Thursday, August 29, 2024

The Tomaso Files: Can You Ever truly go back Home?

No Fenders Head Scribe Tomaso Ah-Waitin’ patiently to cross the river Styx during one of His infrequent trips back Home. (The Tomaso Collection)

 

And even so, it’ll never be like it was before. Or like it’s “Right Here, Right Now”

 

The morning after Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary ellen and Her faithful Hoond Hang 10’ Hilo were departing Bumfiddle’ Florence this past July, which seems an eternity now! I just happened to hear Heart’s Barracuda song being played on the Classic Oldies radio station I infrequently listen to.

 

As this immediately made me feel Homesick, as Heart was a Seattle icon for several decades, with Barracuda being one of their early signature songs of the mid-1970’s. Preceded by the initial Hit songs Magic Man and Crazy on You from their debut album Dreamboat Annie of 1975.

 

As these three songs, albeit Barracuda was released on Heart’s second album Little queen in 1977. Brought the Band the Attenzione of mainstream media, and their early initial commercial success during the late 1970’s

Then being  a teenager growing up in Seattle and marching in the All-City Marching Band that included participating in the annual Seafair Torchlight parade. I’ve clung to the memory that Seattle’s Memorial Stadium was sold out for three nights during I believe what would have been August. Since I now know that the Seafair Trophy Unlimites race was held on August 7, 1977…

 

As it’s Uber Funny how our minds play tricks upon us the older we become! And the longer we hold on to our contorted, cherished memories…

 

Since thanks to Al Gore’s wonderous invention, the All knowing Intrawoods’, nee internet. We’re able to go Wayback in History sometimes, sorta. And see just how convoluted our lifetime memories are!

 

Case-in-point is that instead, Heart was part of four bands playing for just one night at Memorial Stadium during the summer of 1977. When upon August 28, 1977 Heart, Foreigner, Tower of Power and Stephen Bishop all performed for that year’s Summer Sunday concert at the Seattle Center. Three weeks after that year’s Seafair Trophy race.

 

Two more interesting tidbits have surfaced during my brief research over the band’s history, for which I’ve always known features the Wilson sisters, Ann (lead vocals) and Nancy (vocals & rhythm guitar) of Bellevue’s Sammamish High School fame. Along with original lead guitarist and band founder Roger Fisher.

 

As I was Uber’ surprised that Heart’s Wickedpedia’ page denotes them originating in Vancouver, BC, Say What? Since although I suppose you could argue this is technically true. Since their debut album Dreamboat Annie was recorded in Vancouver, BC at what later became Mushroom Studios.

 

Nonetheless, Fisher and other original band members from 1967 until the Wilson sisters joined them in the early 1970’s originated from Bothell, Washington! As the band migrated to Vancouver following manager Mike Fisher’s desires to evade the Vietnam War Draft.

 

The other funny part was the “Back story” upon Heart’s Hit song Barracuda, for which over the years I’d heard rumblings eluding to, but had never been curious…

 

Reportedly the song stems from a controversial Advert that a Canadian Mushroom Records executive released without the band’s consent. Being the same debut album image of the two bare shouldered Wilson sisters with the provocative caption “It was only the First time”.

 

As Ann Wilson later claimed that Barracuda, that peaked at number eleven on the Top 100 Billboard charts stemmed from Her being so infuriated over a reporters questioning Her about Her lesbian relationship with Her sister Nancy, and wrote the song immediately afterwards!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeMvMNpvB5M

 

But this story is supposed to be about going back home instead of the prolific Seattle rock band Heart…

 

While I realize it’s not a city or state’s responsibility ultimately to allow its inhabitants born there to live their entire life in said city. And it has been apparent to Mwah ever since the Viaduct was demolished and “Bertha” dug it’s replacement tunnel when not stuck underground for several months! That Seattle wishes to become the next San Francisco…

 

But its weord how six years later after leaving due to economic concerns, i.e.; yearly rent increases averaging 12-13 Freakin’ percent! I still find myself defending the city which some have called it a Shithole city! And others have recounted it’s reputation for being overrun by the Homeless, blah Blah Blah…

 

And whilst my Heart, Pun intended! Sill longs to be living back in Seattle or it’s suburbs. If I know of a young woman whom came from the South. Lived in Kent and had to return home since She couldn’t afford to live there with a good paying job. Then what hope do I realistically have as a 60yr old Blind person?

 

Quoting Captain McObvious’, I find myself routinely pondering how totally different my life would have been if I’d never lost my eyesight due to being born with Retinitis Pigmentosa, commonly known as RP in the Blind community following my Open Heart surgery. As lately I’ve been trying to figure out just how long have I truly been blind?

 

Yet as we All know, there are countless millions in far worse circumstances. Since regardless of your position upon the Genocide currently being inflicted in Gaza by the fine folks of the Boeing Company, who were ironically being touted for their sponsorship of all 75 years of Seafair during Sunday’s Unlimiteds race.

 

As it seems a tad bit surreal that The yearly Boeing Air show’s Headliner are the Navy’s Blue Angels flying Boeing F/A-18 E/F Super Hornets over some of “The Bluest Skies you’ve Ever Seen in Seattle”. While some 40,000+ civilians, mostly defenseless women and children have been killed!

