researching Monsieur Vautier’s racing record, I thought Sebring was his first win since his Indy Lights Days…

 

Although now knowing that Tristan won the 2018 Intercontinental GT Championship, which I think I was actually Rootin’ for Him Wayback then, but had totally forgotten about. Since I believe He won that title during the 8 Hours of Indianapolis?

 

So Kudos to Tristan for making a career out of Sports Car racing, even if it’s Not as “Sexy” as being an IndyCar Driver contesting Mother Speedway’s May race. And Nah, No lame Arse Jokes about Tristan’s career being So Bright, Uhm? Especially since I’ve got No Damn idea what Gory Box those Cheap Sun glasses are in, Hya! 

Harvesting’

As why do All of my Daily thoughts revolve round Motorsports?

 

Y’all know like when the most technological racing cars on thoust planet are recharging Thar Batteries for another Mondo’, Insane Blazingly Fast lap!

 

Although I Don’t gotz’ No Flashing lights! Nor the obligatory Caution Slow Vehicles triangle on my Backside!

 

And why is that ‘Ol classic song You Picked A Fine Time to leave Me Lucille Blarin’ upon my internal Jukebox right now? Probably since this is intended to just be a Quick Jot’ as ‘Ol Joe would say. Nah, Not that Joe, but Grizzled F1 Journo’ Joe Saward instead…

 

As your Humble No Fenders Scribe Tomaso should be on his way back to the Oregon Coast and Ye Bungalow by The Sea when Y’all read this. Having elected to go on Holiday the past week vs. staying Home to “Watch,” Err listen to four Motor Races, i.e.; Sports Cars, Formula 1, IndyCar and MotoGP, Crikeys!

 

As Hopefully I won’t have anything quite as exciting as my last time Home upon the Rails when riding the Coast Starlight Amtrak! Which I regaled Y’all ‘bout in the No Fenders tome below.

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2021/11/a-brief-delay.html 

IndyCar Delays Hybrid Motors until 2024

As will this allow Indy Cars to potentially have a third Engine Partner on the Grid, finally?

 

Just another IndyCar tidbit  to get caught up upon, which presumably Y’all probably know already! As Sorry Kiddoes’, I’ve got Zero Clue how the One lane PJ1 Traction Compound “slippery liquids” Texas Oval track race went, nor any of the others this past weekend…

 

Naturally after I’d posted my thoughts upon whether or not the new for 2023 IndyCar Hybrid motors would happen. We know that IndyCar’s wisely decided to wait a further year due to All of the Supply chain and Technical issues regarding having reliable new 2.4-liter V-6 turbocharged Hybrid engines available for the entire IndyCar Grid.

 

In another typical Marshall Pruett Racer article, the four IndyCar Drivers testing their 2023 “Mule” chassis All emphatically said the same thing. Bring out the New Dallara chassis along with the new Hybrid lumps!

 

While Mike Hull, Chip Ganassi Racing’s General Manager said what I’ve already stated. And No, I’m certainly Not suggesting I’m as Smart as Mr. Hull or any of the other IndyCar Team Owners are!

 

But why would IndyCar make All of the teams invest millions in updating a decade’s Old Dallara DW12 chassis to accommodate the new Hybrid engines and All of their ancillaries just in order to turn around and have to purchase Brand New Dallara IndyCar chassis a year or two later?

 

And Fast Eddie’, aka Ed Carpenter said it Best. All of the teams need Firm numbers on Costs, since typically the numbers go Up when implementing something new of this scale…

 

Yet Josef Newgarden, who tested the Chevy “Mule” at Mid Ohio had an interesting comment. Noting how He thought the Added weight to the “Old Gal” would potentially make driving such a “Boat” difficult for the Average Driver on the IndyCar Grid! Raising an interesting Safety “wrinkle,” and I suppose if taken out of context, could rankle some of his fellow competitors.

 

Yet I liked Zack Brown’s idea best. Suggesting that Dallara (with IndyCar’s imput) come up with some sort of Financing option over a few years to Help entice Teams into buying Brand New Dallara’s concurrently with the introduction of the new Hybrid engine systemes. Or Heaven’s Forbid, the Engine Manufacturers and IndyCar give All teams further Discouts to do the right thing by introducing a totally New, “Clean Sheet” 2024 Dallara DW24 Hybrid powered racing car!

 

As Marshall’s article is definitely worth reading…

 

https://racer.com/2022/03/03/support-growing-for-new-indycar-chassis-in-tandem-with-hybrid-powerplant/ 

F1: Almost Time to go Racing

Showtime Boys ‘N Girls’, let’s get ready to Rock ‘N roll!

 

Yessiree Bob’, Bob’s Your Uncle Mateys! As the longest ever season of Formula 1 with 23 scheduled events on the F1 Calendar is about to go Green! Although Don’t Jump the Starting lights just yet! Since like ‘Ol Bob Varsha used to say. Before You can go Racing, First You Need to Qualify!

 

And with Russia now Off the F1 Calendar permanently, will formula 1 stand “Pat” at a massive 22 races or will Thar be another replacement for Russia?

