Since I’ve got Zero Clue how this year’s race
stacks up against last year’s Thriller?
Whilst like All travelers do upon return, I’m
needing a Vacation from my Vacation in order to catch Thy Breath. Having missed
this year’s Sebring 12 Hours race, which I consider to be One of the Big Four,
i.e.; Rolex 24, Sebring, 24 Heurs du Mans and Petit Le Mans…
Although I’m sorta glad I missed this year’s race,
since I’m still Peeved with Indy Cars Deliberately Screwing Up a time Honoured
tradition of letting some of it’s top Drivers compete at Sebring!
Rear View Mirror
Seems like a good way to wrap-up my meandering,
elongated Sports Car Menagerie, Remember ‘em Y’all, eh? Chirp chirp Bueller! As
the sounds of le Hamburgular’, nee SeaBass’, aka Sebastien Bourdais Holding
onto a Damaged racecar with it’s rear wing Broken en route to victory seems
such a lifetime ago…
Especially due to
IndyCar’s unsatiable appetite to be on Network TV at Any cost! We the Fans won’t
be treated to our normal allotment of top flight IndyCar Drivers Moonlighting
at Sebring this year. As Smooth Move IndyCar and Penske Entertainment!
As it had been since the end of January, i.e.;
January 30th (2021) to be precise the last time I heard Leigh Diffey
calling a race some 76 Gory Days prior! Hmm, what’s that ‘bout 76 bloody
Trombones…
But NBC Sports El Prompto, remember them Y’all?
Reminded Mwah why I prefer to listen to Sports cars on IMSA.com instead,
because apparently NBCSN was trying to package its allotted Commercials for the
12 Hours race into the opening two hour TV segment, BARF!
As I got so Annoyed over the tiny bite-sized
morsels ‘O racing coverage that I got my Talking Keychain clock out and started
timing ‘em. As we went 4mins, then 3mins of commercials, 6mins and back to three
more gory minutes ‘O more commercials! Another 5 short minutes before Uhm, Yuhs
Guessed It! And so on ‘N so on before switching to NBC’s Gold Bricks Paywall
Track Pass which I refuse to sign up for. Especially since I’m Blind and Don’t
have a Smart TV Buggers! For which if I did, I wouldn’t be able to SEE what to
select Onscreen to Bleepin’ Tune-in, but I digress; Uhm, Rant Over, Sorta…
As I began watching, Err listening to Messer’s Diffey,
Calvin Fish and Junior’ (Dale Earnhardt Jr.) in the booth with Snidely Whiplash
and Oh No Mr. Bill, The Wherewolf! on Pitlane, i.e.; Marty Snyder & Kevin Lee
respectively somewheres just South of the races One hour mark when having a leisurely
breakfast.
And I’m not a Racing Driver, and wait for it! I
Didn’t stay at a Holiday Inn either, Rimshot please…
But surely they All must know you cannot win
the race in it’s first hour, Righto? As the Hot Blooded Pipo Derani in the #31
Whelen Engineering Caddy’ got squeezed into the wall vs. Renger Van der Zande in
the #01 Chip Ganassi Racing Cadd-Oh-lacc’ just 45mins into the 12 Hours race! Wit
the #31 sustaining right-side suspension damage and ultimately going 3-laps
Down. A precursor to how the day’s action would go.
And I was unaware that Corvette was honouring
it’s Silver anniversary with engine lubricants partner Mobil 1, who just so
happens to be the long running title sponsor of the Sebring 12 Hours race,
which is so last year, Y’all!
As Sorry folks, that’s as far as I got on last
year’s Sebring Wrap before I Dunno what interrupted thousth? And instead of
trying to regale Y’all over le Hamburgular’s mastery of bringing his wounded “Mustang
Sally Mach 5” Prototype Home First, I’ll direct you to the link below instead.
An Unsung Hero…
Thinking now over last year’s winning All
French lineup in an Americun’ Cadd-Oh-lacc’ with Boomin’ Detroit V-8 iron,
makes me think of Bob Wolek begrudgingly admiring ‘Ol SuperTex’, nee A.J. foyt’s
driving prowess behind the wheel of their winning Porsche 962 effort at that
other Florida endurance race…
We All know of le Hamburgular’, nee SeaBass’,
aka Sebastien Bourdais driving accomplishments. Being a Rolex 24 Overall
winner, 24 Heurs du Mans Class winner and Four-times Champ Car World Series
Champion with a total of 37 IndyCar wins to his credit.
Whilst Loic Divall’s No Slouch either, having won
the 2013 FIA World Endurance Championship title and 24 Huers du Mans with the
likes of Mr. Le Mans, aka Tom Kristensen and Thee “Scottish Terrier,” nee Alan
McNish.
Nope, for Mwah instead, I recall after last
year’s unexpected JDC Miller Motorsports W’, it was the other driver who
seemingly gets very little credit, whom I’ve taken to calling Tristan Turbo’
Vautier.
As I first became aware of Vautier Wayback’ in
2013, when as the reigning Indy Lights Champion, Sam Schmidt took his Lights
prize money and inserted him into is fledgling IndyCar team. Although just for
one season before Tristan got the Schmidt Heave Ho!
As I’ve still got that pair of Freebie’ Coastal.com
Sun glasses from nearly a Decade ago tucked away somewheres’ in Tomaso Manor. That
were given out at Mother Speedway during Vautier’s maiden Indy 500 outing…
Thus I’d argue that winning the 12 Hours of
Sebring is Tristan’s Biggest win, although I suppose He’d rank his Indy Lights and
Star Mazda titlse alongside it?
And before researching Monsieur Vautier’s
racing record, I thought Sebring was his first win since his Indy Lights Days…
Although now knowing that Tristan won the 2018 Intercontinental
GT Championship, which I think I was actually Rootin’ for Him Wayback then, but
had totally forgotten about. Since I believe He won that title during the 8
Hours of Indianapolis?
So Kudos to Tristan for making a career out of Sports Car racing, even if it’s Not as “Sexy” as being an IndyCar Driver contesting Mother Speedway’s May race. And Nah, No lame Arse Jokes about Tristan’s career being So Bright, Uhm? Especially since I’ve got No Damn idea what Gory Box those Cheap Sun glasses are in, Hya!