 

Listening to the fantastic Deamon Copperhead book by Barbara Kingsolver about an orphaned boy in the South whose mother dies from overdosing on Oxycotton. I realize life is a struggle for almost everybody. And everyone has their personal battles  and “Deamons” to deal with, whether or not self inflicted.

 

Yet like Los Angeles is currently experiencing, having the highest percentage of 20yr olds leaving due to being unable to afford living there. And personally feeling like I’ve been priced out forever of my home city. And Now wondering about my current locale which has also been “Discovered”, Yikes!

 

As I wonder if Seattle’s in for a similar plight of Los Angeles and California’s  currently find themselves in? And will runs into the same issue of having no youth generation to service and support its elder population in the future?

 

Not to mention who will take care of those who cannot afford their monthly rent due to out of control inflation vs. the Disabled, Homeless and Senior population. And just where are the Homeless and displaced Migrants supposed to go? 

Monday, August 26, 2024

RETRO: Portland celebrates 40th Anniversary of it’s Debutante IndyCar race

As what’s that ‘Ol Grateful Dead song ‘bout How it’s been A long Strange trip indeed…

 

Yesterday’s Bitnile.com Grand Prix of Portland, try saying that fast five times! At Portland International Raceway (PIR) marked forty years since ‘lil Al, aka Al Unser Jr. won His maiden IndyCar race in the Rose City in that year’s inaugural Stroh’s/G.I. Joes 200. Winning Aboard His Galles Racing’s March 84C Cosworth.

 

As the venue has had a litany of title sponsors over the past four decades, most notably for Mwah being the Budweiser/G.I. Joes 200 during my yearly treks to Portland over Fathers Day weekend…

 

And Instead of trying to rehash the past which I’ve done previously. As can it already be 15 years since I scribbled about Portland’s Centennial here upon No Fenders, Yikes! And thus I won’t try remounting any “Flintstone” tyres here, Hya!

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2009/06/portlands-centennial.html

 

Having attended 19 of those initial 24 events, beginning in 1987 thru 2007. Prior to IndyCar returning after a Gory ten year’s absence in 2018! Obviously I saw a Heckabunch ‘O racing Thar, including the likes of El Zorro’, aka Alex Zanardi, Mark Blundell, Max Papis and A.J. Allmendinger All win their debutante IndyCar races there! Where Also Al Unser Jr. did so with that ’84 Portland victory.

 

Having attended my latest IndyCar event in 2022, when ScottyMac’, aka Scott McLaughlin was untouchable – leading 104 of 110 laps! When it was blistering Hot and I understand the reason why. But still I was a little bit sad knowing that my yearly West End Grandstand had been long removed and turned into RV Camping instead…

 

Thus I’ll try reminiscing about Portland’s 40 years in a different tack. As it seems tedious to recall every winner to date. Not to mention what traditionally was the Kershaw knives Pole winner’s award…

 

Looking back to the final Chump Carz’, Err Champ Car World Series (CCWS) event held on June 10, 2007. Thars’ a total of three drivers from that race still on today’s IndyCar grid.

 

The most “famous” of this trio would be none other than William Steven Power. Whom presumably hasn’t given ScottyMac’ any more love taps since Toronto, Eh?

 

DJ Willy P’ (Age 43)  was in His sophomore Champ Car season with Derrick Walker’s Team Australia that year, driving the team’s No. 5 Aussie Vineyards entry, finishing fourth. Paired with another future Indianapolis 500 winner known here upon No Fenders as Symone’ or Pagentry’, aka Simon Pagenaud.

 

While Power finished a lowly P19 in His Rose City debut the year before, also for Team Australia, classified as being 13 laps down.

 

Although only one of Power’s 43 IndyCar wins has come at Portland in 2019, where He’s scored more than one of His All-time career leading 70 Poles.

 

Graham Rahal, now age 35, was an 18 year old teenager when making His first start at Portland in 2007. Driving for Newman Haas Racing, the rookie IndyCar driver finished ninth on debut at Portland.

 

Katherine Legge who celebrated Her 44th birthday in the Mid-Ohio paddock on Friday’s first practice, complete with birthday cake! Was making Her second start for Dale Coyne Racing. Finishing dead last – P17 due to a mechanical failure.

 

Whilst Thy Leggy Juan’ finished P13 at Portland for PKV Racing during Her rookie season in Champ Car in 2006.

 

One other current IndyCar driver participated in two Portland CART events prior to the ’07 Finale, can Y’all guess who that was?

 

Scott Dixon who turned 44 this July, made His IndyCar debut in 2001 for the local PacWest Racing team. Finishing fourth as a rookie in Portland. Then the following year driving for Target Chip Ganassi Racing (CGR) finished seventh, before CGR migrated to the Dark Side, ergo Indy Racing League for ’03.

 

Also from my initial perusal of the 2007 Mazda Cham Car Grand Prix of Portland, where a total of 17 drivers lined up in spec Panoz DP01 2.65-litre turbocharged Cosworth XFE’s for Champ Car’s first and only standing start. I reckon there’s a further four Alumni still racing today…

 

Obviously the most prominent of these would be none other than le Hamburgular’, SealmeisterB’ or SeaBass, ergo Four-times Champ Car Champion Sebastien Bourdais, having won a total of 37 IndyCar victories. Now age 45, Bourdais competes fulltime for Chip Ganassi Racing’s IMSA GTP factory Cadillac operation.

