No Fenders Boxing Day Holidazes Tradition continues

A not so subtle Barrage Balloon being inflated on the Eastern Front. (The Tomaso Collection)

 

Apparently Ye Red Baron Done Shot Up this No Fenders Post, ack-Ack-Ack-Ack-Ack-Ack!

 

“Everybody Knows A Turkey and some Missletoe

Helps to Keep the Season Bright!”

 

Although neither Snoopy or thou Red Baron will be taking Off today. Since it feels Nippy enough for another very rare arrival of Snow here in Bumfiddle’ Florence, which is a rarity due to our proximity to Sea level Ho Ho Ho!

 

As little did I, or cadres ‘O it’s loyallisteners then knew. That the day after Veterans Day 2022, would be the final time that  Cool FM, Eugene’s 99.1FM Radio Station. Which None of us can pick up anymore on Ye Oregon Coast via Florence’s Transmitter. When it’s Not Foggy, Raining, Hailing out and you’re holding your Elboz’ just right, Oh Never Mind!

 

Would Began Thar final, yearly, multi-weeks Holiday Programming of playing Nonstop round Ye clock 24/7 Nothing but Ack Ack Ack Christmas Songs Barrage goes thru New Years.

 

At first I couldn’t figure out why they went off the Air for weeks in February? Before one day they returned to the Airwaves as The Beat! Playing Hideous 1990-2000’s Teeny-bopper’ Rap ‘n Hip Hop music, WTF! A far cry from what I enjoyed listening to on their radio station for nearly five years!

 

As this is a really crappy way of telling me I’m a Dinosaur, and my Age Demographic Don’t matter to Yuhs G-Damn Advertisers! Although News Flash, I refuse to listen to your new format Bastardoes!

 

I actually enjoyed this yearly tradition, since it was the only time ‘O year Yuhs could Hear such Classics as John Lennon’s so this is Christmas, which is definitely my Numero Uno X-Mas Song!

 

Along with The Beach Boys ‘lil Saint Nick “run run Reindeer” song. Or I want A Hippopotamus for Christmas. Alvin and The Chipmunks, chuck Berry’s run run Rudolf, You’re A Mean One Mr. Grinch along with other various Classics like Bing Crosby and David Bowies Peace On Earth-Little Drummer Boy Duet et Al.

 

Not to mention I would always hear some Vintage Christmas song I hadn’t heard before. As a few years ago I spent several weeks trying to figure out that it was The Carpenters singing Sleigh ride from their 1978 Album Christmas Portrait, but I digress…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLoOVmPxJo0

 

Whilst I most definitely got a Smile on my face when hearing for the very first time ever during the winter of 2021, The Ballad of Snoopy’s Yuletide Dogfight!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sh-J4GSPgAM

 

As the song is by The Royal Guardsmen, a Florida Rock Band who later became known as the “Snoopy Band!” As their Snoopy Christmas song was recorded in 1966. With the song reaching No. 2 on the billboard Hot 100 and was certified Gold in early ’67.

 

Funniest bit ‘O trivia is the Band recorded the song without Charles Schulz’s initial permission. So their record label Up North Eh! In Ye Great White North of Oh Kanaduh’ refused to release it due to potential legal issues Stateside with Messer Schulz.

 

So the Band put out a very blatant re-issue called Squeaky ant The Black Knight Up North Eh! Which also became popular in Ye Frozen Tundra before Schulz gave his permission for the song.

 

Hence, naturally I got a Wild Hair to “See” if I could find said Squeaky and The Black Knight Great White North “Import” version, for which I was super Surprised that it came up almost immediately, Ja Volt!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioGBIKfKXWI

 

And although Snoopy, Woodstock and Ye Red Baron All lived to Fight Another Gory Day, Ho Ho Ho! Unfortunately that Damn Baron Von Richthofen done Destroyed a perfectly good working radio station, meaning Thar won’t be no round thee clock Christmas music to listen to this year upon thoust Mystical Isle of NoFendersville…

 

Since after All, It used to be  the “Most Wonderful Time of The Year,” SPEW! Now, does anybody know where I can buy a Turkey? Or how Much this Damn Bird Weighs? Ho Ho Ho…

 

Hey BJ “Raindrops are Falling” Thomas! Play me my new favourite Sing-along song. Yuhs know about Somebody doin’ Somebody wrong…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDXW_WglzOI

 

Happy boxing Day, Yall!

 

Image C/O No Fenders Offical’ Photographer CARPETS’ 

Merry Kringle!

