As where’s ‘Ol tina Turner to sing us the intro to
Thunderdome ‘N Beyond?
In the far reaches of the Australian Outback,
in a tiny enclave known as Truwombia, a young lad wearing just a loincloth
would spend hours playing with His boomerang while His father was on the road.
The boy simply known as Johnny soon became proficient with His Boomerang,
finding Himself needing to trek ‘n trek farther distances to retrieve it, along
with the various wildlife He’d killed with it…
Johnny’s Old Man Alan of average Aussie’ build
with a shock of red hair, had spent His lifetime driving ESSOLUX Oil tankers
back ‘n forth from Truwombia to the high desert plains of Kookaburra and beyond
with the ever shrinking legions of Australia’s notorious Road trains.
As the precious oil was crushed out of the
porous rocks found in the Outback nearby Truwombia, providing work for it’s
dwindling population, needing to be exported, meaning somebody needed to drive
the Oil tankers to market…
Alan was a keen fan of the company’s sponsorship
of Rally Cars and was super proud of the ESSOLUX Motorcycle team that had won the
prestigious Truwombia-Canberra Marathon Rally Raid some 14 times.
One day at age eight, Alan came home with a
special present for Johnny, a well used Zand hard ridden Spencer Flying
Squirrel SX250 motorcycle for Johnny to cut His teeth upon the rugged Outback.
With Johnny dreaming of one day becoming a professional racer like Peter Brock,
Dick Johnson, Marcos Ambrose or Mark Winterbottom Even if His Pops’ wanted to
get Him a job driving Oil rigs…
Although Johnny enjoyed the thrill of racing
His Flying Squirrel motorcycle at Daredevil speed thru the Outback, He’d also
taken many a tumble upon it. While a chance meeting with one of His Heros
Marcos Ambrose led Him to a trryout for the local Doohingle Australian Formula
Ford team. With Johnny being selected as one of Thar drivers for the
forthcoming season.
Although lacking experience in racing cars,
along with many reliability issues. Johnny soon earned the nickname of Oil Can
Johnny in part to His fathre’s occupation along with causing quite a few engines
to go Kuhblamoe!
From there with help from His father’s ESSOLUX
connections, Oil Can Johnny gravitated to the wide open spaces of Europe and it’s
ultra competitive European Formula 3500 series. Since He’d been unable to find
anybody willing to take Him on to contest the New South Wales Supercars
Championship, which Ambrose had suggested to Him previously…
After scoring a single win in the Euro F3500
series on the man-made Island of Socitui in the South Pacific Seas. Fellow
Japanese racer Noda Makasuki urged Oil Can Johnny to join Him in His Home
series Autopolis Formula Supreme.
Competing in the single make Formula Supreme
series, Oil Can Johnny took His Toyota powered Dragonlady MZ93 to an amazing
third place in the championship with multiple wins.
In the United States, the wily Kenny Simpson,
who had a knack for spotting obscure talent, signed the promising Oil Can
Johnny to drive one of His Champ Cars for the following season for His Minnowesqe
Simpson Racing Team.
Franco “Chester” Betuzi was a stocky man of
medium height with jet black hair and charcoal brown eyes that bore Holes into
you. As Franco had gotten the nickname Chester whilst growing up in the Windy
City and having a penchant for noisily chewing pistachios.
Chester who usually sported a five O’clock
shadow and preferred wearing a Brooks Brothers denim sports jacket over one of
His racing team’s Polo’s. As the Betuzi Motorsports team logo was adorned in a shield
remeniscant of the great Italian Bambino’s lore. With the initials BM in black
letters against a red shield with gold accents.
Betuzi Motorsports was a perennial championship
winning Champ Car team, most notably with the likes of another driver from Down
Under, albeit from New Zealand by the name of Taffy Tonkaberg. Who usually made
the others pay by standing on the winners step after making fun of His first name!
Preston Henly Winchester III had been an
aspiring racing car driver who instead focused upon making His Advertising
Agency No. 1 in it’s field, before the floundering Canamax Formula Libre team
sought His considerable skills to right it’s sinking ship. As Canamax had a
long, storied success in the Formula Libre Championship dating back to the 1950’s…
Preston who played the part of an Aristocrat
was always adorned in the latest, most expensive Armani four piece business
suit. As the lean, six-foot plus American with tasseled blonde hair and
piercing blue eyes was always on the lookout for the latest, up ‘n coming
talent to plug into His new racing team’s vast array of many different series.
Chester, who also fancied Himself as a shrewd
talent spotter, spotted something in the young Oil Can Johnny’ and hired the
lad to a bare bones, no frills bargain basement contract to drive for BM the
following season, having become displeased with previous Simpson Racing prodigy
Edwardo Jolliet.
Preston, who longtime Champ Car paddock members
took to calling “Winnie” behind Preston’s back! Soon settled upon a scheme to
poach as many staff of the rival Betuzi Motorsports concern, since after all BM
was one of the top two teams on the Championship Car Trail!
Thus Preston fast talked the Star Struck Oil Can
Johnny into signing a very lucrative contract to come race for rival Canamax,
even though Johnny had a year left on His BM contract. Regardless of the fact
that Chester had just exercised His option to retain Johnny, who’d just won
that year’s Champ Car Championship for Betuzi Motorsports, it’s 27th title!
Next Chester’s and Preston’s lawyers worked out
a solution that would see Oil Can Johnny serve out the remaining year of His BM
contract; as Be Good Johnny! And then you’ll be free to renegotiate. With
Winnie’ throwing in enticement for Johnny to ultimately join Canamax a year
later by making Him a test and reserve driver of their famous Formula Libre
team, which Chester acquiesced to.
The next year, Johnny had a magical season
driving for Betuzi, blitzing the Champ Car field with nine victories and romping
His way to His second championship title in three years…
Meanwhile, Preston, who never quit making Deals.
Signed the German Wunderkind Mathias Lowenbach to become it’s newest Formula
Libre HotShcue’, leaving Oil Can Johnny without a path to a coveted seat upon
the Formula Libre Grid with Canamax anytime in the near future…
Thus Johnny, with the help of His manager Makasuki-san,
who He’d quietly reunited with the former racing driver. Called Chester and set
up a clandestine meeting to discuss staying at Betuzi Motorsports after all,
even if He had already signed a new contract to drive for Canamax’s rival Champ
Car team the following season. Provided Betuzi would give Him a much more
lucrative contract…
As Chester relished the chance to give that
young upstart Whippersnapper Winnie’ a taste of His own medicine! And after
letting His experienced Swede’ go to another rival team. Along with the help of
money from Caribbean Businessman Jolly Mahley, including stepping up to run His
son Kiffree by expanding Betuzi Motorsports to an unheard of six car entry.
Giving Chester twice as many entries on the grid vs. Preston’s Champ Car outfit,
even with All 43 of it’s drivers signed to various contracts.
Plus with increased financial support from Oil Can Johnny’s current American Champ Car backers Chucky Cheese. Chester quickly retained the impressive young driver’s talents for the foreseeable future at poor ‘Ol Winnie’s expense! Even if Preston threatened more legal action, He still didn’t have a multi-times Champ Car driver in His current Canamax stable…