 

As Bourdais is responsible for winning half of Newman Haas Racing’s eight Championship titles. And ironically His win at the ’07 Portland Champ Car race was Newman Haas Racing’s 100th victory.

 

Neel Jani, age 40 driving for PKV Racing and finishing 12th at Portland has moved onto a long, successful European Sports Car career. Having won the 2016 24 Huers du Mans for Porsche. And currently competes in the FIA World Endurance Championship for Porsche Penske Motorsport as a Werks’ driver.

 

Jan Heylen, better known here upon No Fenders as Jan Van Hagar Heylen, (Age 44) contested the 2006 Grand Prix of Portland for Dale Coyne Racing and finished P15. The following year He drove for Conquest Racing and finished 15th again. And now races for Wright Motorsports in IMSA’s GT Daytona (GTD) category. Having raced for the team for the past ten years. Having won the 2020 12 Hours of Sebring GTD Class and the prestigious Porsche Cup.

 

Ryan “Razzle Dazzle” Dalziel whose now 42yrs young, drove for the short lived Pacific Coast Motorsports team and finished P14. Dalziel has gone onto a long successful Sports Car career and currently competes for ERA Motorsports in IMSA’s LMP2 category.

 

Meanwhile, reigning IndyCar Champion Alex Palou has a good chance at tying Mikey a’ and ‘lil Al for most wins at Portland at three apiece. As Michael Andretti claimed a Hat trick of W’s between 1990-92 for Newman Haas Racing. Who have the most wins for teams currently.

 

Al Unser Jr. won in 1984 and then 1994-95, the latter two for Team Penske, including Penske sweeping the podium in ’94 with EMMO’, aka Emerson Fittipaldi and Paul Tracy joining Unser on the podium. When Marlboro Team Penske won a staggering 12 of 16 races that season! Unser taking eight enroute to the Championship, Tracy three and Fittipaldi one.

 

Naturally Team Penske, most notably in it’s Bad Habits’ (Marlboro) red & white colours, Chip Ganassi Racing, Dale Coyne Racing, A.J. foyt enterprises, whom I also saw ‘Ol superTex’ running at the tail end in His Copenhagen racecar. Not to mention Rocket rick Mears in the original Yellow Submarine. And lastly Bobby Rahal, whose team then was simply known as Team Rahal were All present at Portland over the years prior to Portland being unceremoniously dropped from IndyCar’s calendar for ten years…

 

Whilst who knows how many teams came ‘n went during Portland’s heydays between 1984-2007? Like Bobby Rahal winning for Truesports, Kraco Racing, Doug shierson Racing, etc.

 

While surprisingly, Portland is one of the very few tracks that Scott Dixon has never previously     won at.

Friday, August 23, 2024

Can Jace Denmark win an unlikely Championship in Portland?

And how many people pay any Attenzione to this Feeder series?

 

This weekend’s festivities at Portland International Raceway include the crowning of All three of Anderson Promotions Junior Open Wheel Racing feeder series, i.e.; USF Juniors, U.S. F2000 National championship and USF Pro 2000; the three rungs below Indy NXT.

 

As the USF Juniors caps off it’s sophomore season in the Rose City with a triple header. With Max Taylor leading with 210 points. Followed by Liam McNielly (201 points) and Sebastian Wheldon, (185 points) with 99 points remaining up for grabs.

 

Ditto for the U.S. F2000 National championship, also finishing with a triple header with 99 points on offer. As Max Garcia leads with 347 points. Followed by Sam Corry )312 points) and Max Taylor. (305 points) Yep’, that’s the same Max whose leading the aforementioned USF Juniors Championship. Pulling “double Duty” for Velocity Racing Development

 

But it’s the USF Pro 2000 Championship I’m most interested in. Where Aussie’ Lochie Hughes leads with 354 points. Followed by Jace Denmark (319 points) and Nikita Johnson. (291 points) With just two rounds remaining and 66 points up for grabs.

 

Although I must confess, I hadn’t been paying any Attenzione to the USF Pro 2000 Championship until Mid-Ohio over the Fourth ‘O July weekend, when only three races remained – with six round  total.

 

As I’d forgotten that Jace finished runner-up at the series lone Oval track this year, held at Indianapolis Raceway Park over Memorial Day weekend. Then being one of His five podiums prior to Mid-Ohio.

 

Was pleasantly surprised Wayback’ then when perusing the Drivers Championship standings. As Jace was currently second, Say What? With 221 points. He trailed Aussie’ Lochie Hughes by 50 points. (271 points)

 

While third place was Nikita Johnson, who was running away with the championship earlier this season. But was Disqualified from one round and has been slipping backwards ever since. As Johnson has 215 points; just six “Markers” behind Jace. Whilst Denmark’s Past Racing teammate Christian Brooks was then fourth in the title fight with 207 points; only 14 adrift of Denmark.