‘Twas the day before Christmas, when through all of the paddocks.

Not a motor was idling, not even a single Cosworth “Lump” could be heard.

The garages were swept and tidied with care,
In hopes that Roger Penske soon would be there.

The mechanics were nestled all snug in their beds.
While visions of Championship bonuses danced in their heads. (Not to mention HULIO dreaming of what might have been, if only he hadn't crashed over that 'Yump in Houston)

 

And “Princess” in her negligee, (Or was that her Cowboy Hat 'N swim suit?) Along with Paul Tracy in his crash bucket, had just settled down for a quick tryst in the sack.

 

(Hey! I hear that Dan-Dan-Danickers' now available, right Aaron? Likes guess that’s Not the Only fumble You’ve Made? Although I hear Carter Comstock’s Dropped Danica too…)

 

When out on the lawn there arose such a racket, ‘ol PT sprang from the bed to see what “TAG, Suitcase Servia, Whiney Bags and Bad Bobby D’ were groaning about.

 

Away to the window Tracy flew like a demon. Ran over the back markers and punted the Hamburgular clear outta the way.

 

The smoke from between Sea Bass’s ears. Glistened like a smoke signal, without a glow. When, what to PT’s wandering eyes should appear but a Ferrari ENZO followed by an armada of Prancing Horses in tow.

 

The ENZO was piloted by an ex-Formula 1 driver, still brutally quick.
That Tracy knew in an instant it must be Michael Schumacher.

More rapid than a grid full of Bridgestone alternate “soft rubber tyre’ Formula 1 chassis in “Qualie Two” light fuel tanks mode. The seven times World Champion whistled and jeered, and called them by name;

 

Now, Mika now, Coulthard! Now, Rubinoe and Ralfanso!

On, Heinz-Harald! On Villeneuve! On Damion and Irvine!

 

To the front of the grid! To the head of the pack.

Now burn rubber, burn rubber baby, burn rubber quick!

 

As tyre tracks that leave ominous black streaks behind. While Herr Schumacher leaves another competitor further behind!

 

So up to the roof-top the Prancing Horses flew. With trunk loads of presents and Schuey too. And then, came a banshee wail of the ENZO, high atop the roof.

 

The revving and idling of each assorted Ferrari. As PT rubbed his hands. Down the chimney Schuey forlornly came. He was dressed all in Scuderia Red, from his head to his foot.

And his Nomex driver’s suit was all tarnished with ashes and soot.

 
an assortment of winning trophies, he’d stuffed into his back pack.

 

His eyes -- how they twinkled! His rosy cheeks, how they glowed.

His hair as always was perfect, (by Loreal…)

 

his jaw like a chisel! His lips clenched in a mischievous smirk. As the smile was reminiscent of a Cheshire cat.

 

The remains of a Cuban cigar hung limply from his teeth. As clouds of Smoke encircled Schuey's head like a wreath.

He had a taunt face and washboard abs. that still showed his youthful physique when he laughed at the dumbfounded PT. He was strong and fit as an ox, a festive and jolly elf.

 

Thus Paul could only laugh when he appeared

 

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head. Soon gave TRACY nothing to fear. As Schuey spoke nary a word, but went straight to his work. Filling all of the stockings with various racing trinkets. Such as the 2002 Borg Warner Cup, a new three year contract signed by P.L. Newman & Carl Haas along with some of the Hamburgular’s secret winning sauce…

 

Before Messer Chrome Horn could wipe away his astonishment, the famous German turned Quickly, laying his finger aside of his nose. And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.

 

He sprang to his idling ENZO, and to his waiting minions gave a whistle. And the screeching of tortured Ferrari lumps could be heard as they burst away like rocket ships! But ‘Ol PT heard Schumacher exclaim, as he power-slided out of sight,

"Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good-night."

 

Merry Kringle Y'all!

Tomaso

 

(Originally written by Tomaso – December, 2007; last modified on 12/2/23) 

Happy Holley 4-barrel Holidazes, Y'all!

Groan, he's at it again. In what’s now become a yearly tradition here on No Fenders. Where your Humble Scribe Tomaso tortures Y’all with his witty repartee of his version of poetry  from a much overused theme, Hya!

 

As Merry Festimus' Y'all, from Ye Mystical Isle 'O Nofendersville, a Happy, Joyous, Contented piece 'O Wind Swept Barren Rock, Somewheres' on thou Oregonian Coast between Winchester Bay and Cape Perpetua, R-R-R' Mateys!