 

Although it’s not the first time with Bahrain opening the F1 Calendar this Sunday. And Thar better be an Australian Grand Prix this year Mates! But it just always feels Weird beginning in Bahrain! As I’ll date Thyself by noting when I began my F1 Odyssey, Thar weren’t any races in the Middle east, and now there’s four, nearly a fifth of Ye Calendar, but I digress…

 

2022 Formula 1 Drivers

Mercedes: #44 Lewis Hamilton, #63 George Russell; Red Bull: No. 1 Max Verstappen, #11 Sergio Perez; Ferrari: #16 Charles Leclerc, #55 Carlos Sainz, Jr; McLaren: #3 Daniel Ricciardo, #4 Lando Norris; Alpine: #14 Fernando Alonso, #31 Esteban Ocon; Scuderia AlphaTauri: #10 Pierre Gasley, #22 Yuki Tsunoda; Aston Martin: #5 Sebastian Vettel, #18 Lance Stroll; Williams: #6 Nicholas Latifi, #23 Alexander albon; Alfa Romeo: #24 (R) GuanYu Zhou, #77 Valtteri Bottas; Haas: #20 Kevin Magnussen, #47 Mick Schumacher.

(R Denotes Rookie Driver)

 

Sorry Folks, but if you’re looking for any Hard Hittin’ Formula 1 preview, then Y’all have come to the wrong place! Especially since the first Day’s Practice sessions have already finished.

 

And Dating Thyself, since I still prefer to refer to F1 Teams in their respective F1 constructors rankings, I’ve listed the 10 Teams Drivers in order of last year’s finishing order.

 

As there’s been very little “Real” movement on the Driver Front, with seven of the ten F1 Teams lineups remaining unchanged. At least when I began scribblin’ this, since naturally Rooskie’ Nikita Mazepin was on Shaky ground due to Russia’s Invasion of Ukraine!

 

Obviously the biggest driver move centers round the Silver Arrows Dumping Valtteri Bottas in favour of young charger George Russell. With the Mercedes “Junior” Driver being promoted from Team Willy’ after a three year stint.

 

Filling Russell’s Williams seat this year is Alexander Albon, who still has ties to Red Bull, making for interesting “Doings” at Grove, since Williams runs a Merc’ PU (Power Unit) and ancillaries.

 

This just leaves us with Alfa Romeo’s All New Driver lineup, since Bottas conveniently replaces his Finnish bosom Buddy Thee Iceman’, aka Kimi Raikkonen who retired last year.

 

While much Fanfare will be made over GuanYu Zhou, the Sport’s first ever Chinese Driver, who’s the only rookie on the F1 Grid this season. As Zhou who’s 22 years old, finished third overall in last year’s FIA Formula 2 Championship. Scoring five wins and three Poles during his 68 starts.

 

Then as we All know, Haas terminated it’s contracts with title Sponsor Uralkali and Nikita Mazepin (publicly) on Saturday, March 6^th. Although I’d say this Saturday News Dump didn’t go unnoticed as intended, albeit missing the major News Outlets at least for the weekend.

 

As this seemed like a No Brainer, especially after Haas went to the trouble of running a plain white car on the last day of the Barcelona Shakedown test and removed All Uralkali signage. Just leaving us wondering who’d become Mick Schumacher’s new teammate?

 

While you have to love Gene Haas’s comments during the Las Vegas NASCAR race that Sunday. Where Gene, and I’m just guessing here, said sardonically: No, we’re fine on Money, it’s just A Bigger Negative number…

 

Then on March 9^th, one day before the second and final Pre-season F1 Test began in Bahrain. Haas surprised us all with the announcement of having re-signed former Haas F1 Team Driver Kevin Bacon’ Magnussen! Whale’, at least I Didn’t See that coming. Since Kevin seemingly was tied-up as a Factory Peugeot FIA World Endurance Championship Driver this year, while I’m not clear on whether or not He was also under contract to Chip Ganassi Racing’s Sports Car team? Since He thanked both organizations for letting Him go so quickly…

 

Kevin previously drove for Haas between 2017-2020, and it’ll be fun seeing how Mick Schumacher stacks up against the Dane. Since I always felt Magnussen was better than Romain Grosjean was during their Haas F1 Days!

 

As now we’ll All just be ah-flutter’ waiting to See if Thars any true Shakeup in the usual F1 Pecking Order at Bahrain and the rest of the season… 

This Weekend’s Three Rings ‘O Motorsports

And that Don’t even consider Dem’ Taxicab Bombers or whether Thars a MotoGP race…

 

This coming weekend is absolutely a RevHead’ or MotorHeads’ Delight, with thou Three Pillars ‘O Motorsports in action, albeit IndyCar very Unwisely decided to go “Head-to-Head” with it’s Sports Car Brethren! Choosing a very Unforgiving Super speedway Oval that’s littered with some “slippery liquids” Atrocious PJ1 Traction Compound bound to make it another overly dull race, Spew!

 

Actually, Thars’ four major sanctioning Bodies going racing this weekend, without delving into RASSCAR’, whilst I haven’t checked to “See” if MotoGP’s in action? Oh, Yes, those ultimate road racing Kneedraggers’ are competing on the City Streets of Indonesia…

 

As You’ll need a Scorecard to keep track of which Channel What’s On? Arse-sumedly the FIA World Endurance Championship is on Motortrend TV, albeit No idea how many Hours? Then the IMSA Weathertech Sportscar Championship should be available either on Big NBC, USA Network, Peacock or some silly combination of All three?