 

And yet Brooks began doing “Double Duty” the remainder of the season. Racing in both the USF Pro 2000 Championship and the Indy NXT championship as Nolan Siegal’s replacement at HMD Motorsports. As Siegal jumped to IndyCar, joining Arrow McLaren for the remainder of the season on a multi-year contract.

 

Nikita Johnson, the youngest of this trio of aspiring title Contendahs’ at age 16 swept both rounds at Mid-Ohio, with Denmark claiming a pair of second place finishes.

 

And after Race-1 Up North Eh! At Toronto, where Jace finished runner-up again. I believe Denmark trimmed points leader Lochie Hughes lead to a fairly close 24-points. As Denmark’s Pabst Racing teammate, rookie Simon Sikes, the reigning U.S. F2000 champion scored His second W’ of the season, while Hughes finished fifth and Johnson P17.

 

Yet Hughes turned the table in Race-2 winning from Pole, with Jace third and Nikita 12th; seeing Denmark slide to 35 markers behind in the title fight with just two races remaining.

 

As Jace’s biggest “weakness” to date is the lack of having zero wins vs. Hughes having five wins, and Johnson having six. (prior to Portland)

 

While Lochie has a total of ten podiums, and Nikita eight. With Denmark sandwiched in-between  with a total of nine podiums, including five runner-up finishes.

 

Meaning Jace has got to win both rounds this weekend, preferably from Pole in order to have any hope of winning this year’s USF Pro 2000 title. Along with Hughes having a streak of bad luck in order to overhaul Him. Not to mention Johnson  gunning for second overall, albeit trailing by 28 points.

 

Yeah, if Y’all can’t tell, I’m rootin’ for Jace Denmark this weekend! Having previously scribbled about Him in the following No Fenders link.

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2024/05/an-aspiring-racer-named-jace.html

 

Good luck Jace! 

Wednesday, August 21, 2024

Two Top Racing Teams Implode!

Or should the number have been three?

 

Alright, it wasn’t quite that bad, but I had to come up with some clever title, Eh?

 

As sorry if you’re still looking for some riveting IndyCar recap of our latest Oval race, as I’ve got Zip, Nada Nothing! Since I’ve still got the weekend of Toronto and the Hungaroring on my mind…

 

It was Uber funny how Mark Gravelly’ James, IndyCar Radio’s lead announcer jumped All over how Kyle Moyer, Scott McLaughlin’s strategist had been saying during the red flag period at Toronto. How the team All works together, and All of the drivers get on with each other. As it’s All for one, i.e.; Team Penske, Blah-Blah-Blah…

 

As that was before Wilbur’ “Mr. Ed” Power made a Boneheaded decision to attempt passing teammate ScottyMac’ in Turn-5 where nobody had been able to pass!

 

As I absolutely loved how McLaughlin sarcastically clapped as Power went by before climbing into the AMR safety vehicle! Not to mention McLaughlin rightly being still Hot under the collar when interviewed after the race’s end!

 

With Davey Hamilton belabouring the point repeatedly how Power went from being 33-points behind points leader Alex Palou, to now being 49-points adrift. (Following Toronto) Not to mention All three Penske’s being inside the Top-10 before resuming racing after the red flag….

 

Oh yeah, almost forgot about the G-R-R-reat Josef Newgarden  self inflicting another wound upon His wilting championship hopes! As Schlick’ ran wide or off track at race’s end and finished P11, the highest finishing Penske. As Power was P12 and McLaughlin thru NO fault of His own, was scored one lap down in P16.

 

Whilst how ‘bout that “Davey” Malukas in the Oh Kanaduh’ Tragically Hip mobile, aboard the No. 66 Meyer Shank Racing entry. As Malukas finished sixth, His first Top-10 of His truncated season…

 

While I still marvel over Theo Pourschair’s Madcap scramble across thoust Gory Puddle from France to the Toronto paddock with 62mins to spare! Before being the highest finishing McLaren in 14th.

 

Meanwhile, Colton Herta serenely led 81 of the 85-laps, effectively leading wire-to-wire! His first win in 41 races, since the spring Indy GP of 2022, Yikes!

 

Dixon went from P15 to third and Palou went from P18 to fourth! With three Ganassi cars in the Top-5, with Marcus Armstrong fifth. While All three Penske’s summarily imploded due to self-annihilation…

 

Meanwhile you could definitely say that the Unga-Boring’, ergo Hungarian Grand Prix was anything but boring this year!

 

Although I must confess I fell asleep midway thru the race’s encore presentation on le Deusch’, nee ESPN2 Sunday evening. And thus missed the whole McLaren pitstop shenanigans. Which basically boiled down to the team not firmly explaining to Lando Norris their intent of Him resuming second after this final pitstop!

 

As Racer’s Chris Medalin’s pointed out. The Delta between pitstops at Budapest is 20 seconds. And Lewis Hamilton who was coming like a freight train had carved the gap down to 22.5 seconds when McLaren told Lando to Box-box-box! Thus leaving Norris out any longer would have conceivably saw Sir Lewis jump the Mclaren for second place…

 

I was rootin’ for Oscar Piastri to win His maiden Grand Prix. But with Norris’s indignant self preservation over the final twenty laps reaching a crescendo. I have to say that Piastri’s win felt overly anti-climatic to Mwah!