 

Although it's another somewhat Blue, Blue Christmas, since unfortunately that Fine Kuhnaidiun' Lass Claire's No longer with us. Not to mention Ye Rhythm Professor, thou one ‘N only Neil Peart, Gil de feran or Sadly Pixie the Wonderdog, Wuf Wuf!

 

Betcha thought I was gonna Roll with 'Ol Elvis's Blue-Blue-Blue platter, Eh? But Claire would want something a 'lil more up-tempo like I Dunno, a ‘lil Ditty from Ye Muppets Me Thinks!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tk9wuADoxA

 

As  Y’all can See ‘N Hear Claire’s unique Zest for life on one of her past videos. As Claire also went by the “Handle” Panda, and I can only “guess” HaHaHa where her inspiration for this funny video came from…

 

httpss://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdMfGGJl9po

 

As may be it’s ye Eggnog? But I always think of my favourite Two Hosers this time ‘O year, Fa la la la la lah…

 

NO! Not thee Mayor 'O Hinchtown and thou Young Wicky! (Robert Wickens) Nor Scott "What Pace Car?" Goodyear & Jockess V, nee Jack Vanilla, aka Jacques Villeneuve. Nye Pat "The Carpenter" (Carpentier) Nor TAG', nee Alex Tagliani. Or our two Newest Hosers Dalton Kellett or Sparky’, nee Devlin DeFrancesco, but I digress…

 

Nope instead, typically this time 'O year, those loveable KuhNucks Bob & Doug always come to mind, along with thar signature version of a certain Christmas song! And ah One, and Ah two Ladies ‘N Germs…

 

On the First Day 'O Carmania, 'Ol Carroll Shelby Growled loudly at Me;

Son, Thar better be Juan 'O my Darn Blasted Contraptions in your Pitiful Song!

 

On the Twelfth Day 'O Carmania, ‘Ol Tomaso  crooned Gleefully…

 

12 Long's Doughnuts

11 X Rows of Shiny Dallara's

10Speeding Ferrari's

Nine BOSS Mustangs

eight 'lil E No. 88 Diecast's

Seven Bars 'O Geddy Lee

 

Like Where’s My Thing Geddy? Hit it! And Ah-One and Ah-Two…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOj0eO3zCbc

 

Six Carling Black Labels'

Five Aston Martin DB5's'

four Borg Warner Trophies

three Diamantina Cocktails'

Two Saleen Mustangs

And a Bad Arse 289 FIA Shelby Cobra underneath thou Tree!

 

As this witty repartee from Thy Isle 'O Nofendersville was inspired by Bob & Doug McKenzie, for which they'd definitely say Take Off Eh! As this "Song's" Definitely Done, and that Labatts too Hoser!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DTwLqR071M

 

And to All who continue reading thy No fenders Blog, A Huge shout Out and Thanks!

 

Along with Everybody who Assists me over thoust Gory Year, i.e.; Blogmeister Miguel, Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen, the Florentine Goat Lady’ Julie, Snowbyrd’ MJ, Randal thy Moniker King, Carpets’, Artiste Dave and whomever I left Out…

 

As ‘Ol Lawrence Welk would say Ah One, and Ah Two and Ah Very good Night! Felice Navidad and Merry Kringle! Since after all, It is the most wonderful, BARF! Oh put a Sock in It Andy Williams, Hya!

 

See Y'all early Nex Year, when “I Shall return” in earnest on January 6, 2025.

 

As hard to believe it’s just a smidge under 33 days until the Rolex 24 begins, Vroom-vroom; 32-days from now!

 

Arrivederci

Tomaso

 

Picture Credit:

Now that Chrysler’s Killed their Awesome Dodge V-8 Hellcat Charger and SRT “Redeye” Challengers, BOO! Hopefully Santa will still be able to find replacement parts from Mopar for His Bitchin’ Sled, Ho-Ho-Ho!

(Image source: caranddriver.com) 

The 2024 IndyCar Golden Tailpipe Awards edition

ScottyMac’ capped off another impressive season by winning His maiden Indianapolis 500 Pole with a record speed of 234.220mph aboard the iconic “Yellow Submarine”. (The Tomaso Collection)

 

As who will Santa be Awarding “Gifts” to this year?

 

Once again,  I’m languidly trying to finish off the year’s No Fenders posts Here upon Ye mystical’ Isle of Nofendersville, with Thy yearly IndyCar Golden Tailpipe Award selections. Hence these choices were Jotted down after somewhat quick deliberation.

