Tuesday, May 31, 2022

An electrifying Night Before the 500’

As there was most definitely “A Disturbance in The Force!”

 

So I was trying to carry out another one of my Silly Indy 500 traditions, when I listen to the Roast of Bobby Unser the Night before that ‘Ol R’, aka Ye Curmudgeon ‘O IndyCar Robin Miller MC’ed Wayback’ in 2018. Which even though I’ve”Watched,” Err listened to it now several times over the years,  still makes me laugh and brings a Smile to my Face!

 

As the video weighs in at 47mins and I was right at the part where El Capitano’, nee Roger Penske was telling us how Uncle bobby had had His Mechanics Drain the normal Mobil 1/Pennzoil Gearbox lubricants in order to put in some Amsoil, since Bobby had a connection with the latter, and was probably just trying to get a Buck from Amsoil when the video abruptly Stopped at 8:05PM Pacific and the screen when Dark!

 

To which I quickly discerned when None of the House lights would come on, we’d lost our Power! As we’d been having major Gusting Winds All Day along the Oregon Coast, along with what my telephone news reported as a Soaking Rain! And I just muttered to myself how long will the power be out, and will this Screw Me Outta listening to the Indy 500 Radio Broadcast Sunday?

 

Strange Days Indeed!

As All I can say is It’s A Strange World After all! As it’s really Funny what Pisses Us Off as Humans! Since I absolutely know that Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen would immediately tell me I’m Having A First World Problem!

 

Nonetheless, I was absolutely Bummed Out when spending the entire Hour plus Pre-race Sunday morning trying to No Avail to get my El Stupidio Spectrum Internet service to Gory connect! For which it simply wouldn’t do, with the Indycar.com Radio Webpage saying it had simply timed out and that I needed to Check My Internet Connection, which surely was a biproduct of the previous evening’s Power Outage, el Correctomundo!

 

So Dejectedly, I listened to NBC’s TV Broadcast instead for this first time during the entire Month ‘O May, for which All I can say is that it just seemed really Milktoast!

 

Now Don’t get me wrong, as I totally prefer having NBC doing IndyCar vs. those Sleep Inducing Augusta 18th Hole Golf match Snoozers ABC used to produce, But!

 

May be it was just Mwah, when constantly Hitting the Mute Button for another round of Nothing But Commercials! But I found it Uber Annoying that All Leigh Diffey said was that Rinus VeeKay was Out before the commercials began! And then they Never showed a replay or told us what Happened? As it wasn’t until rinus was released from the Infield Care Center talking to Kevin Lee multiple laps later, noting the Dejection in VeeKay’s voice that we learned that He’d simply lost it in Turn 2, which would be the Achilles Heel of Mother Speedway for several drivers during the course of the race.

 

And then even more annoying was Hearing Diffey telling us You Won’t Miss Anything as we go Side-by-Side Nonstop for our next Commercial Break! Which if you’re Freakin’ blind like Mwah, than Y’all Cannot See Anything in some teensy weansy Cardboard cutout Onscreen Box!

 

And I simply do Not want to Hear a single solitary word about Rutledge “Bake Me A Cake” Woods driving a Swamp Boat somewhere in the Infield! Or Rutledge showing us the view of Roger Penske and His Family watching the race from the top of the Pagoda! Like do I really need to be reminded how Privledged roger is whilst I can’t even have working Internets’, Spew!

 

And then I suppose Strike 3 would be another Yellow Flag Caution thrown on Lap 157? When Diffey proclaimed it’s gonna get wild with 43 laps remaining while Never telling us who caused the latest Caution! Instead with Kevin Lee Me Thinks? Talking to colton Herta who Race Control “Parked” for running too Slow before Yuhs Guessed It. Another Deluge ‘O Freakin’ Commercials, Barf!

 

As it wasn’t until with 35-33 laps remaining that somebody talked to Scott McLaughlin after having been released from the Infield Care Center that I was able to figure out who’d Crashed…

 

And so much for being the “Iceman,” Eh? As Scott Dixon will be cursing  Himself for another year for letting another Indy 500 Slip thru his fingers, especially after leading 95 laps enroute to surpassing Al Unser Sr. for All-time Career laps led at Mother Speedway.

 

Although I had to wonder if Dixon’s Speeding Penalty was possibly related to the issue of teams Pulling Back the Brake Pads to reduce rolling friction we’ve Heard about. Or did Soctt simply miss judge the Pit entrance by that elusive Milli-fraction?

 

Whilst is it just Mwah? But who was the one of Cheep’s five Drivers Nobody talked much about? Since it was All about Dixon and Alex Palou on row 1. TK’ follow Your Schnoz! Kanaan and whenever Jimmie Johnson sneezed, Thar was a Slow Motion Frame by Frame Breakdown… As I had to momentarily “Note to Self!” I was Rootin’ against my Numero Uno IndyCar Driver Pato O’Ward when sitting with two sets ‘O fingers Crossed and Cheering for Marcus Ericsson! But I simply never felt that Pato had the Car to win…

 

As suppose I’m Name Dropping here now? But I still remember that Ericsson was the Only active Formula 1 Driver willing to let me take my picture with Him Wayback’ at Willie Buxom’s Buxton Bigtime Bash in Austin, Texas during the 2014 Formula 1 weekend at COTA when being a Sauber F1 Pilote.

 

Whilst the only other driver who let me take a picture with Him was Bad Arse Yank’ GP2 racer and Marussia F1 Reserve Driver, somebody named Alexander Rossi, as perhaps Y’all have Heard of Him? As it’s pretty Funny how they both went on to become Indianapolis 500 winners!

 

And then NBC reminded me again why I Hate their TV Broadcasts, since the Post race was immediately shoved over to Peacock, which I Don’t Have! And do Not plan on getting Anytime soon! Not to mention Bellowing Shut Up everytime Queen Danica started talking! While ‘lil E’, aka Dale Earnhardt Jr. just seems completely Out of place during an Open Wheel Racing Broadcast…

 

Then Who’d Ah-thunk It? As Silly Me, how would I know that I simply needed to call Spectrum and have them Automatically Reboot my Modem in order to restore my Internet Connection, Eh? Which I did following the race. As Strange Days Indeedy!

 

Whilst I just remembered that following this year’s Texas race, Mary ellen asked me who I’d been Rootin’ for at the end of the race, to which I replied Marcus Ericsson, who finished third…

 

Congratulations Marcus Ericsson!