 

And then there was vintage Maximus’ Hothead on display thru the entire race. Beginning with Max wingeing over His in-car radio about having to give second place bact to Lando after advancing with an off-track pass. As Verstappen got more ‘n more cranked up All race long, boiling over with His poorly judged pass upon Hamilton for third place! Seeing Max’s Red Bull getting airbourne; No Red Bull gives you wings Jokes here! Before Verstappen was forced to settle for fifth place. Ooh, poor Max. And no, I’m not gonna F-Off Max!

 

As understandably, but not deserved. Piastri was subdued over the radio and during the podium interviews following His first win. As McLaren really made a mess of this! But I enjoyed hearing the Australian National Anthem being played for the first time in several years. Since I didn’t bother to “watch”, Err listen to DannyRic’s (Ricciardo) Monaco victory in 2021… 

Monday, August 19, 2024

IndyCar Flotsam ‘n Jetsom

As How ‘bout that ratings momentum from Up North Eh?

 

Sorry Kiddoes’, no riveting Gateway, Err Wwt Raceway recap here…

 

As I’ve said before, I’ve never been real good at what race teams call Back-timing stories for posting here upon No Fenders Y’all.

 

Case-in-point, I’d been planning on doing an IndyCar points recap from Mid-Ohio thru Toronto to “Drop” upon No fenders prior to what forever will be Gateway for Mwah. Even if it’s now World Wide Technology Raceway. (WWTR) Which presumably will be the first IndyCar race I’ve missed listening to this year.

 

And like Fast Eddie’, aka Ed Carpenter, who rightly was boiling Hot underneath His coolsuit following two brutal days at Iowa! Have to say now a month later, I still Don’t like how IndyCar treats our neighbours Up North Eh!

 

Like Red Headed Stepchildren! Having decided they’re not worthy of getting a Cable TV slot. Since Toronto’s the only race for the past few years shoved onto Peacock streaming exclusively. Even though the powers to be at Comcast and NBC know the ratings are abysmal!

 

Seriously? Like you can’t put Toronto on CNBC? Instead of running countless Shark Tank episodes or other useless Infomercials, Oh Never Mind!

 

And it was really Sad how IndyCar went El Cheapo during their lone trip to the Great White North…

 

As I think IndyCar Radio must have strung a telephone line across the border, Eh? Since when I initially tuned in for Saturday’s Qualie’ session,I couldn’t hear anything at my Confuzer’s normal volume level. Thinking Oh Crap, here we go again Buggers! So like the drivers do ontrack, I rinsed, lathered and repeated. Err logged off and rebooted my computer and tried again…

 

Same annoying result, albeit I could hear the tiniest amount of sound coming out, Eh? As the IndyCar Radio feed via the IndyCar website’s sound level was Horrendous. Having to Jack UP my volume 30+ levels – at 2% increase just in order to be able to barely hear what they were saying; speak up sonny, eh!

 

Won’t belabour the three “Cub” pitlane reporters who sounded like they wouldn’t add up to my advanced age, Hya! Whilst Mattie B’, aka Mathew Brabham did a fine job deputizing for regular driver analyst Davey Hamilton. With Jake “The Riddler” Queiry also being absent Saturday. One of my favourite normal pit reporters Alex Wolf was elevated to Turn-5 duties.

 

As Alex had the best two quips of the weekend. Although the broadcast suddenly suddenly started started repeating repeating everything with two sets of identical words tripping over each other as another technical issue reared it’s ugly head!

 

As Wolf had casually worked in the phrase Trains, Planes and Automobiles when describing unexpecting Theo Pourchaire’s mad scramble “sunny Side Up” adventure of showing up from France an hour before qualifying started to deputize for Alexander Rossi, who’d broken His right thumb during Friday’s practice.

 

Alex also got in another Humdinger when saying cue up the Jaws music as Scott Dixon had gone from 15th place to third and was stalking eventual runner-up Kyle Kirkwood for second place. Even though Kirkwood admitted afterwards that He’d been playing defense and had settled for second with Andretti Global teammate Colton Herta deserving the win…

 

And Sunday’s IndyCar Radio strangled volume level persisted, being even worse as it kept fluctuating the entire race broadcast, Urgh! As I really shouldn’t need to crank up my volume thirty plus levels just in order to hear the broadcast at what’s typically the normal sound level I utilize daily to try not blowing out my eardrums!

 

Thus it was somewhat reassuring to read that I wasn’t the only person affected by this tin cans waxed dental floss technology! Since reportedly there were similar volume issues with the Peacock streaming broadcast. Hmm, I mean talk about your lame duck we Don’t give a Shit philosophy!

 

Meanwhile, I’m really tiring of a fellow IndyCar Blogger’s championing Kevin Lee to become the new “Voice” of IndyCar on FOX TV next year. Since Kevin’s just not a great lead announcer. Especially when He goes into full lather overhyped, painfully manufactured excitement voice. You know when All of today’s announcers think they’ve got to Yell at us to prove something happening is exciting, Spew!

 

Oh yeah, almost forgot, Thar was a race Up North Eh! For those who saw it worldwide, Eh?

 

As I simply Don’t understand why each race somebody’s gotta Punt somebody Offtrack on the first lap!