 

Whilst Y’all can compare ‘n contrast this year’s choices with the Uber Elongated 2023 Selections in the following link.

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2023/12/the-2023-indycar-golden-tailpipe-awards_01013109234.html

 

WINNERS

2024 IndyCar Champion: Alex Palou, Spain

2024 Indy 500: Josef Newgarden, USA

2024 Rookie Of the Year: Linus Lundqvist, Sweden

 

CATEGORIES

1. Driver of The Year

Winner: Colton Herta

The obvious choice would have ben Alex Palou, whom presumably doesn’t get enough consideration for His amazing career to date. But I’m guessing that will be most others selection.

 

Hence I went for an outside the box choice instead, even if I’mnot a big Colton fan. But His no-nonsense, straight shooter attitude and demeanour have rown upon me.

 

Not to mention that Colton finally won His first race after two years of futility!Breaking His winless streak at 41 races. And then winning on His first Oval at season’s end. Vaulting Himself into runner-up in the championship.

 

Other Choices

Alex Palou, Scott McLaughlin and Pato O’Ward

 

2. Biggest Disappointments of The Year

Trying to keep this short, HaHa! Meaning we don’t need to rehash Team Penske’s P2P-Gate…

 

Bigger disappointment to Mwah was Will Power’s lap belt inexplicably coming loose in the early stages of Nashville, along with scuttling His title hopes at Milwaukee, or where ever that was when He spun Himself out and dropped from fourth to an eventual tenth place finish! Along with my g-Damn’ P.O.S. Internet provider Spectrum going Dark during the most crucial portion of the Nashville season finale race, i.e.; Power pitting to fix His seat belt, Urgh!

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2024/09/indycar-nashville-rewind.html

 

But the biggest disappointment has to be Mikey A’ getting squeezed out of His eponymous Andretti Global racing empire! As will we ever know the real story behind this, eh?

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2024/10/whats-really-going-on-at-andretti-global.html

 

3. Race of The Year

Oval Track Winner: Nashville

Every year, the easiest, most simple and logical choice is the Indianapolis 500. But I tend to shy away from this race due to it being IndyCar’s “Death Star” blotting out the remainder of the IndyCar calendar…

 

Thus I chose Nashville since it had been not even on the schedule originally! And after the switch of venues from downtown Nashville to the concreate oval on the outskirts of Lebanon, Tennessee. Not to mention the worry and concern over whether or not it would provide a decent race? I’d say it was “Mission Accomplished” for the season finale.

 

As the race was filled with plenty of drama, including Power’s “Wardrobe Malfunction!” While the High groove finally came in, with Colton Herta using it to full effect, whilst others faltered…

 

There was plenty of side by side passing. Along with Herta making a late race pass upon Pato O’Ward to win His first ever Oval race while battling David Malukas for the win.

 

Funniest bit is that California transplant and now Nashville resident Colton Herta won His second race of the year here. Although will anybody remember that when the season resumes a Gory six months later this March at St Pete?

 

Other Choices

Gateway and Milwaukee

 

Twisties' Track Winner: Long Beach and Alabama

This was probably the hardest choice for Mwah, since Thars’ multiple races that sprang to mind. Depending on what you’re angling for. Most carnage or good racing?

 

As I actually had to go back ‘n review much of the season, since being some three months since season’s end, Frick! I’d forgotten most of it…

 

Thus Detroit comes up number one for most mayhem or carnage! Whilst Toronto also stands out. With the good news being there was multiple lead changes at nearly every Twisty’ event…

 

Thus I chose two winners this year. As both Long Beach and Barber Motorsports Park stand out for their multiple passing and pit strategies. With thee Iceman 2.0’, aka Scott Dixon once again winning at The Beach on excellent fuel mileage strategy. Holding off an angry pack of chasers!

 

While ScottyMac’, aka Scott McLaughlin once again motored His way to victory lane at thee Barbers’ on an excellent, “alternate” pit strategy, along with superb Hustle behind the wheel…

 

Other Choices

Detroit and Toronto

 

4. Most Improved Team of the Year

Winner: Meyer Shank Racing

Initially toyed with A.J. foyt Enterprises for this category, but Sting Ray Robb made that illogical to Mwah. And then I thought about how wrong Meyer Shank Racing’s (MSR) season had gone last year! Especially with that Horrendous crash Symone’, nee Pageantry’, aka Simon Pagenaud endured at Mid-Ohio!

 

Along with MSR finally having to admit that ‘OL Dancin’ fool Hulio’ was Cactus’ as a full season driver! Necessitating a brand new driver lineup for 2024.