 

Sunday’s IndyCar race is on Big NBC with MotoGP on CNBC. And Formula 1 will be on a multitude ‘O ESPN Channels per usual over the weekend.

 

As Always, and especially this weekend, Check your local listings for Times and Places!

 

First up, and I’ve got No idea how or if there will be any side effects for G-Drive Racing, the only Russian Flagged Sports Cars competitors I know of, who I’m fairly certain compete in both of the premiere LMP2 series.

 

Although the FIA’s World endurance Championship is hosting a season’s Prologue at Sebring from March 12-13^th, ahead of it’s season opening 1,000 miles Sebring race Friday, March 18^th over the Super Sebring weekend.

 

So presumably All of Yuhs Diehard Sports Car Aficionados will know if there’s any “Knock-on” effects over Russia’s Invasion of Ukraine adversely effecting G-Drive or any Russian competitors before Friday’s Season Opener at Sebring, Righto?

 

Ironically on March 6^th, the very same day that the Haas F1 Team announced it’s immediate termination of it’s contracts with title sponsor Uralkali and Nikita Mazepin. Fellow Russian Driver Roman Rusinov announced via his Instagram account that He was unwilling to sign the FIA’s Neutrality Clause Document, and that G-Drive Racing was withdrawing from the World Endurance Championship and (ELMS) European Le Mans Series with immediate effect.

 

As this led to the ACO reopening it’s Entry list for Applicants for this year’s 24 Heurs du Mans and ELMS for a 48 Hour period between March 7-9, with revised Entry lists to be announced later.

Believe I read via Racer’s Sports Car section awhile ago there’s 39 entries slated for this season’s WEC campaign. With the top flight Hypercars consisting of either a meager three or four entries?

 

The reigning champions Toyota Gazoo Racing return with their All conquering two car GR010 V-6 turbo Hypercars squad, with Alpine continuing with it’s Grandfathered LMP1 Spec A480 normally aspirated Gibson V-8. Whilst there’s a single car Scuderia Glickenhaus 007 LMH V-6 turbo entry, listed with Ryan Briscoe as one of it’s drivers,. Arse-sumedly contesting the entire season?

 

But we do know that the unique brace ‘O Werks’ Peugeot 9X8 Prototypes won’t race in anger until after Le Mans, with scuttlebutt suggesting that the July 10^th Six Hours of Monza could be their debut.

 

While I believe this will be one of the final times to see Corvette C8.R Big Boyz’ GTE Pro racecar in action Stateside. Since I’m Arse-suming’ the FIA/ACO is keeping this minnowesqe GT Class unchanged thru 2023, or around until 2024? Since surely we’ll See some sort of similar class restructuring a la GTD Pro Across thou Puddle eventually.

 

Then just a Dozen Hours later on Saturday, March 19^th, IMSA will host it’s annual 12 Hours of Sebring which saw the likes of Action Express Racing, Chip Ganassi Racing, Meyer Shank Racing and Vasser Sullivan Racing All scrambling to find replacement drivers for their originally slated contingent of Moonlighting IndyCar Drivers, since Dallas Fort Worth and Florida are too Far away to cycle back ‘N forth!

 

Obviously, A.J. Foyt Racing will have finally revealed publicly who’ll be driving it’s third #11 entry on the Oval portions of the calendar, since they’ll need somebody for Texas Motor Speedway (TMS) this Sunday. As the Odds on favourite is J.R. Hildebrand.

 

As Hopefully this will be the one and Only time IndyCar foolishly decides to Clash with the traditional March 12 Hours of Sebring race weekend date. As it’s just plain Stupid!

 

Look, I get Indy Cars wanting to be on Network TV, but are they just Cowtowing to TMS? Since most likely it’ll be another One Groove Slip-Slide All Skate race with how many viewers watching? As I think this is the final year of Texas’s current contract?

 

Formula 1 Host it’s Season Opener at Bahrain, with MotoGP’s second round taking place in Indonesia, and is it just Mwah? Or “Isn’t  it Ironic?” that IndyCar, F1 and MotoGP are All being shown on Sunday. Not to mention that I think MotoGP’s going Head-to-Head with IndyCar’s on Comcast’s third TV Network…

 

As I’m simply getting totally Knackered from typing All of this and will preview Formula 1 and MotoGP later. So enjoy the races Everybody! 

Put A Sox in It, Nikita!

Especially since You’re Not A Dog of War…

 

Yeah, what’s that Quaint ‘Ol Saying about Politics and Sports Don’t Mix, Eh?

 

Hey Nikita Good Buddy’, I get It! As you’re having to take it on the Chin for your leader Invading Ukraine and Killing countless Unresponsible Civilians! But somehow I’m guessing you’re nice ‘N comfy, Warm and Dry with Clean linens, Dining on Fine Food, perhaps some Beluga Caviar, Steak Tar Tar washed down with a glass or three of Dom Perignon? Along with an ample supply of Russian Vodka, Ritz Crackers and Toilet Paper…

 

With No Mortars, Cluster Bombs or large calibre Shells or Bombs raining Down from the Skies Upon You Hourly!