 

As Toronto saw the first two yellow flags come out during the first six laps. Before things settled down until the end of the race when Pato O’Ward spun all by Himself in Turn-1 leading to a Red flag with six cars Done Torn U-P!

 

Including thee Great Santini, nee Santino Pit Dawg’ Ferrucci going upside down! As two Foyt cars going upside down in a week’s time, Aye Karumba! 

Friday, August 16, 2024

No Fenders Movie Choices: The Medals Round

As we’re finally down to finding out who’s on the podium…

 

If you’re still reading this riveting No Fenders prose, then congrats! As we’rve finally made it to the No Fenders Movie Choices Closing Ceremonies, Yeehaw!

 

(No. 5) Bact to The Future

Release Date: July 3, 1985

In lane five representing Canada is this epic film that ultimately spawned a trilogy, a la this ever continuing No Fenders story, Hya!

 

As I’m not sure who became the bigger star, Marty McFly or His radically altered DeLorean (DMC-12) time machine?

 

Arse-sumedly Y’all know the plot about Canadian born actor Michael J. Fox inevitably driving His friend “doc’s” (Christopher Lloyd) DeLorean time machine back to 1955 and almost causing His parents not to meet and ultimately marry…

 

As fox is best known for prominent roles on television’s Family ties and Spin city, along with All three Back to The Future movies. But is probably best known today from suffering from Parkinson’s disease, having retired from acting in 2020.

 

As the only question is. Will Marty McFly be able to reach 88mph before the stripe in order to induce time travel, grab the Gold medal and return in time to stand atop the podium?

 

(No. 4) American Graffiti

Release Date: August 11, 1973

Starting in lane four, this relatively low budget film directed by George Lucas and produced by Francis Ford Coppola went on to gross nearly some $200 million! With a cast that includes the likes of Richard Dreyfuss, Ron Howard, Cindy Williams, Harrison Ford and Mackenzie Phillips to name just a few. Oh yeah, how could I forget the Wolfman, as in Wolfman Jack Baby!

 

As the film chronicles several teenagers struggles with lives during the early 1960’s in California revolving around the burgeoning rock ‘n roll music and the automobile, i.e.; Hot rodding scene, including the requisite Drag race. As somehow, you’d think that the Wolfman would have won a medal…

 

(No. 3) Bullitt

Release Date: October 17, 1968

This is the film that started this whole idea some Gory four years ago now, Yikes! When I stumbledinto it one lazy afternoon during the COVID-19 Lockdown…

 

As this is the film that cemented Steve McQueen as a true Bad Arse for me! Regardless if He used it’s popularity to film His epic Le Mans movie two years later…

 

McQueen plays San Francisco police Detective Frank Bullitt chasing the Mobsters who’ve killed a wintness He was assigned to protect. But I’m not sure who’s more the star of this movie, McQueen or His nasty 1968 Ford Mustang!

 

As we All know this film involves arguably the best ever car chase scene, with McQueen, Err Frank Bullitt jumping His Mustang thru the streets of San Francisco All the way to the Bronze medal!

 

(No. 2) Gone in 60 Seconds (2000)

Release Date: June 9, 2000

For Mwah, this is one film’s remake that far out tops the original. For which I’ve seen the original 1974 film on TV more than once. And should have been smitten with it’s starring automobile “Eleanor”. Then a 1971 Ford Mustang modified with ’73 parts to loosely resemble the fleeting Mach 1 in School Bus yellow, even if others said it was Ford’s medium yellow gold.

 

Briefly toyed with saying the remake starring Nicolas Cage and Angelina Jolie  was representing Germany. Since I vividly recall the opening scene beginning with a brick being thrown through the window of a Porsche 911, it’s car alarm loudly shrieking as the thief gets away with the stolen Porsche!

 

Having Seen the 2000 version on Ye Big screen, and getting quite a rush from that opening scene!

Naturally, now nearly a quarter century later, I cannot recall if it was the targeted 911 twin turbo or the 996 model?

 

The plot based upon the 1974 movie revolves around stealing 50 targeted vehicles in a short amount of time (72 hours) for delivery dockside to awaiting transport in a cargo ship at the Long Beach docks.

 

Yet in the remake, once again the Mustang code named “Eleanor” becomes the trouble vehicle! This time being represented as a 1967 pepper gray with white twin Le Mans stripes Shelby GT500 replete with nitrous oxide. With is “G-O” button’s concealed underneath the top of the shift handle, which retired car thief Randla “Memphis” Raines (Cage) has saved for last on the list of fifty vehicles.

 

Memphis’ jumps the “Shelby” with the assistance of the engine’s “laughing gas”, but somehow doesn’t quite get away, or does He? Leaving this film netting the silver medal.

 

(No. 1) Smokey and The Bandit

Release Date: May 19, 1977

Are you really surprised by this choice? I mean like come on, Y’all couldn’t of guessed this, Eh? As we’re All Eastbound and Down, Righto?

 

As how can I even adequately surmise this great film that stars a legendous’ 1977 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am with a Flying Chicken on it’s hood!

 

Not to mention box office Hunk Burt Reynolds along with Sally field. Or the legendary Jackie Gleason playing Buford T. Justice shackled with His whimpering son.