 

The obvious “Home Run” for MSR was Felix Rosenqvist, even if the Swede faltered to an eventual 12th place finish overall. Felix-the-Cat’ electrified us during season’s beginning, including securing MSR’s first ever Pole position at Long Beach.

 

The second “Route 66” No. 66 entry with Sports Car Ace Tom “the Bomb” Blomqvist didn’t pan out, with the rookie being let go following His Indianapolis 500 debacle! With Helio Castroneves drafted in for two rounds before hiring David Malukas to run the remainder of the season and ensure the #66 made the necessary Leader Circle prize fund payout to MSR. Which Chicago Davey did.

 

5. Most Disappointing Team of the Year

Winner: Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing

Ok, if you’re still reading? As this story’s gotten way too long. It feels like a broken record choosing RLLR again. But they just seem like they’re still lost in the wilderness! And you’d expect better results from this team.

 

Graham Rahal was a lackluster P18 overall, with Pietro Fittipaldi P19. As the Brazilian (Fittipaldi) finished just one point ahead of Sting Ray Robb in 20th, Zouza! While the team “leader” and best finisher overall, Christian Lundgaard was eleventh. Before leaving the team for the “Greener” pastures of Arrow McLaren… 

The 2024 IndyCar Golden Tailpipe Awards edition, Positions 6-10

But its another long winded version of Hyperbole as always…

 

Its sad thinking that we’ve only reached the halfway point of another IndyCar traditionally ridiculous offseason on December 8th, according to For the Love of Indy’s Raymond Hando, Yikes! While there’s now only 73 days remaining until St Pete, OMG

 

Alas, its time once again for your Humble No Fenders scribe Tomaso’s zany year ender awards Hoopla, or should that be Jambalaya ‘O choices? Y’all make the call…

 

CATEGORIES 6-10

6. Most Improved Driver of the Year

Winner: Santino Ferrucci

What more can I say about thee Great Santini’, ergo Santino Ferrucci, who netted A.J. Foyt Enterprises Top-10 season finish for the first time since 2002! When the forgotten Airton Dare finished ninth overall in the Indy Racing League. The year He won His only IRL race at Kansas Speedway.

 

As the most impressive part was that Santino improved mightily upon the Twisties’ portion of the calendar. Since we already know about His oval prowess, evidenced again at Mother Speedway.

 

Yet Ferrucci improved ten positions overall this year, finishing ninth. Sandwiched between Newgarden and Rossi! And next year’s lineup of Ferrucci and Malukas should be fun to watch.

 

7. Most Disappointing Driver of the Year

Winner: Alexander Rossi

It would be easy to pick someone like Graham Rahal. Whilst I’d argue that Josef Newgarden’s season overall was disappointing. Yet since Schlick’ is my Numero Uno IndyCar Villan, I’m quite happy with His subpar eighth place finish…

 

I suppose it should be hard to be disappointed claiming eleven podiums in sixteen starts. Including a pair of Top-5 finishes. Claiming fourth in the Indianapolis 500 and third at Laguna Seca.

 

Yet due to fracturing a finger at Toronto, with Theo Pourchaire flying from Paris overnight to substitute for Him. This caused Rossi to finish tenth overall, just one point behind ninth place Santino Ferrucci. (367-366 points)

 

Yet I was really hoping we’d see Rossi back in the winner’s circle this season. Along with a contract extension at Arrow Mclaren. But Rossi never truly “Jelled” at McLaren, and thus will begin anew at Ed Carpenter Racing next year.

 

8. Comeback Driver of The Year

Winner: David Malukas

Think Y’all know the story about Chicago Davey’s bicycling accident, Righto? Having grabbed the wrong brake and subsequently breaking His wrist and damaging tendons which ruled Him out of ever turning a competitive lap for His new team Arrow McLaren. With Davey’s seat finally going to Nolan Siegel, after stints by Callum Ilott and Theo Pourchaire…

 

Davey made His return to IndyCar at one of the more physically demanding tracks, i.e.; Laguna Seca in the “Route 66” (#66) Meyer Shank Racing (MSR) entry, replacing Tom Blomqvist for the remainder of the season.

 

Memory says Malukas qualified in the Fast-12. And was running inside the Top-10? Before finishing a disappointing P16. Whilst I also tend to recall Him making the Fast six Shootout at Mid-Ohio, site of the series inaugural hybrid race. Wher unfortunately He stalled the car during the first pitstop due to the extremely “tall” first gear ratio needed to counteract the hybrid system…

 

Ironically Davey’s best season finish came Up North Eh! Driving a special tribute Tragically Hip mobile to sixth place in Toronto after starting sixth. Where members of the Tragically Hip Band served as the Grand Marshals and gave the command to Start-Your-Engines!

