As Who let the Dogs Out indeedy! No, Don’t Open that
door, and definitely do Not turn that Confuzer off!
Ah, the Joys of relying on Screen Reading
technology, Oof, Ouch, Biff, Crash! As the El Stupidio, Putrid P.O.S. Zoomtext
Fusion 2022 program’s decided to turn itself Off Friday evening All upon it’s Own,
you Cheeky Bugger! Leaving me temporarily without a working Screen Reader,
Spew! Which I thought was gonna be for the entire weekend, until I figured out
how to manually activate it when using a few Silent “Work Around” Hot Key
commands! But I really shouldn’t need to do Any of this, Sigh!
Having spent a Fantastic 10 Days on Holiday in
Warshington’, including a tranquil eight days on Vashon Island, wherest No
Fenders Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen was Dog sitting four Furr-rocious’
Hoonds’, from largest to smallest; an 80lbs Pitbull mix, a “Two Tone” 18yr old
Terrier mix and two loveable Chihuahua’s, with All four being Boyz’, my mind
was solely focused on Canines and Not Motor Racing for a rare instance!
Although the lone Feline Cat was driving me Bonkers with Her never ending
attempts to sit upon Thy lap, Meow!
As I wasn’t really concerned about missing All
five major Motorsport categories races, i.e.; Sports Cars, FIA World Endurance
Championship and IMSA Weathertech SportsCar Championships from the Super
Sebring weekend. Plus Formula 1, IndyCar and MotoGP.
Although I did ask Mary Ellen to find out for
Mwah whilst spending copious amounts of lap time with both “Hang 10: Hilo and
Bertie’, the two Chihuahua’s of the pack, whilst the lone Feline Cat Evaine got
an “A” for trying to sit upon my lap Nonstop, Meow!
As I thought I was losing my “Marbles” when entering
the Bathroom and was startled by a loud Meow! As Evain was sitting atop the
counter next to the sink with the faucet’s water going Drip Drip Drip, to which
I thought seriously? The Freakin’ Cat knows how to turn on the water, WTF!
Before Mary Ellen told me She’d turned it on for the Cat…
As it must have been Friday night since I know
She told me that Max Verstappen was Quickest, since I’d later learn on Saturday
that Ferrari’s Charles Leclerc had claimed his first Pole position since last
year’s Azerbaijan Grand Prix some Gory Nine
months ago, remember that Y’all? Ahead of Verstappen’s Red Bull being the Crème
filling of an Scuderia Ferrari pastry, with Carlos Sainz Jr. P3.
But was way more impressed and Happy when She
read me the Top-10, including being Stunned by Kevin Bacon’ Magnussen for Haas
in seventh upon his Formula 1 return, one place behind Alfa Romeo’s Valtteri
Bottas lining up alongside his former Mercedes team leader Sir Lewis! Whilst
Bottas Merc’ replacement George Russell was P9.
Also on Saturday afternoon, Mary ellen apparently
read me just the Top-6 Texas Motor Speedway’s (TMS) IndyCar Qualie’ results,
since I recall Her stopping after reading Hulio’s name to Mwah in P6.
As I was most surprised by the Pole winner and
third, being very Happy for Arrow McLaren SP’s Felix Rosenqvist to claim his
maiden Oval Pole, along with an impressive run from 40-Something’s Taku-san’
(Takuma Sato) in the Coyne-Ware Racing Honda bracketing whom the media are now
calling ScottyMac’, aka Scott McLaughlin giving Chevy a Front row lockout.
Fourth was Scotty Mac’s Penske teammate
DJWillyP’ (Will Power) followed by Chip Ganassi Racing’s Scott Dixon and the
aforementioned Helio Castroneves as the lead Meyer shank Racing entry.
With the Top-10 being filled out by Penske’s
Josef Newgarden in P7, with Ed Carpenter Racing’s Rinus VeeKay, Andretti
Autosport’s Colton Herta and AMSP’s Pato O’Ward in tow.
Originally thought we were going for one last
Walkabout’ with the Hoonds’ Sunday morning, since it was supposed to be Dry
between 8-11AM, before I got to listen to almost the entire IndyCar race via
Zed Internets’ instead, but more on that later…
Waiting in line to board the Ferry Monday
afternoon to Tacoma, I finally asked Mary ellen to read me the results of the
Bahrain Grand Prix, for which She said I was wondering when you’d ask me? Which
secretly I was hoping it would be Leclerc winning, so I was Happy when She told
me it was a Ferrari 1-2 with Leclerc leading Sainz across the stripe with a
surprising Hamilton in third, with No mention of the Red Bulls! Although I was
more impressed with Magnussen’s Fairytale season start with a fifth place
finish for Haas! One position ahead of an impressive Valtteri Bottas Alfa Romeo
Debut! Whilst quietly, Bottas Rookie Chinese teammate GuanYu Zhou scored a
solitary point on his F1 Debut upon finishing P10.
As it was the Monegasque’s (Leclerc) and la
Scuderia’s first win in some Two and a Half years since triumphing at Home at
Monza’s 2019 Italian Grand Prix, along with being Ferrari’s first 1-2 Season
Opener finish since the 2010 Bahrain Grand Prix. The latter Stat I heard
Kroftie’, aka Sky Sports David Kroft mentioning either during Jeddah’s Friday
(Free Practice) FP2 session or Saturday’s FP3 session, where Leclerc was
fastest during All three practices. Along with learning that la Scuderia’s last
Front Row lockout was the 2019 Singapore Grand Prix.
Then a day after returning Home and scouring le
Intrawoods’, I learned that the Grandfathered LMP1 Alpine A480 had won the
weather shortened 1000 Miles of Sebring FIA World Endurance Championship (WEC)
Season Opening race. As the race was Red Flagged three times, ultimately for a
passing Thunderstorm Friday night.
As I must say that the WEC seems like a Lame
Duck this season, with currently only four top flight Hypercars, albeit the
Alpine and lone Scuderia Glickenhaus are vastly outclassed by the two Werks’
Toyota GR010’s!
Thus Peugeot’s Brace of radical 9X8 prototypes cannot
arrive soon enough this year, before the real Competizione begins in 2023 when
the Prancing Horse Hypercar arrives, along with Scuderia Ferrari being joined
by the likes of Porsche, Acura, BMW and Cadillac at Circuit de la Sarthe! Since
last I read was that Audi’s LMDH, Err IMSA GTP plans were on Hold…
Also learned that the following day at Sebring,
Thee Cheepster’, nee Chip Ganassi Racing’s #02 Caddy’ with Earl Bamber, Alex
Lynn and Neil Jani, drafted in as a Substitute Driver due to IndyCar’s TMS Conflict
led a 1-2-3 Cadillac DPi V.R sweep at this year’s 12 Hours of Sebring! With
last year’s “Mach 5 Mustang Sally” JDC Miller Motorsports second and the #31
Whelen Engineering entry third.
As unbeknownst to Mwah, as I was Rootin’ for Marcus
Ericsson to pull off an unlikely Oval victory Sunday at Texas Motor Speedway,
that would have given Cheep’ two wins that weekend…
And lastly, Miguel Oliveira aboard His Factory KTM mount won his fourth MotoGP race at the rain sodden Indonesia MotoGP race, ahead of current MotoGP World Champion Fabio Quartararo. Whilst Pramac Racing Ducati Satellite rider Johann Zarco passed Ducati Werks’ rider “Thriller (Jack) Miller” for the Podium’s final step.
