As a Good Time was Had by All in the Rose City!
As typical, your Humble No Fenders Scribe Tomaso
cannot Scribble a Short story. Hence I’ve broken up my Portland Race Day’s review
into Two part Harmony. Whale’, actually three, Oh Never Mind!
Picking up where I last left off, sitting roughly
Halfway down the Front Straight with Claudio’, I enjoyed the Soothing sounds of
the Pitlane action along with the Siren Song of 25 Bad Fast, Angry Mutha Fokker’
Killer Hornet Indy Cars Vroom Vrooming by relentlessly! With Claudio asking me
who’s in the Blue Car? Saying you’ve gotta tell me more than that Dude, there’s
multiple Blue cars!
Then telling Him the leader ScottyMac’, aka
Scott McLaughlin was in the Blue ‘N Black Freightliner No. 3, which soon became
a running joke about the Black ‘N Blue car, Hya! Who’s in the #2? Josef
Newgarden. Oh, it’s a Black and White car. Which Car is Power in? He’s driving
the Verizon No. 12 which should be red fading to black, McLaughlin drives the
#2? Who drives the No. 4? Who drives the Blue Jones Soda Car? And so it went!
And it’s Funny how I thought I was wearing my
Bad Arse Justin Wilson T-Shirt but Nobody ever said a word the whole day about
what I was wearing, and it’s pretty Funny when you’re Blind and trying to pick
out a racing T-Shirt you Haven’t worn in a Zillion years, but I digress…
After awhile, I asked where the others were? So
Claudio went off to look for them, before my “Driver” colin came and sat next
to me in the Grandstand in the Baking Heat! Asking Him if He could tell what
lap it was? To which Colin soon replied that it was lap 41. (Of 110)
Yet as Good ‘Ol Awnty’ Harriet would say: I was
as Happy as a Clam at High Tide! Especially since not only could I indulge in
the Audio Soundtrack of individual Pitstop sequences. But I marveled in telling
Colin that I could actually see glimpses of Black Ghost-like shadows of each
racing car Flickering past me! For which I still haven’t figured out if I was
actually seeing the cars, or more likely, it was their Millisecond Blocking of
the Brilliant Sunshine that allowed me to “See” each cars “Trailing” Wakes akin
to Boats passing by on water…
Also telling Colin How the Indy Cars suddenly
had an entirely different (Audio) tone eintering the Festival Curves, to which
He told me that the wind Had shifted from lef to right. Whilst I also Heard the
occasional missing of a Gear shift which seemed Odd, since they’ve got Paddle
Shifters, but I could Hear the Auditory Clap of a Sloppy Upshift! Which I Don’t
know if it was from the same car or what?
Later Colin went and Corralled the rest of our party,
Claudio, Nelie and Kevin and Claudio asked if I wanted to move up Higher in the
Grandstand? So Colin Helped the Blind Guy step over several more rows of Bleacher
seats Wham! As I Smacked my Shin against a Bleacher! Which I could still feel
two Days later…
As colin just gave me His Hand and said I Didn’t
need to bother with my White Cane until we were about midway up. Then I asked
Clyde how far is the #2 Behind the No. 12? Which car is that? The Black &
White Hitachi car…
As Not sure why, since I typically Don’t Root
for the Penske boyz! But I just really want Will Power to win this year’s IndyCar
Championship!
Whilst I’ve also
totally taken A Shine to ScottyMac’ this season. As He just seems like a total
Breath of Fresh Air for Team Penske! And His Quip to Michael Young during the
Nashville Rain Delay about Rainbows being Upside Down in New Zealand was
Priceless Mate!
Then Claudio asked if I wanted to go up to the
top of the Grandstand? Telling me there’s a nice breeze there and I can sit
with my back against the fencing. So once again the Blind Guy was climbing over
more Bleacher seats…
But I knew immediately something Had Happened
in Turn-1 by the way IndyCar Radio’s Michael “Screech” young was exuberantly
Yelling! As later I’d learn that Rinus VeeKay had Hip-checked ‘Ol JJ’, nee
Jimmie Johnson into the Armco Barrier! Bringing out the Days only Full course
Caution, which was on lap 84.
As Kevin told me there was a Yellow Flag Ontrack.
It was weird Hearing the sizeable Delay in the track going Full Yellow and the
Stragglers slowing down! As Kevin Had said yellow and then several cars went Screaming
By at Full chat! Which made me think of How Race Control typically Doesn’t
immediately Close the Pits…
And it was interesting How much the Noise level
changed after the Pace Car finally picked up the leader. For which the field
completely cycled past the Pits for another lap, surmising the Pits weren’t
Open?
When the Green Flag finally flew, I could audibly
Hear Messer Young really Hotting Up over whatever Argie Bargie’ was occurring in the Festival Curves, before the
race settled back down! Then Claudio told me there were 11-laps remaining, and
it just felt like a procession to the end…
When the Chequered Flag Flew, I asked Claudio
where did the No. 2 finish? To which He erroneously told me the #2 Had finished
Ahead of the No. 12, to which I Yelled Outloud FUCK! Which afterwards seemed
like a really Funny reaction Trackside!
Then Colin correctly informed Mwah that the
finishing order was the No. 3, 12 and #9, Huh? Where did Scott Dixon come from?
Before Claudio told me that my “boy” Pato O’Ward had finished fourth. And that
Newgarden was P8, which made me Happy!
Then we leisurely made our way down to the
totally opposite end of our Grandstand, to it’s Only Aisle! As I know
Grandstands cost money, but I find it totally Unacceptable having Only One
Aisle on One End of the entire Grandstands! As that’s definitely Not very ADA
Friendly, and just seems like it’s inviting trouble with Falling Spectators!
Especially since Thars No Alcohol being consumed at races, El Correctomundo?
And
Speakin’ of Drinking. Best line of the Day I Heard when we were waiting to
catch the Shuttle Bus afterwards, was some man saying He’d spent too much time
in the Sun! To which one of His Buddies Ribbed Him about Having too much to
Drink? No, I’m an Ex-Sailor, I totally know How to Drink!
As
we elected to wait for a second Bus, as Nelie wanted me to be able to sit down,
since the Busses were All Standing Room only, which the wait was probably only
10-15mins Max.
As
our Bus Driver maintined a Good sense ‘O Humour after a Grouchy Fan Yelled at
Him repeatedly to S-T-O-P! After we’d only gone some 150 yards that He Didn’t
want to walk to His car, WTF!
As
the Driver casually said after starting up again, Next stop Portland International
Airport!
Exiting
at the main Gate, the five of us walked together until it was time to go our separate
ways back to our vehicles, readily agreeing to come back again next year!
As
colin and I set off for the three Hour “Cruise” back Home Again to Bumfiddle
Florence! Whilst being passed by one Ferrari and later a completely modified
late 2019-ish Ford Mustang GT.
With
colin saying it had every Aftermarket Body Panel, Euro tail lights, rear window
louvers, etc. you could possibly think of!
And
when it Burr-rapped it’s loud Pedal to Squirt Ahead of Colin’s “Plain Jane”
Mustang when exiting the Freeway. It was overly loud with it’s Aftermarket Exhaust
system, to which I gleefully told Colin that it just sounded super Beefy!
As it wouldn’t be until 9PM-ish Sunday evening that I’d sit down to have “Zoey the Princess Warrior,” my current Zoomtext Fusion 2022 Screen reader read me Raymond Hando’s For the Love of Indy’s Portland First Impressions Blog post. In order to find out what had actually Happened to each driver during the race and overall “Flow” of the event. Since I’d been completely “blind” during the entire actual race due to the PA System’s volume being so muted…