 

Speaking of Formula 1 right now, if Y’all cannot tell? I’m super Peeved with Nikita Mazepin, previously the lone Russian formula 1 driver, who’s contract along with his Dad’s Uralkali sponsorship were terminated Saturday March 6^th by the American based Haas F1 Team they were associated with.

 

As I understand Nikita being upset over not being able to compete under an FIA Neutral Flag. But this 23yr old’s Bellyaching about how He’s been treated so “Poorly” by Haas, Doesn’t feel He could ever feel Safe racing for them again and is considering legal actions is All Horseshit! Like seriously? Could you ever truly be “Neutral” Nikita?

 

His dad is a Billionaire of a Russian Fertilizer company, presumably one of Russia’s biggest? And is a close, personal Allie of Czar Putin’s! And Nikita even has a photo of the three of them smiling for the camera on his Instagram site, which I’d Arse-sume He’s proudly left upon it! So what does this spoiled Brat expect?

 

Boo Hoo Hoo! So you’re not in Formula 1 Any more, Big Fucking Dealio Exclaim!How about the currently 2 million Ukrainian Refugees, ironically as of Thursday, March 10^th, when Formula 1 was off serenely testing in the Desert Kingdom of Bahrain. Since surely this ridiculous number, the largest since World War II will continue Growing! As these  Millions of Displaced Ukraine civilians numbers will only increase, with another Half Million Added on Friday, March 11^th you Pompous, Entitled 23 year old  JackArse!

 

Hey Nikita, may be you should go get a “V” for victory tatoo to Drown your Sorrows, Eh? 

F1: A Web of Deceit

As it’s Strange viewing a Despicable War thru the lenses of Motor Racing…

 

For Mwah, the FIA’s ridiculous position of there being No Politics in Formula 1 has been absolutely Farcical since I Dunno when? Since it was this Machiavellian aspect of the Sport that partially drew me to it some Gory 36 years ago, when somebody named Uncle Bernaughty ruled it with an Iron Fist…

 

As why can I still clearly recall thinking how Obtuse this position was when Formula 1 willingly let itself be used solely for Propaganda purposes Wayback in 2014, when a one Mr. Vladimir Putin was primping for the International Cameras when Doling out the trophies to the three podium finishers at the Debutante Russian Grand Prix at Sochi.

 

Grizzled F1 Journo’ Joes Saward notes that the (FIA) Federation “Shall refrain from Manifesting Racial, Political or Religious Discrimination in the Course of it’s Activities and taking Any Action in this Respect.” For which I’d like to know, aren’t Human Rights  violations both Racial and Religious Discrimination? Meaning why has Formula 1 so willingly let itself be a “tool” for the various Countries doing so? And then Sportswashing their Hands of Any wrongdoings…

 

Yet the FIA also enjoys Crowing over it’s having full Membership recognition status from the IOC since 2013, yet ignored the International Olympic Committee’s call for Banning All Russian and Belarusian Athletes from competing Internationally following Russia’s Invasion of Ukraine…

 

Although one must ponder the Hypocrisy of the IOC itself over the Decades, and why it’s repeatedly turned a Blind Eye towards Russia (and China) regarding it’s total corruption of the Olympic Games, most notably the repeated Russian Doping violations…

 

While I’m Not trying to imply that Russia’s the only country caught Cheating by Dubious means. As the blight of what I’ve called the Tour de Farce for years now, with Lance Armstrong and Floyd Landis’s extreme Doping measures spring to mind. Yet these two Disgraced U.S. Cyclists exploits Pale in comparison to the Industrial scale of Doping Russia conceived in order to triumph in the Olympics…

 

Thus with Safety Car Gate and now the F1 World council’s ridiculous measure of allowing Russian and Belarusian Drivers to compete under an FIA Neutral Flag, I have to say that Mohammed Ben Sulayen’s regime seems to be off to a Shaky Start! Whilst you can read Joe Saward’s take upon why the FIA has made a Mistake in the link below.

 

https://joesaward.wordpress.com/2022/03/02/why-the-fia-has-made-a-mistake/

 

Is it Fair for Russian and Belarusian Drivers to be used as Pawns in the crisis of War, Absolutely Not! But unfortunately it’s Always the Countries Civilians who Pay the price of A Ruler’s Heavy Handedness.

 

Since if the FIA was really trying to stay Neutral in it’s stance, then it wouldn’t have taken to picking the low Hanging Fruit of Cancelling the Russian Grand Prix this year and beyond. As I must wonder how Any Russian or Belarusian Drivers or Race Teams can feel Freely over Showing Up at Sebring for this year’s FIA World Endurance Championship events? Not to mention competing in Europe?

 

And speaking of racing teams. Obviously the Haas F1 Team would be caught squarely in the Crosshairs of this Russian Invasion. For which I feel No sorry for Uralkali or Nikita Mazepin’s Dismissal! Nor for Haas itself, which seems to have a long History of Aligning itself with Shady Characters! Can Y’all Say Rich Energy?

 

And seriously Nikita? Whom I prefer calling by his nickname of MazzaSpin’, Yikes! Who’s complain publicly over his willingness to race under the FIA’s Neutrality Clause was Completely Ignored! What are you expecting with your Father’s totally known Close links to Czar Putin?

