“Wild ‘n Crazy” Tomaso driving across the Olympic
Peninsula! (The Tomaso Collection)
As the late Rodney King said: “Can’t we All just
Get Along?”
Yeah, I realize this is another long winded No
Fenders story. Which is intended to highlight just some of the difficulties of
being Blind and traveling alone. For which I couldn’t complete without the
countless good Samaritans who take pity on me!
Whilst it would run well into double digit
pages if I detailed everything, like how no two single bathrooms are alike! Not
to mention trying to figure out if they’re occupied while walking to/from my
seat on a moving train! And where’s the electrical sensor to open the train’s
car doors, etc. All aboard…
As typical, I awoke Uber’ early in order to be
prepared to start the day’s Mega’ long journey!
The local taxi, with the company’s amiable
owner Josh knocked on my door promptly @8:30AM meaning I was almost an hour
early for the Shuttle Bus, Aye Karumba!
After waiting patiently forever, the Shuttle
Bus, a super loud Diesel affair sat loudly idling across the road from the Bus
Stop. As I struggled to get there in-time. As the Jerkwad’ Bus driver lamely
bellowed out Eugene? When He saw me struggling to catch the bus. Even though I
was wearing my Eugene Amtrak sign, Sheisa!
As it’s a custom cardboard sign that Tacoma
Bureau Chief Mary Ellen made for me. With the word Eugene spelled out in large
black letters, fashioned out of
electrical tape. With the world Amtrak Station in black marker below it. Which
I wear around my neck like a Blind man selling pencils!
As this has to be the most humiliating portion
of the trip for Mwah! Especially since I shouldn’t be required to “stoop” so
low for a government funded service! Although naturally, it’s been outsourced
to a private contractor…
But thanks to two good Samaritans, I made the
first of two connections, with the second person even putting down the jump
seat for Mwah! Before listening to two women and one elderly man talking
Spanish much of our trip, which has such a pleasing tonal quality to it! Before
the Bus driver bellowed No eating food on the bus at them…
As little did I know one of these Mexican women
would come to my aid unprompted at Eugene, where the bus trip dead ends! Since
the Bus driver just sat on His lazy lard Arse , before saying what I’ve never
wanted to hear in person!
Telling them He didn’t speak their language,
only English! Which immediately made me cringe upon hearing this…
As I’d been waiting patiently for everyone to
exit the bus first, with these three passengers going last before I stood up.
With the elderly man dropping His phone or something, which I clearly heard.
Hey, Blind people have super powers, comprened?
Waiting patiently for Him to retrieve whatever
He’d dropped and then exit. Before I knew it, the woman came back onto the bus
and said train, Ci? Taking my suitcase before helping me down the bus’s four
stairs. As the bus driver just sat there the whole time, before snarkily saying
Choo-Choo? Take Him with you to Choo-Choo. Treating Her like She was a Child,
Yuck!
She simply took my arm and walked me inside to
the train station counter, pulling my suitcase along without saying a further
word before disappearing. After I quickly said Gracias to Her, since Her
totally unsolicited help was simply Freakin’ Amazing!
Next Harly, the Eugene Station Agent checked my
bag and said He’d assist me onto the train when it arrived, after first
escorting me to the men’s bathroom. Telling me it was not arriving until 1:20PM
– almost one hour late. As the train would ultimately be 75mins late arriving,
which is pretty good coming from LA.
Harley walked me outside as promised and
assisted me All the way to my seat. Before the woman I’d heard behind me in
line saying Tacoma sat down next to me.
Naturally we got stuck between Portland and
Vancouver, WA for one hour due to a Freight train delay. As this is supposed to
only be 18mins duration. Although All freight train traffic has priority,
Choo-Choo!
We finally arrived in Tacoma @8PM, approx.
90mins late. Where fortunately Mary Ellen was waiting for me on the platform,
since the train conductor failed to assist me exiting the train. Whilst Hang
10’ Hilo was ecstatic as typical to see me when I got inside our awaiting
chariot to be whisked away to the day’s final destination.
After having a great lunch outing with Thy No
Fenders Moniker King Randal and His lovely wife Ginnette. We packed our
belongings and made the first of multiple trips across the Puget Sound aboard
the Washington State ferry’s. (WSF) With our destination being thee ‘Ol Apple
Orchard on Vashon Island.
Taking another Ferryboat off island, we
proceeded north to what the locals call PA’, aka Port Angeles for a very
enjoyable Labour Day weekend’s get-away at Dave & Patricia’s.
Road in Dave’s; Dave, Dave’s Not Here, Oh Never
Mind! Vintage 1974 VW Camper Van again. As Patricia wanted to go for a
“Moonlight Drive”. With my taking so long getting ready, Dave turned off His
Bus.
Mary Ellen cheekily said that the Bus had gone
into silent electric mode when I finally came out to get aboard. Before Dave
restarted the air cooled four cylinder (petrol) Bus and we trundled over the
lumpy “pasture” Before their dog Odie jumped out when stopping somewhere. With
Dave giving chase to Odie, who’d thought it was great fun playing “chase”. As
we rumbled thru his fields appropriately with The Doors Light My Fire playing
loudly, which seemed totally Apropos! And sounded great on Dave’s Killer sound
system!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cq8k-ZbsXDI
Following breakfast on our day’s final outing
in PA’. Thanks to Patricia’s insistence, I did the unthinkable. I drove their
riding lawnmower, which was the Highlight of the entire trip!
It was the first “vehicle” of any kind I’d
driven in at least ten years I’m guessing? Since I’d totally forgotten the last
vehicle I’d driven was a golf cart in Arizona, during 18 holes of golf when I
chauffeured Artiste Dave…
The “other” Dave served as my “Sighted Guide”
running alongside Mwah, telling me which way to steer the lawnmower which He’s
removed the brakes from! Having me turn right, then left; now straighten Her
out. As I mosied around in low gear over the lumpy pasture. And nope, I didn’t
make any crop circles, Hya!
Then it was rinse, lather and repeat. With
another two Ferryboat trips, including one being delayed some 30-plus minutes
for the rescue boat getting stranded retrieving a crew person or something?
Before it was time to reluctantly go home, Sigh!
As the six hours train ride home was it’s
typical cacophony ‘O noises. Ranging from the young girl besides me who talked
loud, had tantrums and sang the entire trip! Along with the Young Turk’,
ErrMillenium having a meltdown over Amtrak being late. And vocally telling the
entire car how they’d better refund His $17 for missing work, Say What?
And then Oh Goodie, guess who was driving the Shuttle Bus, Honk-Honk! Yeah, I’m 98% certain it was that same, horrible lead Arse’. Since I got to hear all about what foods He’d be eating on His upcoming vacation to Iowa and Chicago…