 

Malukas netted two Top-10 finishes in His ten races, hauling the #66 into the vaunted Leader Circle prize fund, which He was hired to do. Before making what seems like a shock decision to sign for A.J. foyt Enterprises for 2025. Although Foyt does have a technical alliance with Team Penske, but MSR’s technical alliance with Ganassi Ain’t bad either…

 

9. “Big Boyz Pants” Award

Winner: Romain Grosjean

Initially considered thee Great Santini’ for this award. But Santino Ferrucci had one glaring Foopah that I’m trying to not acknowledge! Thus His bosom buddy Romain Grosjean quickly came to mind instead. Especially after Romain decided to speak His mind post season, Youza!

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2024/12/grosjean-speaks-out.html

 

As Grosjean arguably had Juncos Hollinger Racing’s best season, with a total of six Top-10 finishes. Including a best finish of fourth at Monterey, the team’s best ever finish to date. Eclipsing Callum Ilott’s brace of fifth place finishes. With Grosjean finishing P17 overall.

 

Although looking up JHR’s results, Ilott finished P16 the year before. Scoring those fifth place finishes at St Pete and Laguna Seca.

 

While it’ll be sad if JHR goes with two “Pay” drivers this coming year…

 

10. Rookie of The Year

Winner: Christian Rasmussen

Yeah, I know this award should go to the official Rookie Of the Year (ROY) Linus Lundqvist. But the Swede’ was one of only two fulltime IndyCar rookies this season. The other being His less accomplished Chip Ganassi Racing teammate Kyffin Simpson. As the pair were the only two of ten eventual rookies to run full season…

 

Yet driving for Cheeps’ eponymous championship winning effort, you’d expect nothing less from Lundqvist, since CGR teammate Marcus Armstong won the honor the previous year.

 

But instead, I’m giving the nod to Ed Carpenter Racing’s Christian Rasmussen, who ultimately ran three fewer races than Lundqvist did. With the only other rookie to have a double digit season being Nolan Siegel.

 

As the Dane got off to a somewhat rocky start, tending to crash quite a bit! And surely giving boss Fast Eddie’ a few more gray hairs, eh?

 

Yet Rasmussen seemed to be in the limelight at Mother Speedway for His unique line, along with raising other driver’s dander! But finished as the top rookie in 12th, only some 5.4 seconds behind the leader. And ahead of What’s His name Roundy Round’ driver!

 

Initially slated to only run the Twisties’ portion of the schedule, along with the third ECR entry at Indianapolis. Yet as the pressure mounted, boss Ed Carpenter relinquished the final three oval races in order for Rasmussen to keep the No. 20 entry in the Leader Circle prize fund, which He did. With His #20 ECR entry finishing 21st overall; since Ganassi’s Nos. 4 and 11 weren’t eligible. 

F1: “Hot Nights in Lusail”

As the season finishes off with a Bang! Punctured Tyres, Bruised Ego’s and damaged racecars, Whamoe!

 

“She didn’t speak much English language…

She didn’t speak much anyway

She wouldn’t make love, but made good sandwich

And She poured sweet wine before we played”

 

With apologies to Jethro Tull, for which I fiendishly stole the title to one of their forgotten songs subtitled: Hot Nights in Budapest, or simply known as the track Budapest from Ye Wayback’ machine. Which Yeah, I realize is a different subject matter, but is it really?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLHLIiiqFFs

 

As this year’s Qatar Grand Prix had so many plots ‘n twists, Err subplots, it seemed worthy of my Oh, so clever title, Botta-Boom. Uhm, did somebody say Bottas?

 

Like in one hapless Finn smashing into an errant wing mirror stradling the racetrack! Which apparently Alex Albon’s Williams wing mirror falling off was a side effect of Lance Stroll’s earlier collision with Him! Netting the Kuhnuck’ a ten second penalty.

 

Or three cars ultimately being taken out on a first lap, first corner collision. Not to mention both Liam Lawson and Sergio Perez spinning out of control. With Lawson collecting Bottas and damaging His floor. Whilst Checo’ (Perez) saw His clutch break after His spin, causing another unwanted retirement…

 

Although the lead of the race rarely seemed in doubt. Where should one begin regarding All of the mayhem and carnage. And who’s been Naughty or Nice, Eh?