 

As I’ve Never been a Fan of Mazepin’s. Ever since his Groping of a Russian Female Against Her wishes were ignored in an Instagram post that went viral before Nikita had even begun racing in Formula 1.

 

But Hey, it’s Business as Usual for F1, and Everything’s Hunky dory since now they’re Not going to Russia this year… 

AUTOS: Bugatti Blitzes Autobahn in Berlin

And to think that Once upon A Time, 300kph was the Holy Grail of Automobiles…

 

Strangely, Tuning into The Bob and Sheri Show, a nationally syndicated Radio Talk show the Friday morning prior to this year’s “Getter done” Day-toner’ 500, I just so happened to Drop-in when Bob Lacey was telling the tale of a Bugatti Chiron doing an Insane speed upon the Autobahn, which I hadn’t heard about.

 

As it was funny Hearing Bob butcher the word Chiron as Shurron, and then Daftly guessing said Bugatti cost $300,000; Uhm, Strike 2 Bob!

 

Yet it’s somewhat amusing how Slow News cycles can go. Since Bob was regaling us about a story that first broke a month ago…

 

As perhaps you’ve already heard or read about the Czechoslovakian Businessman who decided to test the outer limits of his fairly exclusive Bugatti Chiron supercar on the Autobahn. Ultimately claiming having reached a peak speed of 417kph, nearly an astounding 260mph!

(259.7mph)

 

Since reputedly the $3 million Bugatti chiron, successor to the Veyron was limited to 500 examples, All of which have been purchased. And the Chiron’s  8.0-litre Quad turbocharged W16 engine is electronically governed to a maximum velocity of 420 Clicks’ ( Kilometers per Hour) in “New Money” as Professor (Steve) Matchett used to Chime. Or 261mph for us Yanks’, Shiesa! As Bugatti was concerned that no modern tyre could withstand such top speeds! Although probably truly more worried about the driver’s ability, and impending litigation…

 

As Radim Passer, a Czech Real Estate tycoon’s real “Crime” seems to be having been brash enough to post a video of this top speed run upon Youtube this January! Presumably filmed by a passenger Ridin’ Shotgun (with him) during the early Sunday morning Blitz upon a fairly deserted portion of the Autobahn with No posted Speed limit. Yet German Prosecutors are now considering a penalty of up to two years in Jail for Reckless Driving!

 

But even better yet was Sheri’s cluelessness during the segment. Innocently asking How Fast does NASCAR Go? To which Bob quickly claimed Strike 3 when saying 220mph…

 

But Sheri Lynch’s insistence that NASCAR were the Fastest racing cars on the planet made me not only chuckle, but realize just how Humungous of A Hole IndyCar lives in! Since IndyCar Doesn’t even register in the common person’s brain! Making me wonder if IndyCar can ever Alleviate this perception?

 

Yet like Groundhog Charles, chuck, Sam, Phil or whatever his name is? RASSCAR’s shadow is so Humungous, that we’ll be Seeing another 35 weeks of it!

 

Sadly, I’ll suggest this common American perception of Only NASCAR exists Stateside is largely due to that nefarious period of time in Open Wheel Racing simply, and forever known as The Split!

 

As IndyCar’s, err Penske Entertainment Corporation’s Numero Uno Puffed Shirt Mark Miles can pontificate until the Hens come Home, or Punxsutawney Phil Doesn’t see His Shadow! About how it’s ratings are Up, Viewership’s Up, Attendance is Up and So on and So on, But! As I’ve scribbled countless times before here on No Fenders. If you’re ratings and other metrics are All at Rock Bottom, then you’ve got only two options, i.e.; go Up or go Out of Business…

 

And if Roger Penske’s so worried about getting Eyeballs on IndyCar, hence why the push to have it on Big NBC 14 of it’s 17 race calendar this season. Then why is NBC Shaving a Half hour Off of the normal three Hours timeblock devoted to traditional IndyCar Broadcasts? Uhm, No Post-race after the series kickoff event? Knock this Shit Off IndyCar, NBC and Comcast! 

INDYCAR: St Pete Rewind

But just How Much should we take away from the Season’s first race outcome?

 

Yeah, what’s that ‘Ol sayin’ about A Dollar Short and A Day late!

 

Since by the time I post this on No Fenders it’ll be Old News. And surely Y’all will already know the results. As I’ll just toss out some random observations instead. Whilst we All wait with Baited Breath over another Pj1 “Slippery liquids” Traction Compound induced race at Texas Motor Speedway March 20^th.

 

Rookie Drivers

(Friday Practice-1/Saturday Practice-2/Qualifying/Race results)

#11 Tatiana Calderon) 26/26/25/24^th; -3 laps

#14 Kyle Kirkwood) 12/8/12/18th

#18 David Malukas) 10/17/24/R-Accident (26^th)

#29 Devlin DeFrancesco) 13/15/18/22nd

#30 Christian Lundgaard) 25/16/15/11th

#77 Callum Ilott) 22/18/19/19th

 

Although I’m Not planning on doing this for every race. As I’ve already scribbled here upon No Fenders, I’m very interested over this Six Pack of IndyCar Rookies vs. the rest of the field. As I’ve listed each of their finishing positions for each session above, excluding Sunday’s Warm Up results. And am curious how many of these drivers will become longterm IndyCar fixtures of the future?