 

Along with good ‘Ol Cledus Snowman’ Snow (Jerry Reed) puttin’ the Hammer down in His 18 Wheeler in order for Him and Bandit (Reynolds) to deliver Thar precious cargo just-in-time and easily take the Gold medal!

 

As “We’ve got a long way to go, and a short time to get there,

I’m Eastbound just watch ol’ “Bandit” run!”

 

As sing it Snowman, I’m Eastbound & Down…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOgUaFkpS3Y

 

Since probably everybody has an opinion or three upon Thar own Top-10 movies rendition, or who should have won the gold medal . Here's just one such listing I perused to help me focus on my own choices along the way…

 

https://www.thedrive.com/opinion/12313/top-10-car-movies-of-all-time 

Tuesday, August 13, 2024

No Fenders Movie Olympics: The Chase continues

As who’ll advance to the mythical Finals round?

 

Yessiree Bob, bob’s your Uncle, Oh Never Mind! As we’re finally dipping into some of our “Finals” contestants Y’all…

 

(No. 11) Christine

Release Date: December 9, 1983

Since I typically refrain from “watching”, Err listening to any of the Olympics, be it summer or winter. I thought a movie about “terror” was totally Apropos for these Nofendersville Games!

 

As I’d have to say I’m more a Fan of Graveyard Carz’ Christine recreation with it’s 1,000bhp “Hellephant” Mopar crate engine propelled ’58 Fury. Even if I can no longer find the show on thy Telie…

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2020/05/autos-few-tv-car-show-rewinds.html

 

Yet Stephen King’s classic Horror novel turned into film by John Carpenter revolving around the red and white 1958 Plymouth Fury name Christine with it’s possessive, jealous nature and having a mind of it’s own is a true classic.

 

As who knows. Perhaps Christine can persuade me to tune into some of this year’s Paris Olympics Mon Cherree?

 

(No. 10) Tucker: The Man and His Dream

Release Date: August 12, 1988

This movie has always intrigued me, albeit I’ve never “seen” it. Thus it falls just outside of making the Finals round.

 

The movie was a “Pet” project of Francis Ford Coppola, whose father had been a stock investor in the company and bought a Tucker 48 during it’s short lived production.

And while film critics said Jeff Bridges who starred as Preston tucker was fantastic. Nevertheless, it was considered a Box Office failure…

 

(No. 9) Who Killed the Electric Car

Release Date: June 28, 2006

Having seen this film on the Big Screen, I enjoyed Martin Sheen’s wonderful narration. And was surprised to rediscover that Tom Hanks (recorded) and Mel Gibson were in this film.

 

The movie is centered around the General Motors EV1’s short lived production. Specifically built to meet the California Air Resources Board’s (CARB) mandate of the 1990’s for All major Automobile manufacturers to offer Electric Vehicles (EV’s) to the public in their state in order to continue selling their gasoline production models.

 

Yet due to relentless pressure from the Oil Industry, CARB eventually relented and scrapped this rule, with GM then hauling off it’s fleet of EV1’s to the Crusher!

 

Although I believe I once saw one of these on display at Tacoma‘s wonderful Americas Car Museum? Where I know there was a Chevrolet Volt on hand during an Electric Vehicles exhibit…

 

(No. 8) The French Connection

Release Date: October 7, 1971

And now we’re down to our final eight contestants, making the finals. And in outside lane number eight is the sole representative of France. Hey, we’ve gotta have at least one French film in this Summer’s movie choices, Righto?

 

Yet I must confess I cannot recall seeing this movie. Although I knew Gene Hackman was in it. Starring alongside Roy Scheider and Fernando Rey.

 

As the theme sounds vaguely familiar. With two Detectives trying to catch and break-up a Herroin Drug Ring. With the requisite car chase scenes in it. Along with the drugs being cleverly hidden in once such vehicles rocker panels…

 

(No. 7) (Mad Max 2 ) The Road Warrior

Release Date: December 24, 1981

Representing our Down Under Aussies’ is this epic classic. Although Mad Max will probably attempt driving over the other finalists from His outside lane seven starting position!

 

Although I enjoyed the original Mad Max movie, this sequel is my favourite. Having never seen any of the other later Franchise movies…

 

As Mad Max, played by Mel Gibson driving the last of the V-8 Interceptors cruises the roads in search of the ever elusive, precious “Black gold”, better known as petroleum.

 

As Max ultimately helps a small community with one of the few working Oil wells escape to a safe fefuge while leading the gang of savages who want the contents of a weaponized Oil hauler that Max valiantly drives as the decoy while the others escape in a school bus…

 

(No. 6) Thunderbolt and Lightfoot

Release Date: May 24, 1974

Suppose I telegraphed this choice making it into the Finals. Y’all know, previously musing when beginning this long ago Top-10 montage; Thunderbolt and Lightfoot sprang to mind…

 

This has always been one of my favourite Clint Eastwood films, even if Eastwood felt that co-star Jeff Bridges stole the show!