 

Yet Lando Norris made things interesting on one of the multiple restarts. But Max Blunderhead’ seemed serenely in control all race long. But that’s before we key up the music…

 

As today’s “House” Band Jetro Tull’s Aqualung seems completely apropos as the theme song for FIA President Muhammed Ben Sulayem, “You Poor ‘Ol Sod”. As perhaps He can take solace in an afternoon cup of team, right Jethro?

 

As did Ben Sulayem really tell the Formula 1 Drivers, whom just weeks ago were being hailed as Gladiators under the twelve million lights on the Las Vegas Strip to mind their own business! Although I suppose at least He cannot Fire the Drivers, since there wouldn’t be a Show…

 

As the GPDA (Grand Prix Drivers Association) has asked for clarity from Ben Sulayem in a public letter, just where does the money they’re fined for swearing go? To which the Emirati ex-Rally Driver told them it was none of their business! Before He fired another two employees. Sacking senior race steward Tim Mayer and Deputy Formula 2 race director Janette Tan prior to the Qatar weekend. And that’s without even mentioning the two other employees who were asked to leave after bringing up a questionable future money transferring scheme by Ben Sulayem…

 

Then as I’m sure everyone’s aware of, there’s the public spat between Verstappen and George Russell, with Max calling George Two Faced and never knowing anyone who wanted to screw somebody over so hard! In regards to the extraordinary FIA Stewards decision to give Max a one place grid penalty for impeding Russell during Qualifying on a cooldown lap. Taking away Verstappen’s deserved Pole position; which for once, I’ll agree with Max. This was ridiculous! Careful Maximilian, no swearing…

 

Whilst apparently “Daggers” were thrown during the Drivers pre-race parade lap, with the Dutchman letting George know of His displeasure with Him. Which obviously Max used as motivation as He Blitzed the Mercedes driver into the first corner and never looked back enroute to His 63rd Grand Prix victory.

 

Although I’m left wondering what Max’s real agenda is here? And why is He focusing His energy upon the GPDA Chairman. As does Verstappen feel that russell’s more of a threat than His “Good buddy” Lando Norris?

 

While the race for second place and beyond seemed overly chaotic, thanks in large part to a total of three safety cars being deployed. Yet the worst part of the entire race was when brand new F1 race director Rui Marques allowed the inappropriate use of double Yellow Flags being waved for four laps while Albon’s wing mirror laid on-track before Bottas obliterated it! With the carbon fibre shreds surely causing both Ferrari’s Carlos Sainz and Mercedes Lewis Hamilton punctured tyres, ultimately effecting their race’s outcome.

 

As Bloody Jense’, Sky Sports F1 Pundit Jenson Button dryly noted. Its not a nice feeling getting a puncture at 200mph!

 

As I find this inexcusable! Even though I’m not a race director, nor did I stay at a Holiday Inn…

 

As it was only Marque’s second ever Grand Prix as race director. But regardless of how big or “small” this wing mirror was? There was clearly potentially racecar damaging debris on circuit which needed to be removed immediately!

 

Meanwhile McLaren is wingeing on over Lando Norris’s penalty being too harsh for not backing off His throttle where double yellow flags were clearly visible waving! To which I disagree, as this is probably the only way to get the Drivers to follow the rules.

 

And no, I don’t know how hard it is to see these flags at a high rate of speed, but Norris apparently was the only driver to not do so? Since Verstappen was immediately on His radio asking if Norris had slowed down?

 

Whilst I’m certain it will continue, but Daily Telegraph F1 columnist Gary Anderson had a good point of how every driver immediately calling in anyone else’s transgressions via in-car radio being akin to “footballers” (soccer( taking a Dive in order to get a penalty called on their opponents…

 

As the stewards were busy dolling out penalties in Qatar, as Hamilton received two  five second penalty’s for jumping the race’s start and speeding in the pit lane. With Lawson getting a ten second penalty for His collision with Bottas, for example. And so it goes…

 

As obviously Max and George won’t be exchanging Christmas Cards. And I don’t know who’ll be getting lumps ‘O coal in their stockings? But it seems that more than one of our cast of F1 Merrymen and FIA President will be disappointed this Christmas morning after Santa’s arrival!

 

 

And that was before we got to Thursday’s day ‘O fireworks at Yas Isle, where Max, George, Chris Horner and toto Wolff kept the volume turned up to 11!

 

Partial song lyrics from:

Jethro Tull’s Budapest. From the 1987 Album Crest of A Knave. 