 

Although we really shouldn’t be surprised by Kyle Kirkwood’s performance, since after all He is the reigning Indy Lights Champion, and simply A Bad Arse Driver! With His only limitation this year being driving for A.J. Foyt’s team.

 

And with Sebastien Bourdais noting during Saturday’s Racer French Fry and Hamburger Show, It’s Back! Track Temp during Qualie’ was a Sizzling 120-degrees, making for super slippery track conditions. And almost everybody was struggling to learn how to fully utilize their Alternate Flinstone’ Red Rubber, for which Bourdais said were One ‘N done! And He didn’t think track conditions would change much for the race. Saying it’ll be interesting to see who can make a set of the Alternate’s last a Stint, or will Thar be a bunch of Alternative strategies instead?

 

Leading towards Race Day…

Some of what stood out to me over the weekend. Symone’, aka Pageantry’, nee Simon Pagenaud looked really Strong during his Meyer Shank Racing debut. Finishing  P4/3^rd/6^th during the two practice sessions and Qualifying.

 

While DJ WillyP’, nee Will Power and Alexander Rossi also looked Strong with Top 5 results in both Practice sessions

 

Initially I was Puzzled over Romain Grosjean going from “top of Thee Pops” (P1) on Friday  to 19^th on Saturday morning’s second practice, Huh? Before learning the Frenchman was looking at his Dashboard? After coming round Turn 10 and Slamming into the back of Takuma Sato’s car!

 

As a bunch of Drivers had Packed-up vying for Clear track-space! As both Grosjean and Sato’s session’s were done! Wit the front end of Grosjean’s and Sato’s Rear both being majorly Askew!

 

Really Confused over Scott Dixon’s Struggles, i.e.; P20 Saturday morning. Along with RLLR’s struggles, as Dalton Kellett finished Ahead of two thirds of Booby ruble’s Squad during Saturday’s practice, Aye Karumba! With Graham Rahal and Jack Harvey an uncharacteristic P22-24 respectively! Sandwiching former RLLR Driver Sato in P23 at the end of the second practice session.

 

Also, Josef Newgarden was the slowest of 3 Penske’s Saturday morning with McLaughlin P1, Power P5 and Josef P14. But remember, Newgarden’s got a brand new Engineer this season…

 

And while both of Arrow McLaren SP Drivers Pato O’Ward and Felix Rosenqvist’s Qualifying results were Disappointing, languishing P16-21 respectively. (With Pato Hitting the Wall in Qualifying) Apparently the most insensed Driver on the Pitlane was Alexander Rossi. As IndyCar’s Oldest Blogger Geo. Phillips of Oilpressure Fame noted how He’d planned on taking a picture of Rossi who was in animated conversation with his father. But Rossi’s menancing Scowl discouraged George from doing so!

 

Clearly Rossi was Peeved over being the Meat in an A.J. Foyt Racing Qualie’ sandwich! With Kyle Kirkwood the Highest placed rookie in 12^th, and Dalton Kellett having his best road course result P14.

 

Also, the CGR Boyz’ recovered, with Dixon leading the way in seventh, followed by Marcuss Ericsson eighth and Alex Palou tenth.

 

But it was the Fast Six Shootout that got All the Press! With Team Penske’s youngest member Scotty mcLaughlin capturing his Debutante IndyCar Pole ahead of teammate Power, giving Penske a Front row lockout.

 

Third Quick was Andretti Autosport’s Colton Herta with a great “rebound” by Ed Carpenter Racing’s Rinus VeeKay P4. And Row 3 see’s an All French lineup with Romain Grosjean fifth and MSR’s Simon Pagenaud sixth.

 

It’s Finally Race Day!

It’s Funny to Mwah how people are saying this was a great race, which I never got that Vibe from. As Scott McLaughlin simply dominated this race, along with much of the weekend; well at least Saturday and Sunday…

 

Yes, reigning IndyCar Champion Alex Palou who started tenth did prelentlessly pressure McLaughlin in the final 20 laps, but much of that Drauma revolved around two Backmarkers making life difficult for the Kiwi’ ex-Supercars Driver. As I think it was Townsend Bell who noted the insane amount of wins He had Down Under and was used to controlling a race and seeing the Chequered Flag first…

 

As it was none other than Palou’s CGR teammate Jimmie Johnson scraggling’ behind in 23^rd who first made life difficult for McLaughlin by fighting to stay on the lead lap which allowed Palou to close the gap. And then Devlin DeFrancesco slithering and sliding to remain P22 in the race’s last five laps.

 

But I’m Not trying to take anything away from McLaughlin who did a Brilliant Job this weekend en route to both his IndyCar career first Pole and W’, as He drove a flawless race and I think also led the most laps? Although I know that Soctt Dixon, who was one of the many on the alternate three stop strategy also led a Boatload of laps before finishing a rather Ho Hum eighth.