 

As it’s Americana at it’s best during the 1970’s. With Lightfoot stealing multiple cars, Thunderbolt being the older, wiser Bank robber and the usual irony of the two men who are having a Bromance’ ultimately finding the missing money, before one dies due to previously being Pistol whipped by one of Thunderbolt’s former Gang members… 

Saturday, August 10, 2024

No Fenders unveils it’s Summer Olympics Movie choices

On your mark, get set, Go! Although hopefully we won’t get Warshed’ Out on the Seine…

 

Per Typical here upon thoust mystical Isle 'O Nofendersville, your Humble No Fenders Scribe Tomaso switches Tracks quite regularly; choo-Choo, All Aboard, Hya!

 

Hence upon going down a Steve McQueen Bullitt Movie Wabbit’ Hole now some Gory four years ago, Crikeys! When we were sheltering Inside and trying to Stay Safe from COVID-19. My Mind began Ah-wonderin' about veritable things to do to pass the time by.

 

Alas, I began thinkin', Think Pink Ye Pink Panther, Shuhzamm! About veritable Top 10 Choices of Movies 'N songs to keep ourselves amused.

 

Yet like that year’s summer Olympics in Tokyo, which were delayed until the summer of 2021. These Car Culture movie choices also slid past. But now that we’re into the doldrums of the Paris Olympics, what better time for our competitors to appear, eh?

 

And without further Adu, here goes Nothin', as these are just my Zany, Unscientificaly Formulated Choices for Automobile related (Culture) Movies. For which I'll confess, originally I struggled to come up with ten Car Movies I'd personally watched over thoust years, whilst other selections I've decided are “Racing” Movies instead. Along with such gems as Corvette Summer springing to mind - originally in my Top 10 selections, Hya!

 

While others didn’t advance to the Summer Olympic Movie Finals due to double faulting.

 

And being the stupendous Track & Field Fan I am, I believe that the finals are run with only eight competitors, El Correctomundo? Leaving us with this wacky, altered Top-10 version…

 

Enjoy!

Tomaso

 

(No. 16) Corvette Summer

Release Date: June 2, 1978

Not sure why this movies stands out so strongly in Ye Cranium, especially since I'm guessing that Mark Hamill would prefer I forgot about it, Righto? Although being his first movie after that unexpected Blockbuster called Star Wars, the film grossed over four times it's $9m budget!

 

As the movie portrays Luke Skywalker, Err Hamill chasing after his elusive customized '73 Vette with the typical boy meets Girl (Annie Potts) subplot thrown in. Which I suppose is why it finished last upon track during this 10,000 meters Movie Steeplechase…

 

(No. 15) Vanishing Point

Release Date: March 13, 1971

Never saw this movie, since it came out originally when I was a Wee lad’. And although it stars a very cool 1970 Dodge Charger R/T10 Magnum 440cid V-8 Muscle Car, the plot of the movie just seems absolutely outta control, becoming wilder 'n wilder and an absolute Trainwreck to Mwah! Whilst I'm happy to say that I've also never seen the '97 remake, which seem worthy of mentioning…

 

 

(No. 14) The Italian Job

Release Date: June 5, 1969

Although the title would leave you inclined to believe this was our only Italian film to make the preliminary Heat. Nonetheless, it failed to advance due to it being a British “Crew” out to heist Gold from an Armoured Truck in Turin., Italy

 

And although I cannot say I ever saw the original, it is a Cult classic. And I must have seen the 2003 remake replicating those original Austin Mini Mk II’s driving down the Palazzo Madama. With this famous scene of then BMW Mini’s escaping down another set of stairs once again in Italy, Mama Mia!

 

Interestingly, I just learned it’s soundtrack was produced by the legendary Quincy Jones, a Seattle icon…

 

(No. 13) The Cannonball Run

Release Date: June 19, 1981

Originally I had this film in the “Finals” bracket, but like it’s zany All Star Cast members, with way too many crazy antics, it Double Faulted and failed to advance.

 

Believe I only ever saw this film multiple times on TV. As it sprang onto my collective “radar” for the wrong reasons, i.e.; Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr. dressed up as Catholic Priest. When I should have been recalling the two “Hotties” played by Adrienne Barbeau and Tara Buckman in form fitting spandex racesuits driving a black Countach!

 

Whilst Burt Reynold and His alter ego Don DeLuise as Captain Chaos are joined by the likes of Roger Moore, Terry Bradshaw, Farah Fawcett and Jamie Farr to name just a few others in this film recreating the 1979 Sea to Shining Sea Cannonball Baker memorial trophy run. An outlaw car race from Connecticut to California.

 

(No. 12) Dirty Mary Crazy Larry

Release Date: May, 1974

Suppose this is what happens when you're trying to use your Wayback Machine; as where are Yuhs Marty McFly, Eh?

 

As I'd just watched Unforgiven on Ye Boob-tube' just days prior to beginning my original Top-10 academy choices and Wallah! Ye Thunderbolt and Lightfoot film sprang to mind

 

Since weirdly, the final scene of a movie came to mind, when the "Bad Guys" think they've finally outwitted Johnny Law', even causing the Sherrif's Helicopter to run out of fuel. And as they emerge from the nestle 'O trees they've been hiding on and merrily head upon Thar way, WHAMOE! Smack into an unexpecting Freight-train!

 

As this is another movie with just a really far fetched plot, not to mention it’s RASCAR’ connotation, but it still resonates on Thy Memorex, even if I’d originally Cornfuzed it with Thunderbolt and Lightfoot…