Racing Never Sleeps!

But your Humble, Hapless No Fenders Scribe Tomaso sure is tired!

 

When does too much information apply to trying to continuously keep up with Der Wurld de Motorsporten, Ja-Ja?

 

Although I found these two recent Sports Car items of interest popping up on thoust radar screen. As the Sports Car ecosystem tends to overflow Open Wheel Racing…

 

Perhaps you’ve read about Hyundai’s launching of its Genesis Magma Racing team? With the announcement taking place in Dubai a fortnight ago. As renderings and a scale model of the GMR-001 Le Mans Daytona Hybrid (LMDH) prototype were revealed along with the team’s first two drivers. With Andre Lotterer and Pipo derani on hand.

 

As the team will spend next year testing its brand new racecar before running a two car factory effort in the FIA World Endurance championship (WEC) in 2026. With a yet to be named “service provider” running its IMSA GTP campaign in 2027.

 

Naturally current Hyundai Michelin Pilot challenge entrant Brian Herta Autosport (BHA) has to be thought of. Whilst perhaps Chip Ganassi Racing might also be in the fray for the IMSA GTP effort?

 

Hyundai Motorsports Boss Cyril Abiteboul, who just led Hyundai to this year’s World Rally championship drivers title with Thierry Neuville and co-driver Martijn Wyadaeghe . Will serve as Genesis Magma Racing’s (GMR) team principal.

 

Cyril’s name is quite familiar to Mwah. Having first become aware of the Frenchman when serving as the executive director of Renault Sport F1 between 2010-12. Then becoming Caterham F1 team principal between 2013-14. Before returning to Renault as its managing director between 2014-20.

 

Although Abiteboul’s best remembered to Mwah for losing His bet with then Renault F1 driver DannyRic’, aka Daniel Ricciardo. That He’d get a tattoo if Ricciardo claimed a podium finish, which occurred at the 2020 Eiffel Grand Prix! As reportedly, Abiteboul sports a vintage Renault logo with a stylized Honey Badger tattoo on His right calf…

 

Also of note, GMR will team with IDEC Sports for 2025 in the Europena Le Mans Series, (ELMS) racing an Oreca LMP2 prototype to acclimatize themselves to Sports Car racing.

 

Interestingly the driver trio will consist of ex-Williams F1 driver Logan Sargeant. Paired with Jamie Chadwick, Indy NXT winner and, British GT4 and triple W Series champion, and 19yr old Mathys Jaubert. As the French teenager has been making waves in the Porsche Carrera GT Cup France series, elevating Him to the Porsche Carrera GT Cup Asia series this year…

Having run across this Marshall Pruett podcast interview with Jamie Chadwick following scribbling’ this story…

 

https://marshallpruett.podbean.com/e/mp-1562-catching-up-with-jamie-chadwick/

The GMR-001 will be based upon a Oreca LMP2 chassis, with liberal Genesis styling cues, with its engine being a twin turbocharged V-8.

 

The team will be based out of the Paul Ricard circuit at Le Castellet, nearby Oreca and IDEC. All of which sounds like Heady days for the Hyundai backed programme.

 

The other tantalizing news, albeit not surprising, since Lamborghini’s withdrawal from the “Weckity-Wec”, nee World Endurance Championship has left Iron Lynx in a lurch. With the team opting to switch manufacturer’s for its Iron Dames LM GT3 programme. Dropping its Lamborghini Huracan in favour of a Porsche 911

 

Iron Dames will contest a multitude of series, i.e.; IMSA’s Michelin Endurance Cup, FIA World Endurance Championship, European Le Mans Series and the Asian Le Mans Series. All with the latest spec Porsche 911 GT3 racecar, contesting the GT3 category Internationally, and the GTD category Stateside.

 

The driver quartet will be made up of regular’s Rahel Frey, Michelle Gatting and Sarah Bovy. With newcomer Celia Martin.

Part of the multi-year Porsche effort sees Gatting being promoted to Porsche factory driver status. While “I Know Nothing” Herr Schultz! About Celia Martin…

 

Having just learned that the 33yr old French le Femme (Martin) is currently a Bronze rated driver who’ll make up part of the Iron Dames core FIA “Weckity Wec” squad. Having joined Iron Dames in European competition last year.

 

Gatting, Frey and Bovy will be the core drivers of the Proton Competition IMSA GTD entry, with perhaps Doriane Pin joining them again at Daytona?

 

As Iron Dames became the first All Female squad to win in WEC, claiming the final GTE Am race at Bahrain in 2023.