 

And we’ll never know if DJWillyP’ (Power) would have prevailed as winner ahead of Penske teammate McLaughlin? Since Power was the only driver in the Top 10 Me Thinks, to start on the harder, primary Black Sidewall Firestone and was poised to run to lap 36 before his first Pitstop with All of the leaders coming in earlier. But David Malukas who clouted the Wall on lap 25 bringing out the race’s only Caution effectively wrecked this strategy.

 

Yes there was much strategy being played out, making it seem uncertain if McLaughlin could cycle back to the lead. As Don’t let the Box Score results Fool you, since many of the Back Half of the Grid, I’d say from P15-Down were running the unsuccessful three stop strategy vs. the correct winning two stop strategy. As such “Heavy Hitters” like Pagenaud, Newgarden and Rossi suffered from this, along with Rookies Kirkwood and Ilott, and may be DeFrancesco?

 

Interestingly Rossi has a new Strategist this year in the form of one Billybob Brazenheatrz’, aka Brian Barnhart, who I think it was Kevin Lee who interviewed him mid-race?

 

Since what I took away from this race most was that strategy is King, and once a Driver’s Strategy plan was ruined, along with Hoping to correct it with another future Yellow Flag which Never appeared. The Driver was simply unable to salvage decent results with the exception of Dixon and CGR teammate Marcus Ericsson who was penalized for contact with Graham Rahal exiting Pitlane.

 

As it’s probably just Mwah being Blind and Not being able to See any action Onscreen, But I had a Horrible time trying to follow the race since it felt like every six minutes we were in another Gory Commercial Break making me feel like I was on a constantly Spinning Merry-go-Round that Never Stopped! And I had to constantly adjust the TV’s volume and the Announcers seemed to be repeating each other and really Not giving any Uber’ insightful information!

 

Since the most entertaining part of the whole race for Mwah was Kevin Lee and Townsend Bell’s back ‘n forth over whether or not Rinus VeeKay was going to be able to finish the race on two Pitstops without running out of Ethanol! Along with Bell’s Quip ‘bout McLaughlin Ain’t 20 seconds ahead of the pack…

 

May be I was Disappointed since my Numero Uno IndyCar Driver Pato O’Ward and Arrow McLaren SP simply seemed Out to Lunch this whole weekend! Although I know the young Mexican was giving his typical 100% since He Hit the Wall in Qualifying! Then was another of those caught out strategy-wise when changing to a three stop strategy in Hopes of a late Caution Flag that Never Happened. Having to settle for a 12^th place finish.

 

But you can’t fault All of the teams that thought a second Caution would occur, especially since it was a Temporary Street Circuit where the Concrete Canyon’s usually Breed Yellows, and Dalton Kellett almost made this Happen, since I know one of the Booth boyz’ noted how the Flagman had the Yellow Flag in his Hand and was starting to bring it up when Kellett managed to either get going or pull Offtrack… 

Round ‘N Round they go Crash!

Unless we’re in another overly elongated Commercial Break! Or having some Female Racecar Driver soliciting Y’all to text Hash-tag something-ruther to may be win something, or get Yuhs to Bet upon something…

 

The Gurr-Reat Americun’ Race held it’s 64^th running Sunday, February 20^th with it’s vaunted Next Gen racecar.

 

As it’s an Brand New “Clean Sheet” racing car sporting a Carbon Fibre body with 18-inch BBS forged aluminum center locking wheels. Five speed sequential Gearbox, Transaxle transmission with independent Rear suspension. Plus a new Rack and Pinion Steering rack for All of the extra Road Courses RASSCAR’ now frequents; Hmm, going a bit IndyCar style road racing here? Along with it’s previous update to fuel injection, Zoinks! Mimicking today’s modern Street Cars, Aye Karumba!

 

Although trying to correctly put those new wheels on in a Hurry on Pitlane proved Daunting for two teams who effectively lost wheels on the racetrack! With one team’s Crew Chief being Banned for the next four races; presumably for an “Unsafe” Car release?

 

Yeah, I’ll admit I was Desperate for some racing action, since Thar always feels a void this time of year, when we’re All ah-Waitin’ “Breathlessly” for Indy Cars to finally rev up their motors after Thar typically El Stupidio six, or is it seven? Months Gory Off Season, Crap! Before typically starting the season the first weekend of March…

 

Alas, it was somewhat perfectly timed, albeit 5PM Pacific here on the West Coast, for Uhm, almost wrote Soothing ambiance when eating Dinner…

 

Hence, I elected to turn on Thy Telie’ two nights in-a-row, beginning with the Wednesday evening’s Qualifying session, which Ahem IndyCar! If you’re blind like this veritable Open Wheel Racing Fan is; was easily accessible on Good ‘Ol Fashion Terrestrial TV! No Fuss, No Muss, and definitely No Scrolling, Hunting ‘N Pecking for some itsy bitsy teeny weeny colour coded box Onscreen! Nope, just two buttons on the Good ‘Ol TV Remote, i.e.; Power and Channel, Can You Hear Me Now IndyCar!

 

Since I was primarily curious how Jack Vanilla’, aka Jacques Villeneuve, at 50 years Old could make ”The Show” on Speed alone? Which fortunately He did as the Fastest of the six “Open Teams,” i.e.; Non charter Teams, since if I recall correctly, Jacques had a throttle cable issue during the following night’s Dual race.

 

Wasn’t intending on Dropping into those Made for TV Dual Sprint Qualie’ races, Barf! But then again, as long as it Doesn’t give me indigestion, Why Not?

 

So I tuned-in at the end of Dual No. 1 and heard Mike Joy saying something about Bad Brad Keselowski in the Roush Fenway Keselowski (RFK) Racing’s No. 6 is first time that car number’s won a Daytona Dual since Pete Hamilton in 1971, Huh?

 

Initially when I heard Messer Joy reciting this factoid, and hearing the name Pete Hamilton, I thought of that other Bad Arse Roush Racing Driver Pete What’s His Name? Since I could clearly see that Nasty, Bad Arse bright red Whistler Radars Detector sponsored IMSA Mercury Cougar GTO Roush Racing car he drove! )Which I’ve still got a “Hero” Card of tucked away somewheres’) Not to mention an equally Nasty lookin’ black Me Thinks? Strohs Beer IMSA Mercury Cougar GTO racecar…

 

As I sat Thar Scratchin ‘N Scratchin Thy Noggin’, before the words Pete Halsmer finally flashed upon Thy radar screen!

 

As Halsmer was a Bad Arse racing driver who I always forget was a Helicopter pilot in Vietnam before taking up racing professionally! And I tend to believe He’s the first driver in Jack Roush’s illustrious racing stable who truly caught my Attenzione, not to mention those Narly IMSA Mercury Cougar GTO racecars! Which after all were representing that Blue Oval brand…

 

Although I’ve also always had a “soft Spot” for those Killer looking Merkur XR4ti racecars that Scotty Scooter’ Pruett (and Halsmer) so brilliantly drove for the “Cat in The Hat!”

 

It also was the Golden Anniversary of ‘Ol superTex’s Day-toner’ 500 victory for the Wood Brothers. Y’all remember when A.J. Foyt won the 1972 Day-Toner’ 500, becoming the second of three IndyCar drivers to win the storied Daytona 500.

 

 

With the current famed No. 21 Wood Brothers car running with Gold Car numbers in deference to Foyt’s win and retro Throwback “Paint” scheme…

 

As the Wood Brothers have won the Daytona 500 five times, beginning in 1963 with Tiny Lund, giving ford it’s maiden Daytona 500 victory. Then in 1968 with Cale Yarborough. Followed by Foyt’s ’72 win. Then the “Silver Fox,” aka David Pearson won in 1976, the latter three in Mercury’s. Before it’s most recent W’, a Shock 2011 win with Trevor Baine behind the wheel of a “Ford,” the race’s youngest ever winner at just 20 years old!

 

But if you Tuned-in for the race like I did, albeit waiting ‘til High Noon here out West in order to miss the majority of the 36mins Pre-race festivities, then Y’all know that young Harrison Burton, son of former No. 99 Excide Batteries Roush Racing NASCAR Driver Jeff burton, Uhm, that’s a mouthful, Eh?

 

Yuhs know that Harrison went for a Wild ‘n Wooly ride when running up front, wasn’t He leading? When Keselowski decided to give him a Love-tap and Push him too Hard towards the end of Stage-1, sending the young Harrison going Upside Down and briefly landing on his roof/hood before taking Out several racecars behind Him!

 

As this Shove ‘em Outta Duh Way or Swoop down and throw Monster blocks upon your competition was the theme of the race, with a ridiculous 25 of the 40 Cars entered being involved in Accidents, as Racins Rubbin’ Indeedy, Yeehaw!

 

Prior to the final restart Mike Joy noted how Trevor Baine won the Day-Toner’ 500 in only his second Cup Start, and Mario Andretti on his seventh. While Austin Cindric was making only his eighth Cup Start, an Oh, by the way, it’s Roger Penske’s (85^th) Birthday…

 

Are you fucking Kidding me? With the Green-White Checkers or Wreckers Flag having been thrown and cars accelerating, my P.O.S. Spectrum Cable TV magically Shuts itself off, WTF! Yet fortunately this is somewhat routine so I was able to Quickly turn the Cable Box back on again, albeit having missed one lap, Crapola!

 

As young Austin Cindric, who Yeah, his father’s the long serving President of Team Penske’s Tim Cindric. Threw a massive Block on Darrell Wallace Jr. to win the Daytona 500! With a fairly Dejected Wallace claiming his second runner-up finish, some scant 0.036 seconds adrift!

 

And now with the Day-Toner’ 500 in our rear view mirrors Tank Gawd! As I only need to “Watch,” err listen to this single RASSCR’ Wreckfest to Quickly remind me why I Detest RASSCAR so much!

 

I mean, don’t get me wrong, Thar All amazing drivers to be able to control a 3,400lb Taxicab Bomber wide open at 200mph alongside 39 of their competitors But! This mentality of simply taking somebody out in order to get ahead or win the race is truly Nauseating for Mwah! Especially now that IndyCar and Formula 1 are back on Thy Telie’, Yeehaw!

 

Oh Yeah, also winning his very first ever NASCAR race on his 358^th start, was last year’s surprise Day-toner’ 500 winner Michael McDowell, who briefly was a (Champ Car) IndyCar Driver…